I am married and I went out with another man..?

Question

I am married and I went out with a friend from work just to hang out, we ended up kissing and he wanted more but I immediately stopped it. He was begging me to do it with him but I said NO, NO, NO. Than I told him I had to go home.

I feel like I am a weak person for letting it get as far as a kiss. Do you think that I am a horrible person? Should I tell my husband what happened or should I forget about it and just ignore that guy from now on.

Answer 1

Well please do not act so flipping innocent! You went out with this guy from work and you knew something was going to happen! You are not in love with your husband. Why not be honest with everyone including yourself, and get a divorce. Your husband has the right to know!

What would you think of your husband if he did this exact same thing? How would you feel? He has the right to know!

Answer 2

if you tell your husband, he will never trust u again. thats just the way he may be.

do NOT go out with this man again. you will sleep with him. distance yourself at work. i dont mean to be insulting but the body is weak! one wrong move on the right body part...bad enough he is a co-worker.

keep this to yourself and stay far far away.

Answer 3

Well theres your two options to tell your hubby or keep it to yourself. But if you keep it to yourself do you think the other guy will blurt it out? I think you should tell your husband before someone else does, because it will be better for him to here you say t then someone else.. And no I don't think your a bad person things happen at least you stopped it from going futher. Just becareful in situations like that.... Good Luck

Answer 4

Is there something lacking in your marriage?

Answer 5

I'm not the kind of person that point's fingers at anyone. So I will give you my honest opinion. You might have thought that going out with a co-worker was just innocent, but if you maybe knew that this person had some sort of feelings or that he liked you, you should not have accepted the invitation in the first place. I'm glad it did not go further because it's now worth it...this guy knows that you're married, so I'm thinking he does not respect you. Respect yourself and your husband my friend, and don't let this happen again. Just my humble opinion.  

Answer 6

Actually,if I were you,and my husband would be at strip clubs....well...I would have done much more than kissing! So it's ok not to feel guilty,don't tell your husband,wait until you'll find a man you want to stay with and then take him home while ur hubby's at the club lol!!

Answer 7

You made a stupid mistake. Learn the lesson and move on. Consider how you'd feel if you learned your husband had lip-locked some chick. Not so great huh? No point in telling him but remember how you feel now...the guilt.

1. Don't do it if you wouldn't do it in front of him

2. Don't do it if you wouldn't want him to do it also

The guy obviously has no respect for you or relationships, but then you apparently didn't encourage such respect if you went out with him and put yourself in a position for intimacy to occur.

Think about why you did what you did, and fix whatever is missing or 'off' in your marriage that caused you to feel it was okay to spend time with alone with a man not your husband...and kiss him.

Answer 8

this seems to be your revenge for him going to strip joints.  you two are playing a dangerous game with that.  if marriage matters you both better start working on it  

Answer 9

You'll be guilty for the rest of your life and you should, but if you had a tiny bit of intelligence you wouldn't mention anything to your husband and you should definitely stay away from the loser at work, because he certainly doesn't respect you!  

Payback is a btch, huh?

Answer 10

   This is off track a little bit, but I don't think that you're a horrible person at all. A lot of younger people are just naturally attracted to other people even if they are married. Your husband is attracted to strippers, and you are attracted to men with a little more class than that.

   Personally, I find the thought of a wife, looking outside of the marriage for a little action quite an erotic thought. If you tire of your husband chasing strippers, it may be in your best interest to get a little bit of action outside of your marriage. Put "hotwife" into your Yahoo search engine.

Answer 11

I think you knew what you were doing the minute you went out with him after work.  You should not have gone not alone kissed him.  You should tell your husband and find another job.  

Answer 12

Good for you for stopping him from going any farther. To be honest, yes it was weak, but you're not a horrible person, you're only human and made a mistake. Telling your husband would probably be the most responsible thing to do, but there's definitely going to be some backlash from it, he's probably going to be very upset at you, if not irate, and who could blame him.  And yes, if you're really sorry for what you've done, you should ignore the guy you were kissing from now on. You're married and this guy obviously doesn't care, especially because he wants you to sleep with him.

Answer 13

Do not tell your husband and avoid this guy like the plague.  Telling your husband about a kiss will only make him suspect you anytime you leave the house and will hurt him to the core.  

You were so right at stopping him cold in his tracks.  You do not need to feel guilty because you did the right thing by stopping at a kiss going straight home.

