I am married and constantly think about being with other women.?

Question

and I do feel guilty about it. I know I am missing on things at home and I spoke to wife about it many times throughout marriage but she always goes back to her old routine again soon after. I am unhappy with conditions but I want to be there for my child and not put him through what I went through when I was a child with my parents divorcing. would I be selfish if I have an affair?

Answer 1

You don't want to do that. The consequences could be severe. Many Men including myself have undergone such limits as to drift away and seek peace outside of the home.

In the long run...it's not worth it, but it has been done many times.

I know one person that had affairs for over 25 years in his marriage.

He's still married by grace alone.

Answer 2

An affair would be a worse situation for your child than divorce.  If you are that unhappy with her performance, you need to be honest with her.  Help her to follow through on the things that will meet your needs (she may feel uncomfortable or have no idea what to do).  Get into counseling immediately...if you are interested in saving this marriage.  If you are not interested in investing in it...and by that I mean making sure her needs are being met too...then you need to pursue divorce.  Do not cheat yourself, your wife, or any other woman with an affair.  

Answer 3

Give her the respect of divorcing/seperating before you start cheating.  You obviously aren't happy and if she doesn't want to help change things you can't make her.  People divorce all the time, and yes it sucks for the kids, but it also isn't good for them to be around 2 people who aren't getting along and not happy.  If she wants to try get into counseling before it is too late. Good luck!

Answer 4

Yes, either divorce or get on with it.

Answer 5

s*x is part of a marriage. If you are not getting it, then the contract is broken. I can understand not divorcing is mom is a jerk and may abuse your child. Also, having an affair, you could be setting  up a messy situation during the divorce. You would be the bad guy.

Get counseling. Get a divorce. Last resort: have an affair.

Answer 6

Yes, you would be selfish to have an affair, unless you wife consents to you having extramarital s*x with other people, which I would assume is most unlikely.  You have told her many times before that you constantly think about being with other women??? - I would think that that in itself would hurt her/your marriage.  If you two can both agree to work together to preserve the marriage, whether that be by monogamy, changing old routines that are hurtful to you and the marriage (but hopefully not hurtful to the child, that is yet another consideration) that would be one way to re-find happiness in being dedicated to one another has husband and wife and stay together instead of giving up, albeit it takes work and dedication - which as you already know is the very meaning of marriage.  Professional counceling can help guide you through the process of finding the root of the marital issues.  If you see nothing but the end in sight already, eventually you will ask your ownself something:  Which is worse for the child....A) going through a divorce or B) growing up seeing and believing that what you and your wife share is what love is and what marriage should be.  I'm trying not to be judgmental here hence why it seems I'm kind of all over the place here, granted I do not know the details of your wife's old routines, the marital problems that exist below the surface that aren't being address, the age of your child, etc., etc.  I hope this helps.  

Answer 7

Maybe you aren't making her happy.  Cheating is not the answer, unless when you said your vows you had your fingers crossed.  Yes that is selfish.

Answer 8

yes...ask yourself what am I teaching my child by doing this?

Answer 9

You can think about other woman all you want... heck you can think about while you are having s*x with YOUR wife, but are you really asking a bunch of compete strangers to give you the green light to cheat?  So sad.  Get an imagination and spice up your own s*x life - maybe she's bored too!  

Answer 10

You already know it would be selfish.  Have you all tried marriage counseling? Have you tried to meet her needs?  You  sound very selfish even without cheating.  How are you there for your child, if/when the child has to listen to their mother talk about what a sorry a** you are/were to cheat?  Grow up and get some help for yourself and the marriage.  Was this your pattern all along, before you were married?  Cheating is a temporary distraction and will not make you feel better in the long run.  There are a lot of consequences with cheating that can happen to you too.  Some people you may want to cheat with, may make your life h**l.  If you and your wife are serious about having a good marriage, there is a Christian book, "His Needs,Her Needs" that is taught at some churches as a class.  It is very in depth and talk about the importance of meaningful s*x in a good marriage.  I know I sound harsh, but you really need to consider your actions before you make some big mistakes that not only impact your child but you also.

Answer 11

There is nuthing wrong with that let the mind wonder around as long as its her ur doing!

Answer 12

Yes.