I am scared to let my children sleep in their own room. I need help, they co-sleep with me and my husband.?

Question

My daughter is almost 3 and sleeps next to me, but my son is almost 2 and sleeps in the playpen in our room and we have another baby on the way. I am ok with them in there most of the time but my husband is totally against it all. I am afraid something will happen to them if I let them leave my room.

Answer 1

What do you think is going to happen? They cant sleep in there anymore, your going to drive your husband away.

Answer 2

It might help for you to speak with a therapist about your attachment issues.  I am sure it's coming from a good place (wanting to love and protect your children), but you all need your own space. It's better for the children to take steps toward independence, and I am sure you and your husband need some alone time.

Answer 3

OMG get them in their own rooms!

Answer 4

You need to see someone about your fears.  You are unwittingly putting them onto your children.  The longer you wait, the harder it is going to be to get them into their own rooms.  Start now, before the baby comes.

Answer 5

You know, they're many different baby monitors that are inexpensive that you could buy. You can just hook them up in both your daughter and son's rooms so if something goes wrong, you'll know. I'm assuming that you live in a house so their bedrooms are close by.

Your husband must be upset because men need to be pleased sometimes, and it must be annoying to have these kids hear and you guys can't get the deed done. Also, he's trying to get them out of the habit. My parents allowed me to sleep in their room until I was about 11 even though they gave me two bedrooms and a basement apartment :@.

If you don't already live in a safe neighbourhood, convince your husband to move for the sake of safety. Maybe this is one of your major concerns.

If none of the above helps, then you should get some professional psychological help. Maybe it was from a personal experience or childhood experience that makes your afraid to leave your kids alone. It's a real bad habit to always be in your children's business. My parents are always in my 16-year-old brother's business and he finds it really irritating and it's causing him problems right now.

So, just let the kids sleep by their own for a few nights with the baby monitor and if you still feel uncomfortable,then get the professional help, my dear.

Answer 6

Are you generally a fearful person?  Please, consider this - your children will pick up on your fear, and it will shape who they become as adults.  Do you want your children to live in fear their whole lives?  I hope you can overcome this, for your sake and your kids'.

Consider planning the kids' bedrooms carefully so that, even if they were to get out of bed, there would be nothing that could hurt them.  This could include electrical cords and outlets, strings on blinds, lamps that can be pulled down, dressers that can topple over, etc.  Keep their rooms neat before bed, and leave some safe toys out to entertain them, in case they do decide to get out of  bed while you're sleeping.  Also, get a baby moniter so that you can hear any movement in the room.

If you are still afraid to the point where you feel it is affecting your life negatively, you might like to get some counselling.

Answer 7

Hun no offence intended but how on earth do you find the time to make another baby ...you need to sort this out very soon as you will make bigger problems for yourself in the future and it would be different if you just had the one child ..you and your hubby need a relationship as well how can you with soon to be three kids in your room !

Edit ....what will happen to them ?

They will be come independent children in the end and enjoy getting into their own bed and playing the 'their' room ...buy monitors for them

Answer 8

Just put them in their own room and GET OVER IT. Jeez Louise, stop being so paranoid. When is the last time you and your husband even had s*x? I feel sorry for him.....

Answer 9

co-sleeping is fantastic, i love it and so does my husband.  we put our son in his own bed and he stays there half the night and he comes into out room when he wakes.  

if your husband doesn't like it and you are doing it out of fear, i think you need to talk to a professional so you can get over your fears.

Answer 10

Co-sleeping is wonderful if everyone is doing it because they are happiest sleeping that way.  It sounds like you are doing it out of fear and that having them close to you eases your mind & helps you sleep.  And, I'm sure the kids are quite happy with the way things are.

But, your husband isn't happy co-sleeping - isn't getting a good night's sleep - isn't feeling respected & understood & fulfilled with things this way.

So, you've got to come up with a solution that leaves everyone feeling good & getting a good night's sleep.  And, to do that, it looks like you'll have to figure out a way to assuage your fears (you can't just ignore them, you have to resolve them), a way to teach the kids to love sleeping in their own beds, and a way to help your husband accept any compromise that may be necessary for everyone to be happy (maybe letting the kids come in if they wake in the night - or - having you lay beside the kids in their room, at bedtime, until they fall asleep).

To start on your fears, get a good 'baby monitor' & turn the volume up loud in your room.  Make sure you lock your doors & windows at night.  Double check the batteries in your smoke alarms.  Get the kids 'blanket sleeper' type pajamas, so you don't have to worry about them having blankets on their beds.  And, go easy on yourself - let yourself check them every time you wake up.  

For the kids, make it an adventure, if they're the kind of kids who love feeling independent & feeling like 'big kids'.  Otherwise, talk them through the empathetic reasons why they need to move to their own beds, since they are getting bigger and you & daddy need more space to sleep.  Let them be part of the planning, so that they can feel pride in the move & feel that things are fair for them.  Help them pick out a night light, come up with soothing things to help them sleep.

Answer 11

I know how it can be frignening, the idea of something happening to your child.  But this is really something you need to get over.    Your children need to devolp independence and gorw as people, and they can't do trhat if they are always attached to your apron strings.

So tell them that since they are so big and grown up now, they get to have their own room!  You can give them a night light and if you are really worried use a baby monitor for a little while.  

Good luck.

Answer 12

You need to let go and quit being over-protective. You should start putting them to bed now before the new baby comes, this is going to be a hard task for you I promise. The 2 and 3 year old are not going to go quietly. It is not healthy mentally for them to be sleeping in your bed once in a while is ok, like with a nightmare, but every night is bad. Once you finally get them in their own bed, you will realize they are ok. If it makes you feel better, check on them periodically and put a baby monitor in the room. If you are worried about S.I.D.S. don't. You have a better chance of rolling over on the baby when they are in bed with you, that is something I have heard of more than SIDS. ........................Relax.

Answer 13

I am surprised your not divorced.  Where in earth are you having time to get pregnant.

You need to seek counseling because your sweating the small stuff.  What happens when they go to school or want a sleep over with a friend.  You need to deal with whatever your psych issue.  Start having intimacy with your husband before he gets tired of all this and leaves you. Your kids are too old to be sleeping in the marital bedroom.

Answer 14

Letting them sleep in your room was the worst thing ever to do! Now that they have their own rooms they should be in them! Now that their use to it they might not want to leave. If i were your husband I would be mad also. this gives no time for you guys which sucks having your own private space in the bedroom is the only time you guys probably have together. Don't make the same mistake with this baby. They need to move into their rooms their big enough already and nothing I'm sure will happen to them if you want you still can purchase monitors for them in each room. They have them now that come with the digital screens instead of just hearing you can see them as if their still right there! Good luck!