You are not a horrible person.  Think about when we were teenagers....a kiss wasn't even considered as "getting to first base".  So you and this guy didn't even make it as far as first base.

As absolution you could cook your husbands favorite dinner and have some wild, passionate s*x as dessert.

Answer 14

By now you should know how to avoid situations like that, especially being married. I think it was very weak to let him kiss you.

If you tell your husband, it could destroy your relationship. Marriage is sacred, or is supposed to be.

Answer 15

Yes that was horrible to do that to your husband and weak.

Answer 16

Put it down to experience you were tempted but remained faithful, that makes you a good person.  Theres nothing to confess I wouldn't lose his trust in you.  Stay clear of the guy though he's trouble, what a low life when he knows your married.

Answer 17

Well you shouldn't be married and hanging out with other men.  

Answer 18

My ex did the same thing.  Broke my heart when I found out about it.  I would not say you are a horrible person for doing it, but certainly it was not your best moment was it?  How would you feel about him if he did that same thing?

I am not sure if it is better to tell or not I guess.  You have to decide if you are telling him because you need to be honest with him or just to relieve your guilty conscience. That is a tough bomb to drop on someone.  You do HAVE to completely avoid that person in the future no matter which way you go with telling or not.   I know some guys that have a pact to never be alone with a woman when not a public place - to avoid the possibility of something like that happening.

Answer 19

You need to tell your husband otherwise it will eat at you forever.  Tell him just what you said on here.  That you made a mistake and you are cutting ties w/this man immediately.  You tell the other man to stay away and if he doesn't listen, you can file harrassment charges at work.

Answer 20

Yes you are weak.

How would you like your husband going out with women who like to make out too?  Honey you KNEW this man was interested, don't play dumb.

Just stop hanging out with men that are not your husband if you cannot control yourself.  Sheesh!

Answer 21

TELL YOUR HUSBAND AND DON'T DO IT AGAIN YOU KNOW THAT EVERY ACTION HAS EITHER A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCE  YOU NEED TO SORT OUT YOUR FEELINGS AND SEE IF YOU REALLY CARE FOR YOUR HUSBAND MAKE SURE THAT IT NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN IF YOU DO HONESTY IS KEY TO EVERY GOOD RELATIONSHIP

Answer 22

Tell your husband and let him beat the c**p out of the guy .  

Answer 23

That is idiotic. If you tell your husband he is going to freak out. Just learn from your stupid mistake and focus on your marriage and stop trying to sabotage that. Use your brain.

Answer 24

You should definately tell your husband. Honesty and communication are the keys to any good relationship. Will he freak out or be upset, probably. But if he found out from the other man, or someone else, wouldnt' he be MORE angry?

Answer 25

honestly you know you're husband but if you're sure that you're marriage is what you want and that  you'll never do this again take this secret to the grave some men can be unpredictable when angry

Answer 26

Did you tell your husband that you were going out with this other guy?

Why would you even go out with him to begin with?  As a group is one thing.... but a married person should never go out with another person of the opposite s*x, without other friends being involved....... Too easy to get rumors started.

You should tell your husband.... and make sure that you remain professional around this guy in the future.

If you kissed him once..... he'll be trying to get it to happen again.  and next time.... he might not take no for an answer.

Answer 27

yes its wrong and if you went that far you don't love your husband and should move on don't play with feelings

Answer 28

You probably should tell your husband that you were tempted to cheat on him.  Tell him the fact that hubby goes out to strip clubs helped to add to the temptation for you to sleep with another man, however, you can't use something like that to justify having s*x with another man, because there's no excuse for s******g someone outside the marriage, you two need marriage counseling.

Answer 29

I agree with Scott. What good will come from telling your husband? To him, you can't ever be trusted again, and without that trust, the marriage may not survive.  Although you may feel weak, you have learned an important lesson - never put yourself in a position that can't be handled. But you can't let the guilt take you over or your husband will sense it and want to know what's going on. Forgive youself and move past this. You did do the right thing, and for that you should be proud.

Answer 30

Learn from your mistake and make sure you DONT do it again! your not a horrible person a horrible person would not care and do it again. its okay to make mistakes as long as you make the mistake once and learn from it.

Answer 31

Yes it was wrong, and yes, you had a weak moment.  Do not tell

your husband, it will only hurt him.  Forget it and STAY THE h**l

AWAY FROM THE OTHER GUY IF YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR

MARRIAGE!!!!!