I am seriously stuck! Please help!?

Question

Ok here's the deal. I have been with my bf for 5 yrs. We have a 3 yr old daughter, a house, and shared finances. So today, out of the blue he said he no longer wants to be with me. Which although sounds bad is not the real problem (I think we are over too). So here it goes: What do we do about the house ( We own the house, but we make payments to my parents because they originally paid for it). Also I have no job and no skills. (He worked and I did the mommy thing). I just need help. He thinks we could still live together... I could get a job, make half the payments, split parenting, and get separate rooms. I would just like to hear some opinions, maybe it happened to you. Anything is welcome.

Answer 1

i wish you can tell your experience to all young teenage girls indulging in s*x and stuff and not getting skills.. i think there is no point thinking any other option i think you must start finding the job and only then move...

Answer 2

My husband and I have never said it out loud but we are pretty much over, and are doing the same thing, your husband suggested, we have separate rooms, pay half the bills,and are raising our baby together.

I am going to give you advice i wish I could take, dont do it, dont settle for that type of relationship, you may feel it is best for the baby, but in the long run, it may not be. your child loves you, and would want you happy, wouldn't want to grow up knowing you have never had love in so many years just because you wanted to stay together for him. I know it will be scary, but you could do it separately, everything will work out!!! this is the time to have your family and friends help out until you get yourself on your feet, sell the house and pay your parents back, you and your hubby deserve happiness and love. and you can definitely be amazing parents separate, yet together!!!

Answer 3

It sounds like a nice plan but probably not a very smart one.  It's pretty hard to live under the same roof and share the same space while trying to move on with your life.  It would definitely cause problems and probably would not be a very nice environment for either of you as well as your daughter.  Just think of the problems it will create when one or both of you meet someone else and start dating!!  If your relationship is strong enough to endure challenges like that.......why not just give your relationship another go!

As far as if he left and what to do with the house.......too many missing details to really give a proper answer.  Whose name is the house in?.....your parents?  yours and his?   Who has been making the mortgage payments to your parents?  You?  Him?  Shared between the two of you?

If he has made the payments, by rights he should be entitled to get money out of the house when he leaves.  For example....if the house was worth $100,000 when you bought it and it is now worth $120,000, the profit earned during the time you were together is $20,000 and he should get half of that profit when he leaves.  It's not fair to him to walk out with nothing.......unless it's his choice to do that!

If he does leave, you could always stay in the house and get a couple of borders.  Their rent would probably cover most of the mortgage so you wouldn't have to work full time if you're wanting to be home with your baby.

There's really a lot of options open to you....it all depends on whether the relationship is ending on good terms or bad terms.