I am scared so so so scared?

Question

my fiance passed away on the 6th, we were gonna get married on the 10th (am 20 and he's 21) he was so jealous when i talk about other guys and stuff.......do u think if i ever love someone else his spirit would be jealous or happy. and i know he is waiting for me in heaven.......and when i look into a car i see him wheni look at a guy i see his face i can't even think about another guy....do u think it's gonna change and would i be able to love someone else like that cus josh was my first love.....when i look into my future i see a lonely scary life am scared of darkness am scared of live

http://www.myspace.com/nithya20 i was the happiest girl alive

Answer 1

I am so very sorry for you loss. I went to your myspace. Boy you can tell you were truly in love with this young man. It is gonna take you a longtime to get over this, but in time it will get easier and easier to get thru each day. Yes you will probably fall in love again, but I am sure there will always be a special place in your heart for Josh. This is a given.

To lose someone at any age is a hard thing. I have lost in the past and yes it does get a little easier each day to cope.

Thru the Grace of God you will get thru. Continue to pray for God's strength. I wish you the best.

You said you are a Christian- Well it talks in the Bible about when you pass on your Spirit goes to heaven. Now once you are in heaven you have no memories or anything of this earth we live on. If you did there would be sorrow and pain and in heaven there is none of that. It doesn't matter what is going on in this earth to those that have passed on. They are in a better place and that is where it all gets left. You will be able to move forward in your life. Just give it some time. It is too soon.

Answer 2

well dont go to him he could stir up troublr and im sorry your fiance.

Answer 3

Stop fretting.

Everything works out when we get there.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Take comfort in the old adage,

"When one door closes, another door opens."

Answer 4

Awww. No, I don't believe his spirit is even on earth anymore after someone dies. It is in heaven. Also, the only way you will get over him is by turning to God/Jesus and then God will bring you the right person in time. You don't need to worry! I'm so sorry for your loss though. :(

Answer 5

Time heals most (not all) wounds ~ you just lost the love of your life. Give yourself some time. If you continue to have these fears & see him in everything everywhere you should go talk to a grief counselor to help you past this difficult situation.

Answer 6

Sorry to hear about your fiance.  

It is very early days. You're bound to feel terrible and have all sorts of upsetting thoughts and feelings.  It's just a matter of time though I think.  Give it months, perhaps even years and things will get better.

My Mum lost my Dad two years ago and they'd been married for 40 years.  She still misses him now, but she's got used to him not being around anymore.  Whenever we go away somewhere new, she says she feels like he's still there, with her in spirit, so perhaps you'll always feel your fiance there, but I doubt you'd feel animosity from him.  You're young, he wouldn't expect you to stay alone for ever.

Answer 7

I am sorry about your loss, and I know people have probably given you lots of advice lately.  I do know that with time, your heart will heal.  You will think of him but not constantly like you do now.  It is totally normal for you

not to want another guy right now, it's way too soon.  Give yourself some time to heal and adjust to your new life without him.  You have some wonderful memories, I'm sure.  Don't let the memories of him being so jealous keep you from being happy.  If you are meant to meet someone else, it will just happen. You can't feel guilty about it once you do.  You deserve to be happy and if your fiance loved you, he would want you to be happy.

Answer 8

i think right now you are just very upset and rightfully so. don't even think about other men yet, you need all the time in the world to grieve over your loss. i am so sorry you have to go through this.

after time passes you will feel better and be able to open yourself up to love again.

i do not believe that he would be angry or jealous. when someone goes to heaven it is about love and he would want you to be happy.

it is all probably really sinking in now and you are feeling scared. the best thing to do is let out all your anger and frustrations and sadness. there is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist either, especially in a time like this. most insurances cover office visits.

you will probably feel this way for a while and that is ok. it will get better though.

Answer 9

he just died and you are already thinking about being with someone else?????

Answer 10

i just looked at your profile i am so sorry for your loss ...you sound like a very nice person and i dont think you will be alone and have a scary life ....time...you need time..i wish you the best.

Answer 11

It is perfectly normal for you to not be able to think or even look at other guys. My husband (and first love) has been to Iraq and Afghanistan and I was scared to death and even had dreams where he died and I would go to school and not even be able to talk to other guys knowing that they were still alive (my husband didn't die though). I know that if he did die, I wouldn't be able to date for years, if ever again.

I don't think that if you find another man your husband will be in heaven acting jealous. I think that when we go to heaven we are filled with a permanent love, and he will love you no matter what (and I do think he is waiting for you in heaven with a smile on your face.) He might even see you now and will help you along by introducing other men into your life.

My mom's friend Muggs died of cancer and her husband Val was completely devastated, but a few years later Val married one of Muggs' best friends who has been single her entire life. My mom strongly believes that it was Muggs who facilitated that relationship between her friend and her husband, so that both of them could be happy again.

I think eventually you will start to heal and you will be able to see other guys. It could be 1 year, it could be 10, but it won't be until you are ready

Answer 12

I believe your fiancee will be happy to see you fall in love again when the time comes.  Right now I think you need to focus with dealing with your grief everybody deals with their sadness differently.   Every love is different when the time comes you will fall in love again, it will be different, and it will be wonderful.  Hang tough and cry it does wonders for the soul.

Answer 13

I am very sorry to hear of his passing. Im sure you will get over him and he will want you to move on with your life.

PS : this has nothing to do with parenting