I am pregnant w/ my 3rd child! I have been very depressed! my husband takes it personal! What can I do?

Question

My husband is the type of person who directly links love with s*x! I have had problems with my latest pregnancy. I have been very depressed, I can't work, and I have physical problems that the doctors can't give me answers for! My husband takes everythings personally! I want to make him feel loved and do something special for him, but I am coming up short with ideas! When I have good days, I would love to be able to do something with my husband to make him feel like the center of my world again! I love him and seeing him sad is not helping me get better! I used to be the life of the party and now I think I am more like the party pooper! PLEASE HELP!

Answer 1

thank God my husband doesn't feel like that.  he needs to get over it, ASAP.  s*x does not equal love.  aside from that, there is nothing that you can do to change his mind.  he needs to get over himself, and help you through your depression.

Answer 2

Why not do a night out for just the two of you? Get a sitter and go out and focus on you. Aside from the whole s*x/love thing it sounds like there's some communication that needs to be opened up (i.e. you are going through A LOT and while your husband may feel left out/not getting enough attention/lovin'- you definitely need some compassion).

Sometimes when you get away from the kids (I'm in the same boat...we have two already too and having any sort of an intelligent conversation just doesn't happen around here) you can really chat and open up about things. Who knows? Maybe the connection will spark your interest in s*x (at least for the night)...I know when my husband talks to me and shows interest in something other than getting right to the 'bow chicka bow bow' I get more into the mood.

Good luck to you and I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly!

Answer 3

Do a recount,Hon---you're on your 4th child!

You married one as well.

Dude needs to sac-up and realize this isn't about him---it's about a healthy you and a healthy baby.

Sorry to be blunt. I cannot fathom what goes on in your husband's mind!

All he should care about is that you are suffering with depression.

Tell him I said to get over his childish self and be a real man,who will be a true partner to you,not your eldest,overgrown problem child.

Answer 4

You can try explaining to him what depression does to a person ( or have your doc discuss it with him) and make him understand thats its not that you dont love him, its just that you physically cant show him right now bc of your pregnancy. Tell him that sometimes pregnancy can make you sad because of all the hormone changes and that you really are happy, just unable to fully show it. one night when you are at home, make a nice dinner (his favorites if possible), send the two kids to grandmas, and just have alone time, rent some movies and cuddle. If you cant have s*x, most guys (mine at least) find oral s*x very personal and makes them feel loved if they are in a relationship. It may help. The key thing is to make him understand that your depression is not anyones fault, especially not his. The way he's acting may not be sadness as much as it is worrying about you. Let him know that its going to be ok and you need him to be happy to help you feel better. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

Amber the second i told my partner i was pregnant his face dropped and he thought here we go again because apparrently i turn into a complete witch lol cant see it myself but he says im moody all the time short tempered ect but its something you cant control. i know its hard with already having 2 kids but try spending sometime on your own together when the kids are in bed and stuff or just sit and watch a film together or have a quiet meal just enjoy (well try) each others company before your new addition arrives as you get further into your pregnancy you will start relaxing more and realising that you cant get everything done in a day! try just comforting him by holding his hand or stand behind him and hug him when hes not expecting it, my partner says that makes him feel better. take care and good luck

Answer 6

My husband feels the same way.. it's very annoying.