I am seventeen years old, and not allowed to have boys in my room?

Question

How can I get my mother to change this rule?

Most of my friends are boys, but I can't have them over because they can't go in my room and chill. Its driving me insane. I would leave the door open if she wanted, and its not like I'd have s*x with my parents home. I'm mature and responsible, and I haven't done anything to loose her trust. I've never even kissed a guy in her presence.

Answer 1

cant they come over and just hang out in the living room because the same rule applys for on of my friends and i would go over to her house all the time we just never go in her room, but there has been 1 or 2 times i hung out in her room but with the door open

Answer 2

Sit down with your mom and have a mature conversation with her and tell her that you will leave the door open at all times and she is welcome to check in at any moment. If she says no dont get upset with her just leave it at that. Then in a few days talk to her about it again but whatever you do dont get pissy and throw a fit and maybe if you talk to her about it enough she will eventually consider your offer.

Answer 3

Well, i don't know your mom on a personal note so i would sit down and talk to her and say mom these guys are my friends.  Let her know that you respect her concern of not having boys in your room but also let her know that you are not absent minded of what she has brought you up to be, a smart responsible adult.  If that doesnt work out try going into another room.

Answer 4

Hey I'm 18 and I can't have boys in my room and I consider it a blessing...

Answer 5

Frankly, it sounds like you can have boys over to your house, but just not privately in your room.  There's nothing really wrong or prude about that.  Why not enjoy having them over and hanging out on the patio, the living room, dining room, den, or the kitchen?

Even adults don't bring people to their private bedroom if they are only social guests in their home.  

For adults, we believe that if you bring someone into your bedroom, then you're inviting them into the deepest part of your life and the implication is that s*x would be acceptable at that point.

Answer 6

Tell me more... I'm 20-year-old and just because I'm disabled I have problems with convincing my mom to let me move to another city with a 9-year-older guy to study (and no, he is not a pervert).

Well... My way is to get back to the subject once in awhile until she is ready to listen to what I have to say.

Unfortunately some mothers are a bit blind treating their children as if they were actually kids all the time

Answer 7

I know how you feel...try to talk with her...as for the rest of the the boneheads who think you too young...dont you remember what its like to be 17?shes a year away from being an adult!OMG!!!

Answer 8

lol in her presence. i think as long as she's in the house somewhere, and the door is open, you should be allowed to have a guy in your room. but i've told so many people this.. when there are hormones flying everywhere.. don't put yourself in a situation where you are alone in a room with a guy.. i'm assuming if there's an adult in the house you won't try nething.. but just don't put yourself in a position where anything could happen.. thats all..

steph.

Answer 9

its just a rule, my moms the same way, imagine this, i have a BABY with a boy and he's not allowed to be in my room unless the baby is there with us and the door is open! hahah trust me, it can get worse!

Answer 10

When I was 15 I wasn't allowed to have boys in my room, even with the door open. But they did it for a reason, not that it helped. They didn't want me to get pregnant.

Answer 11

What, I'm 14 and my parents let me have both genders in my room, the way i told them is were not gonna have s*x and i told my mom I'm gonna be stupid like you got pregnant at age 15 and im not going to that to a girl that will mess up her life she wont become what she wants in life. Just tell your parents your mature enough .

Answer 12

You need to see it from her eyes too. Would you allow your daughter at 17 to be in her bedroom with a boy, alone?

No..

It's not about trust per say.. it's about you being a little girl to her and being alone with a boy period!

Find other places to chill, maybe that would be better.

Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 13

You can't.  She probably thinks its inappropriate and I agree with her.  Boys don't need to be in your bedroom even if there is no other place for you to hang out in your house.

Answer 14

So, your 17 and haven't done any thing the cause your parents not to trust you,Right? Have you ever thought that maybe, that's because the temptation to give them a reason isn't there. I think your parents are right. But, if you want her to change the rule. Just hurry.up and turn 18. Seriously, not worth sweating the days until then. P.S. You could just ask you mother, Not US. Good Luck!

Answer 15

Ask her specifically why she won't let you have them in your room, and what can be done to prove to her that you're responsible in her eyes.

