I am really fed up of my daughter's crying? pls help ...?

Question

i hav a 3 yr old daughter, she is very shy n sweet girl, but the only problem is her crying... she cries too much. I dont wanna say it but she is really a cry baby, ever since she is born i always had this problem of her crying. It drives me crazy, when she starts crying , i start getting a severe headache.. n i start yelling at her n sometimes i really really get rude with her, i hav tried explaining it to her (when i hav my patience) tht i dont like crying ... pls tell me whts wrong... she cries over the littlest thing. i m really losing my patience these days with her... n hit her lot of time.. i notice that as soon as she starts crying i start stressing out n get a severe headache. i really loose my control when she cries.... sometimes im in a good mood n handle the situation but at times i m stressed out myself n i really cant take her crying...i m a stay at home mom and am studying too and i hav a husband who is very busy and offers little help at home..

Answer 1

Maybe young lady, you both need to go see the doctor, to see why your little one crys as much as she does? Maybe it could be a health reason, and for you to be put on ananxiety & stress medication,do you by any chance have any friends close to you that  could baby-sit with her for a couple of hours why you get by yourself take an anxiety pill, and let it start working then go back to your daughter? No offense mam, spanking a child is fine for correction,BUT you are not to ever hit a child because you're mad, wait till you calm down beore you even try to correct her, as far as her crying, there are normal reasons why I child cries, and there are many different reasons, especially at 3 yrs. age such as:1.) She's hungry,2.) She doesn't feel  good,3.) She's sleepy,4.)She's hurting somewhere in & on her body,5.) Attention(but not the kind you seems to end  up giving her),6.)Maybe she ia stressed out too!Ask your husband  when he comes in from work,or whatever if he'll watch her for a few hours so you can unwind?Explain honestly want is going on with  your child and you to your husband, ask for help! Then askGod for help! He'll help you!Do you ever play games with your daughter?Like maybr an hour a day?Try that too, she may just need someone to play with, remember she's only 3, put yourself in her shoes for a day, then you'll what is partially going on with her! Good Luck!God Bless your family(ALL)remember God gave your 3 yr.old as a gift,to enjoy,love,show her God's love, and things may change,are you by any chance are you studying when she decide to cry? May she wants you to pay attention to her,to play? Can you not study after you put her to bed? It would be easier for you to concentrate, and she would really be tired from play like a 3 yr.old is supposed to be?Go to a playground let her play, swing on the swings with her,go down the slide,etc. Just be a kid with her, pick days and hours you will take her out to different things to play with.

Answer 2

PLEASE get some help from a doctor before you hurt your child.  It is easy to get stressed out, but if you feel like you are going to loose it, you might and that will be something you will regret terribly.

Answer 3

And you wonder why shes crying!!!

She is picking up on your bad moods and is probably scared.

You would cry if some-one hit you and probably from fear that some-one may hit you.

Take a good hard look at yourself - that is where the problems lay.

Answer 4

Yes, toddlers cry a lot... and whine... and cry some more... and whine again.  Anyway, my point is that it is normal, and there is nothing that you should try to do to change this normal occurance in her development.  Just try to be as patient as you can.  And, if you feel yourself losing control and cannot find outside help, ignore her.  Tell her you will not listen to nor talk to her until she stops crying.  That way you will know if it is a legitimate cry of she just wants attention.  If she does it more when you are busy, she might be wanting your attention- just alone time with mommy.  if she does it when you are stressed, she is probably feeling your stress.  I know how you feel though, I lose my patience with my 2 y/o as well and I just have to walk away and cool down for a few.  I don't want to say something to hurt him because words cannot be taken back- even when they are said to a toddler.  They have an amazing memory.

Answer 5

It sounds like maybe she's not getting enough attention from you.  You're not teaching her patience or compassion, and you said you hit her 'lot of time'? Wow, she's just being a typical 3 year old. You're old enough to know better.  If the crying is that bad to where you feel you are losing control.  Separate yourself from her.  Go in another room, call someone, get someone (friend/family) to help you.  Again, some 3-4 year olds can by whiny and cry alot.

Answer 6

I agree you need to take some time for yourself -- For me - I was SO irritated with my kids - My doc started me on low dose of anti-depressants and it took that edge off - immediately - so I am not so fustrated with them (or my hubby) all the time anymore. I feel SO much better

As far as your girl - I tell my 3 year old I can not understand whining - and tell her to 'talk like a big girl'

When she has melt downs I talk to her quietly and tell her to get control of herself, take a deep breath, stop crying -- It took some coaching, but she does really well getting her composure back now.

