I am so confused.......?

Question

this is a little embarrassing but here i go: I have always been interested in women, I am 14 a guy and live in Britain but as of lately i have been asking myself "am i homosexual?" and am hoping i am not. is this normal for a 14 year old boy to be asking themselves?

Answer 1

I think it is!

when I was 13 I looked at some magazines with men with no shirts on. and for the longest time I could not look at anything also, and it worried me just like you.

ask your self this, is the reason you look at pic's of other people of the same s*x as you, because you would like to look as good as they do or do you git turned on (sexually) by them and wont them to hold you close?

you will ask your self a lot of questions now that you are a teen. with some that are as confusing as this. I now I did!  try not to worry about it and just be your self. the rest will take care of it's self.

Answer 2

yes its normal i suppose, 10% of ppl in your class are gonna be homersexual beleive it or not, so if youve got 30 people in your class three will be homersexual, so yes i do beleive its normal.

Answer 3

I think it is. You're just beginning to feel your way around high school and sometimes this may cross your mind, but if you don't want to have s*x with other boys then you're still straight.

Don't let being g*y ruin your life if you find later on that you are. It's NOT fun.

Answer 4

When I was 7 I used to dress up in my sisters clothes, as a teenager I also used to wonder about being with another boy. As I became older and with the power of the internet I realised I wasn't a freak, many people do many different things and live their lives how they want to live it. Being straight, g*y or bisexual isn't a disease! it is a way of life you are given based upon how you are made. There is no right or wrong here, it is all about you and your feelings. I grew up to be a very happy person once I could understand my feelings. I now do exactly what I want and don't care what other people think. The world is fast becoming a more accepting place to be.

What you feel is totally normal, you may even find that it is just a curious phase, but if not just go with it and enjoy being you!

Answer 5

yes totally noraml!

Answer 6

yes, everyone goes through a stage where they're unsure about there sexuality.... don't worry about it, it's perfectly normal

Answer 7

Yeah it is normal but no one will admit it. And so what if you are g*y. That is normal too.

Answer 8

Normal is an odd word, but generally, ALL boys will look at other guys at some point during puberty...they'll ask themselves this same question. The majority are straight...the minority who are genuinely "g*y" probably knew this fact many years earlier. Your interest in girls shows you to be most likely a "straight" lad!

Answer 9

OMG this is SOOOOO normal! every guy goes through it weither they want to admit it or not!

if ur g*y u will know it... and if ur not g*y, then thats ok...  

Answer 10

Oh yeah .. Almost every guy goes through the same thing.. Most just don't talk about it or pursue it .. You know what they say, everyone has a little homo in them.

Answer 11

Bit of advice. Forget labels. Your what you are don't worry about it just enjoy life do what you wish to do but do not harm anyone

Answer 12

try to go out with other homosexuals to see you like them? if you are still into women too, that means you are bisexual.

Answer 13

Yea I think there's a certain amount of confusion as to your sexuality when you're a teenager, you're probably a little uncertain as to who you really are. Think it's quite natural to experiment. It's been made worse now because homosexuality is no  longer taboo or stigmatized so maybe you think you've got more of a choice.

Think if you've always been interested in women, you're probably heterosexual. But don't think sexuality is as black and white as we like to think it is, for any of us.

Answer 14

Yes it is normal you are just trying to find yourself right now. =)

Answer 15

dude at 14 your probibly BI curious which a lot of dudes are like that and maybe if you do have an encounter with a nother dude you will not like it. dude be whomever your going to be happy being. if your not then your not if you are then you are.

curtdude

Answer 16

Dear Jason:

I fully understand your confusion and fear. These are two very powerful forces that have come together to cause what is known as emasculation trauma. It is a fear that if you are g*y, you won't measure up to the male standard and will cause rejection by peers and others. This fear is quite real and in saying "I hope not" confirms this.

The feelings that you are presently experiencing does not mean you are homosexual. All human beings need to feel a connection to their parents. We get certain emotional aspects of our personalities from our mother and some from our father.

I would need to know a great deal more about your human condition to make a more definitive assessment but we will "wing it" with what you have written thus far.

If in fact your relationship with your father is distant or lacking in connection that you need, this will play itself out in your psyche by an attraction to other males that you admire, respect or you feel are somehow "better" than you are. The actual desire within you is one of "connection". If you see another boy that is happy, has it all together, and seemingly has the world by the tail as they say, you will be attracted to him. This is where your confusion comes in.

It appears to me from your writing that you have a low self esteem which is brought about by this lack of connection. The connection itself is necessary in order to give you a better sense of "acceptance and belonging." If you father is emotionally distant from you this will cause the lack.

You then in turn seek out that connection with other males and thus the "confusion." Human beings need to be loved and to feel love. If this is lacking, then one will by nature seek it out in order to give us a feeling of safety, acceptance, and meaning.

In Britain, it is quite common for homosexual activity to occur, this is one of the biggest reasons in a country with patriarchal societal norms to create "boys schools".  If you have a low self esteem, then connections with the opposite s*x will be hindered. If you are in this trap and feel more comfortable around boys, you will in fact project feelings brought about by this aforementioned lacking towards those you feel more comfortable being around.

At the age of 14 your hormones are raging and the biological response from your body is to experience the physical pleasure of s*x while encouraging the emotional aspects of your nature to be fulfilled as well.

Your frontal lobe (brain) is the seat of reason and personality. It will continue to develop until you are in your early 20's. Please don't be too hard on yourself and seek out those things will build self esteem. Express your feelings of "distance" with your parents. Let them know that you are not blaming anyone but are seeking a closer relationship with them. I'm hopeful they will respond positively and help you in this manner.

Realize you are an amazing human being and you have talents and abilities that you can share with your peers and the rest of the world. Don't give up on yourself and allow yourself to become the best person you can be. If you discover in fact you are g*y, this does not diminish in any way, the wonderful loving human being you are.

I hope this has helped....feel free to write to me directly.

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