Answer 16

Moms tend to overreact. Mine doesn't trust me with that same thing usually, even though I'm responsible about boys and controlling them AND myself.

Just continue showing how mature and responsible you are, she'll eventually realize you're not a little kid anymore and that you're almost an adult.

Answer 17

You can't have boys in your room because you are in your parents house. just follow the rules you are almost an adult who will be living on your own pretty soon. just don't rush it.  I went through the same thing with my mom but she was the woman of the house so just live with it.

Answer 18

Assuming the guy isn't a bf or anything; tell your mom that. Just explain to her that you want to show him something in your room and tell her you'll leave the door open. Assure her that you're responsible and that you wouldn't do anything to betray her trust.

Answer 19

You just haev to get your mom to trust you more is all I can think. When I was living at home my sis always had bfs living with us since she was 15, Im a year older. She could have them in there anytime..god they lived with us. But me no I was perfect seriously I got staright A's my paretns soo trusted me, but to me it was a no stay in the living room. I dont know some parents are just weird lol.

Answer 20

it's okay, i'm 17 also and my parents have this same rule.. haha. i usually just hang out with guys in the basement.

Answer 21

OK simple answer.......read your post......

"it's not like I'd have s*x with my parents home"........do you do it when they are gone???

"I've never kissed a guy in her presence".........but you do it when she's not around????

Not trying to be rude at all, but just pointing out some of the reasons she may not want you hanging out with boys in your room.

I don't think theres any age that a boy should go into your room until you are moved into your own home, or married would be even better!

Answer 22

ive never really brought a girl into my house when my parents are home cause they'll think we'll be banging each other but im indian and the whole family culture thing is diffrent from the regular western families, but if you want your friends over and chill in your room just talk to your parents about it be like you can check up on us every so often and ye leave the door open

Answer 23

ok, well r u in to any of these boys.

im 15, and my boo can come in my room, cause they really really like him, and we told them, we dont wanna have s*x til we get married, and we dont.  i know how u feel, but it sucks that us girls have little freedom and choice.

the sucky thing is he cant spend the night.

but talk 2 her and tell her ur 17 about 2 b 18, which means u will b an adult, and u r going 2 do that anyways once u have ur freedom. (but dont say that) lol.

me and him, have hugged, and kissed in front of everyone, we dont care about what people think, but she's being over protective, so tell her ur almost grown, and need 2 have more freedom.

good luck sweetie.

email me with the results.

Answer 24

its one year til you can move out and do what you want! just wait one more year, youve already waited 17, 1 isnt gonna kill ya

Answer 25

My question is, why can't you sit in the living room with your boys.  

It all boils down to privacy, you seek it, and your mother is denying it.  

Of course you are denying it too, once you realize why you want guys in your room vs. any other room then you will realize the problem and solution.

Answer 26

I didn't get married till I was 24 to a guy I dated since I was 16. He was never allowed in my room either. Be patient when you leave for college the only thing your mom can do is continue to give you advice it up to you what you do with it.  Thats if you leave home for college.

Good Luck!!

Answer 27

Sorry, it is their house, and that means their rules. Hang out in the basement, or the living room. If you want your own space and your own rules, you are going to have to get your own place.

Parents put rules in place to keep their kids safe.

Sorry!

oh - and PS - it IS ok for your parents to have that rule if you are 20, or 30 ... if you are living under their roof, it is THEIR rules!!!

Answer 28

You can't get her to change it.

Answer 29

I know how you feel and i felt the same when i was your age.

Thing is you got to understand it from your parents perspective and they are trying to accept your growing up.

Maybe you could have a talk with them about it and promise to leave the door open.

Answer 30

Perhaps your mother did stuff when she was 17. Why not just hang out in the living room?

Plus, what you just said was you never kissed a guy in her presence. Could it be that you are smart enough that you do stuff at other people's houses and she knows? What gives?

Answer 31

As a guy with an 11 year old daughter you'll have to trust me when I say your parents are right.  No matter what you think of your 'friends' at least one of them wants more (and probably more do).  Respect your parents wishes, you only have a year to go and you can get yourself into all the trouble you want when you are out on your own.