I am not allowing my 8 yr old son have a birthday party due to behavior am i being to harsh?

Question

My son has been lying quite a bit lately. Nothing too serious but its happening often enough i feel it may lead to serious behavior as he gets older. I tried restriction, taking toys and games, even swats. Nothing seems to get his attention. So i told him he will not be allowed to have a birthday party this year. I still plan to buy him gifts and get a cake but it will be just us. Is this perhaps to harsh for an eight year old?

Answer 1

I dont think it is

Something important to him had to get his attention and make him stop misbehaving

perhaps telling him that if he's good you may re think the punishment?

or just seeing if he improves then throwing it for good behaviour and letting him KNOW its for good behaviour.

this will then help teach him that being good gets good things

good luck :)

Answer 2

yes i agree with you in not letting him have a party but at the end of the day he s not going to be bothered about it as long as he has presents from you i would punish him by keeping him in and not allowing him to go out with his friends to play he will hate that more  than anything (my sons did )and refuse to buy him treats like sweets until he can do so.  When my sons were small we use to give them pocket money and every time they misbehaved we would deduct 50p from it so they did learn in the end as by the end of the week one brother had more to spend than him .

Answer 3

No, I think it is a good punishment.

Answer 4

If his birthday is soon, then no.  If his birthday is towards the end of the year, then yeah.  But since you already told him no birthday party, you can't back out of the punishment.

Answer 5

This is your 1st/ only child, yes?

8yo boys do this. It's a part of growing up.Have you tried grounding him from other people's parties etc first? Denying TV and computer time? Take away games console(s)? Stop sports sessions?

I think denying him having some mates round for tea on his birthday is a bit tight; just make it a small quiet party - cake and sandwiches, jelly and icecream, and a few traditional games - at home. Actually, those are the nicest kind anyway.

Answer 6

yes meanie

Answer 7

a birthday only comes once a year. maybe he's been behaving badly, but hey, he's just a kid.

on the other hand he still needs to be put on the right track. and there's nothing wrong with a small family celebration.

Answer 8

not allowing your son to have a birthday party, instead buying him gifts and a cake that will be just for your family is not that harsh especially when you're doing it for a purpose. but swats... that's the harsh part. it may affect the psychological growth of your son, he's is only 8! even restriction from toys. because toys can really help for your son's growth, psychologically speaking, these toys may also help to solve your son's behavioral problem. but the best thing to do is to speak with him and tell him what's bad -  he's only a kid dude, it should be in a nice way!

Answer 9

No, I don't think so...drastic times calls for drastic measures...He's old enough to understand what and why you are doing this,,,maybe he'll learn.

Answer 10

One way or another he needs to learn and if there is a chance that it could work then he shouldnt have the party. you may feel bad, but he will feel worse and he needs to know his behaviour is unacceptable.

Answer 11

Why would you use the BIRTH of your own child to punish him for something? selfish? yes! unkind? yes! but then there's no accounting for SOME people!

Answer 12

I do not think so. Sometimes you have to step it up a knotch to get their attention and let them know you are serious. i comend you on putting your foot down and not letting a situation get any worse!

Answer 13

I dont think so.  You tried other punishments.  Just consider, after the birthday is over, how will you punish him next?  There always wont be a party to take away.  You may want to just have a small party, family only.  And keep the gifts toa minimum.  You can take the rest you would spend and put it in a savings account.  And you can tell him once his behavior improves he can have the money for something he wants.

Answer 14

I don't think so.

I would do the same.   Maybe I would tell him he wasn't having one, then if his behaviour improved, I might let him have one.

I think it's best to get bad stuff like this straight away than let him think he is getting away with it.  He might not stop doing it at all then...

Answer 15

I strictly say YES!

Birthday will come once a year only.. please do not hurt your sons feeling.. He is just 8.

Im 25 now still my parents celebrating my bday every year. So i also change most of my bad habbits for them..

Answer 16

no it is not. It is not like you have cancelld his birthday. Just having a party. Good for you. He has to learn. Whatever you do, sdon't go back on what you have said or he will think lying must be okay becasue you lied about the party

Answer 17

I have already gone 23 years without a birthday party (and I am 26).  I am fine; in fact, I consider myself better off than most.  And that was a big reason for it; birthdays teach selfishness and the culture of "me."

I very much think you are doing the right thing; and the only thing I would change is not buying him gifts.  I see no reason to waste money in addition to this.

You are most definitely okay.