I am researching adoption, but I hear there are a lot of restrictions that aren't apparent at first, any tips?

Question

I am very interested in adopting over sees. I have been to many romanian orphanages traveling with my mother at a young age, and seeeing all the beautiful un wanted children broke my heart. I knew since I was five years old that I did nt want to conceive my own child but adopt a child that was already in the world. I always knew my goal in life was to a take in a child and love it unconditionally. I can't wait to partake in such a learning and rewarding experience!

Answer 1

definitely do the research!  research the adoption agency, ask as many questions about the children they have ... history, medical history, where the child grew up, how long have they had them, etc, etc ... get as much info as you can.  but first research the adoption agency.  that's most important, and medical history, especially over seas.

Answer 2

Visit the US Dept. of State website.  They have up-to-date info. on adoption criteria/procedures/costs for all countries that allow adoptions to the US.

Best Wishes.

Answer 3

Each country has their own requirements, so although you may not qualify for one country, you will likely qualify for several more. A lot or the requirements have to do with age, length of marriage, and in some cases weight and and psychological treatments.We adopted both of our kids from Korea, and had a wonderful experience. I'd suggest going to the website for Holt International. The have a good section under "country criteria" that shows the different reqirements for each country.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

A friend of mine went through Little Miracles International Adoption and they took care of everything.  Unfortunately that's about all the help I can give you.

Answer 5

A homestudy often has a lot of details in it that you might not think of.  They'll give you a list of what you need to do, but it will include things like locking up all medicines, cleaning supplies, knives, and scissors; installing doors on your fireplace; removing or fencing off any poisonous plants (such as the very common plant oleander) in your yard.  If you have a pool, it will have to be properly fenced, and "properly" is pretty narrowly defined; you'll also have to take a water safety class.  You'll have to write an autobiography, answer a lot of personal questions, and have your fingerprints checked for criminal background.  It's all very inconvenient and time-consuming, and without a doubt it's WORTH IT.

Answer 6

Check with your local county social services adoption agency.  There are so many kids waiting and if you want an infant, you can foster to adopt which is what we did.  Ours was a complete success.  We adopted an abandoned at birth baby boy.  We received him at 7 weeks old.  There are a lot of studies, classes and lots of paperwork involved but it's absolutely worth it.  Plus, more on the upside, the county pays you subsidies, WIC for formulas, juices and cereals until he is adopted and the baby will receive medicare until he is 18 years old.  We didn't pay anything for the home studies, classes, his food and his clothing and diapers came from the monthly subsidies we received.  Of course, we paid for other things like funiture, excess clothing, etc.  But or family even threw us another baby shower just for our little boy.  We have biological kids of our own.  We had lots of support.

Please, check with the county before committing to an adoption or international adoption agency.  The price tag for those adoptions can re over $50,000.  Believe me, we looked into that before we went the county route.  We couldn't be happier!  Good luck and God bless.

Answer 7

I am not sure what you mean by restrictions?

It sounds as if you have your heart set on Romania. With most of the Eastern European countries there is a set of criteria you have to meet. There is a lot of corruption involved with the Eastern European orphanage system (and getting that way with Columbia and Guatamala too). You may have an identified child and think everything is going as planned. Then your facilitator will call and says, "We have run into this problem but it can be taken care of for $1200.00." You send the $1200 and a month later We have run into this problem but for $700 we can take care of it for you. and the blood sucking continues until you either come home with your child/children (spending more and more each time they call and even after you are in the country to process the adoption)or you give up.

Most countries are very up front with their requirements and fees.

Adoption is a wonderful way of expanding your family but you need to go into it with your eyes wide open. Learn as much as you can about attachment and bonding. This is an area most people should spend more time investigating. Imagine the worst case scenario and decide whether you can commit. Plan for the worst and hope for the best and use a parenting style that promotes attachment. Most children in ophanages that are under staffed do not believe that adults can or will meet their needs. The become controling and manipulative. If the child has been in a great foster home, the child will greive for the loss of their foster family. They cannot communcate with you which all leads to great amounts of frustration which manifests itself as behavior issues.

Don't get me wrong. I have adopted and even though we have gone through h**l, we are now in a great place thanks to attachment parenting. It took three years but the first year and a half I did not know what it was and tried "traditional parenting techniques (they don't work). Not all children will come home from a foreign orphanage and have major issues. I suggest people prepare for the worst and hope for the best.  

Do your research on the country. The US requirements are the same no matter what foreign country you adopt from. It is the country requirements that may change along the way.

Good Luck! Any agency that works with the country you decide to go with can tell you the specifics. Also you might want to consider an agency that works with different countries and have a first choice, second choice picked out. This will allow you to switch countries within the agency for usually no additional fees. You will need to get your homestudy updated for that country which will cost you several hundred dollars. That is much better than several thousand dollars lost and having to change agencies and loose everything you have paid them.