My girl just wanted attention from me - and being annoying was the only thing that worked (she would repete herself 20 times, over and over and over - drove me NUTS!!) I tried talking to her about it, and saying 'how many times do we say something' things like that - but things only started to improve when I felt better and started spending more time with her - we'd stay up after her brother went to sleep, she's been 'helping' me get the new baby'd room done - even just watching me shop online and discussing the different cribs or whatever I am looking at..... or I 'play' tea party - while I am really doing something else - not too hard to pretend to drink inbetween pages of a book or whatever - she just wants to hang out with me - poor kid has only a 2 1/2 year old boy to 'play' with

I also realized that my fustration and irritability was really rubbing off on them, and causing a lot of the behaviors I hated - I'd snap at them for bothering me - when whining and repeating was the only way they knew to get attention from me. Now I can tell my girl to go watch her movie, and I'll get her some juice when I get up - and she says ok, and waits - but, of course I have to go do it!!

Anyway - I'd think about talking to your doctor (believe me - I KNOW its hard, embarressing, etc. - but your family deserves the best you that you can be) and setting at least a bit of time to do activities with your girl -- try ignoring the crying --- say you can't understand her, or she needs to use her words, etc - put her in her room until she can talk correctly (of course if she needs your time - thats kinda counterproductive)  - then reward her with a fun 'big girl' activity, coloring, painting, whatever she likes -- sometimes I make my girl clean up her toys before she can do or have something -she complains the whole time but does do it to get the reward - even if it's just grapes or cheese bread....

i totally feel for you - been there many times over (my kids dad left us when they were 21 and 5 months.... talk about stress!!) -- email if you need to vent / talk

Answer 7

It's very normal for a 3-5 yr girl old to whine/cry alot.  For some reason this phase just seems to disappear sometime during the kindergarten year.  Some girls are fiestier than others, and it sounds like she gets her fiestiness from you!

Please know that it's normal to get frustrated when she's doing this, it doesn't make you a bad person.  I'm sure you realize that there are simply better ways to handle it.  If she is having a meltdown, the worst thing you can do is have a meltdown yourself.  It will just result in a spiralling out of control situation that doesn't end well.  Heres tips from my experience:

1.  Sometimes they are doing it to get a reaction, try your hardest not to react.

2.  Figure out WHAT calms her down.  Try not to make it "getting her way."

3.  Redirect:  "hey, look, teddy wants to build blocks.  Do you want to build blocks with teddy?"

4.  MOST IMPORTANT:  figure out what causes the meltdowns in the first place and do your dutiful best to see to it that precautions are taken.  Often times being tired, hungry, or really out of routine will make a child sensitive.  If you spend plenty of playtime w/ her, she will be less likely to throw a tantrum for attention.

Know that hitting or yelling will most certainly make the situation worse and hurt your relationship at the same time.  If you need to express frustration, do it on a pillow in the other room.  Try meditation or a good glass of wine after bedtime.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Wow seems like you need some time away from your kid for a little while. Maybe a weekend or just a day. My daughter use to get on the last of my nerves so I had my mom take her for a day. I just had the day to do things on my own and when she got back things were so much better. I'm in the same boat sister

Answer 9

You have a lot of stress and I am very glad you are asking for help.  You realize that you are not handling this well.

You should not hit a 3 year old for crying.  She is not doing it to annoy you or give you a headache.  She is crying because something is bothering her and she does not have the language skills to express it with words.  She may be feeling your stress and it would be scary to her.  It is also scary to her when you yell, so that is just a vicious cycle: she cries, you yell, she gets scared and cries more, you get more upset, etc.

Explaining to her that you don't like crying is not going to help unless you teach her some other way to communicate.

Try to figure out why she is crying and help her out.  If she misses you or wants attention, try using a timer and give her your attention for 5-10 minutes every hour.

Never hit your child when you are angry!  You may hurt her, or teach her that hitting is okay when you're angry.

Please take some time to figure this out and learn better ways to handle it.  It will make things so much easier in the long run.  If you have never read about child development, get a book to keep handy.  I also really like Parents magazine.  It helped me to know when I was doing things right, and gave me ideas for when I was too stressed to think straight.

Here is an online article with ideas to try:  http://familyfun.go.com/parenting/child/...

Being a good parent is not instinctive.  It takes care and thinking.  You obviously care or you wouldn't have written this.

If you don't watch Super Nanny, you should try it.  She is really good and patient.  Here is a link for one expert who works on the show.  http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/your_kids...

Answer 10

sounds like you need some time to yourself... if you react emotionally, she will too... if you can't find someone to take her once in a while, put her in her room instead of yelling or hitting, and calm yourself first. then go back in and tell her that she's a big girl now. add a lot more hugs and approval to your daily routine.. look for reasons to praise her... but most of all, take a time out before you react emotionally to her emotions... you're not a bad mom you just need to step back and take a breather... but....?? if you don't, then you will become abusive... that's not what you want for her OR for you...

and start with parenting classes.... they will have heard it ALL before and you'll meet other moms in same fix.......