I am scared to be a parent

Question

ok heres my story in a nut shell. i had twins and they passed away. now after having 4 foster kids we are adopting them. 3,6,8,9. i had my guard up for a long time because you never really know for sure if they will be sent away. now the adoption is going through in about 2 weeks. i suddenly realized i am going to be a MOM. i am so scared and now my love for them is overwhelming me. i know how wonderful it is to be a parent, but i am scared, what if they die, what if they get hurt. maybe i am scared to love someone so much. i hope i dont

sound crazy, i am not. has anyone else felt this before, how can i just

relax love my kids and live day to day. please be kind and dont say well dont adopt them then thank you

Answer 1

Every parent has worries believe me. You are doing an amazing thing, you're giving these kids a place to be kids and someone to love them. Don't worry so much about what might happen just do your best to care for them.

YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT!!

Answer 2

yup your normal ;)

The past is history

tomorrow is a mystery

Today is a gift and thats why they call it the present

No one is guarenteed tomorrow, you with the rest of us and I would bet that if anything happened to them before they were adopted, the feelings would be the same.

You were already a mom just without the title and KUDOS to you for being a great person and giving them love regardless of title.

I feel the same frightening thoughts with all my loved ones just try to appreciate all your loved ones daily, the what ifs are always going to be there.

Answer 3

i cant say much because ive never been in that situation but all i know is that no matter how long you had your twins i bet if it was just for a day or a year if you had a chance to do it again i bet you would because i know for alot of parents that have lost there children the memory of them is better then anything in the world...and you have a chance to have something like that again...you have a chance to have 4 wonderful children in your life and youre gonna create your own memories with them...memories that you would never give up for the world....so ever parent takes that risk...and every parent is scared...it just depends on if youre up for the challange...

Answer 4

Hun you are giving these children a life, something to be proud off. You cant worry about then dying. We all as parents have them worries, but we cant let it reflect on us as a person :)

Answer 5

wow. it sounds like you have had some crazy adventure! in my opinion, you are already a mom becuz you have been taking care of these children. its just going to be legal  now. dont worry so much. they wont die, and as long as you dont let them run in front of a car, i am pretty sure they wont get hurt. but you also gotta keep balanced. dont be overprotected becuz later they will just wanna get in trouble.

you will be fine!! just teach them good morals, how to be safe, and how to love,  and you will be ok!

CONGRATULATIONS!

Answer 6

Hi

You sound really normal and kind, good luck.

You need to talk to someone who can help you come to terms with your loss before you will ever be able to move on.

BUT DONT FORGET YOU ARE NORMAL, your grief and worries are the same as would invade anyone so dont loose your confidence, just get some help.

Answer 7

being a reall mom or dad means being afraid for them or worrying about them you just need to know how to temper it put things in perspective they are going to get hurt no matter what you do but as long as your there to pick them back up and give there owies kisses all better then thats really all you can do keep them safe but dont smother them and everything will be fine  

Answer 8

I think you are having very normal and healthy feelings about this. It's normal to be scared and worried about the people you love the most. It's ok, and if they were to die or something else horrible happen (which I doubt will happen), remember its not your fault, God is in control of our lives and you are blessed to have been given this opportunity!

Be strong and know that things will be OK!

Best of luck and I have lots of respect for you in your decision to adopt children!

Answer 9

I haven't talked to a mother ever that was totally prepared to be a parent.  

Funny story.  The day I went home from the hospital with my daughter (she's now four...and in her first week of school! :(( *crycry*) I'll never forget getting her buckled into the car seat.  The whole time I'm thinking to myself "these people are sending this tiny little bundle of joy home with ME to take care of her!  Have they lost their mind!?"  Needless to say, 4 years later, lots of tears and smiles later...I still look around and wonder how I do what I do.  Things will fall into place!  You've been given the opportunity of a life time.  Remember family and friends are the BEST and always always ASK for help. They are only a phone call away.  

As far as something happening to them:  remember that everything in this world happens for a reason.  The chances of something happening to them is slim to none!  You'll do great.  

Remember, you've been blessed beyond belief and feeling like you're feeling is perfectly normal.  It just means ya love um ;)

Kudos to you for stepping up to the plate to raise them when their biological family wasn't able to or chose not to.

Answer 10

that how my parents feel too , scared

that how i learned to do my best since they can overcome it so can i

Answer 11

WOW! I feel exactly the same as you! Im a very young mother to a 9 1/2 month old boy i love him so much im afraid of loosing him and my husband. Everytime we go out i pray that God keeps us safe i feel scared to love another child and then loose them. Ive actually thought of not having another child because im afraid to love someone else so much and them loose them. But how would my life be without love and my loved ones? How am i making my life if im always thinking negative? MISERABLE. Even though i dont like to accept that life goes on after loosing someone or after being cheated on or backstabbed but it does. If you always live your life in fear and negative thought you wont accomplish as much as you possibly can. I hope i have made sence and my point is to adpot them! Imagine how you're going to feel if you loose them whether physically or emotionally you're going to think i had the chance to be their mother whether it was for 5 weeks or 50 years and i didnt take that chance. GOOD LUCK!!