I am so depressed, and husband is tired of it

Question

I don't want to do anything, go anywhere - I'm on the verge of tears constantly, I actually told my husband yesterday I wasn't feeling well and went straight to bed when I came home from work and cried for like an hour - this has been on and off for 10 years, and my husband is tired of it, told me it's very draining, etc. I don't think I love him anymore but we have kids, and he actually told me he'd be very vindictive if we separated - I'm supposed to go out with girlfriends on Saturday, and I'm just not in the mood, I feel like it's too much effort to put on my 'happy face'. I was at a girlfriend's house in a group get-together for a couple of hours last week, and she e-mailed me the next day asking what was wrong, and telling me not to lie because she knows it's something...I'm just SO depressed. I see a counselor who is very nice, but I feel like I'm just complaining about my week every time I see her, venting a bit, and then it's back to the real world. I feel like I have to fake it at home between my kids, and my stupid husband telling me he's tired of my 'moods' and I'm constantly sick to my stomach. I was taking Sarafem for a while but I don't want to take meds, too many side effects (libido, which I have none anyway to begin with, etc.). I know excercise is good, positive thinking, etc...I know what you're SUPPOSED to do, but I don't have the desire or the drive to do it...any suggestions?

Answer 1

I take Celexa which is a very low dosage anti depressant...ask for that. I haven't had any side effects, only good things. I can still have regular s*x and enjoy it too. You can start with like 10 mg if you would like. I tried fighting depression on my own for year and finally gave in to meds...trust me it's worth to get that little push of help...keep your head up and don't give up :)

Answer 2

The first thing you need to do is figure out why your s*x drive is low and try to help get it back.  I was in your situation and it's not fun without being horny and feeling in the mood when needed.  I also felt like my orgasms (if I would even get one) were really weak.  Probably because of my s*x drive.

However, I tried exercising and dieting but nothing seemed to be working.  I thought I was screwed.  I then found something just as amazing as the vibrator.

My friend at work told me about this stuff she took to raise her s*x drive.  It was a natural herbal supplement and was I lucky to of found it.  Theres no side effects and the s*x drive is just tremendous along with orgasms that are blasting.  The stuff is called Hersolution pills.  At the time I saved money on them at herenhancement.com

What I did was tried out for 3 months and that was really it.  I found taking them every other day or so was the best to stretch it out. After the months were up, I was back to normal with a beating s*x drive and my o****m strength in increased so much.  

Well good luck and I hope this helps.

Answer 3

well if you don;t want to loose your husband..

i would suggest actually getting out and exercising, you are going to need to pull yourself out of this and stop waiting for something to happen.

Find meds that work for you without side effects, eat a balanced diet, do not get too much sleep, don;t sleep at odd times of the day, begin some hobbies (preferably centered around friends and exercise) and start it now.

Otherwise stop complaining.

But really you need to suck it up for the sake of your kids.. depression is hard, but you already know the things that will help to ease it, so just do em.

Answer 4

Maybe a different counselor, I don't think you have found what works for you. It also doesn't sound like your husband is root of your problems. Maybe a different med but don't quit and keep trying.

Answer 5

As I was reading your question some statements stood out, like "he's tired of my moods", "he'd be very vindictive if we separated" and "it's draining" (for him I'm sure). You say you are seeing a counselor, but it sounds like you are not making any progress with this. Speaking from experience (I suffered from depression myself for years), I suggest finding a different counselor, a full physical exam and a doctor who regulate your meds.  As for the husband, s***w him, you take care of you and if a separation is what you need to live a better life, go for it. This is your life you are talking about and you need all the support you can get while you are battling this illness, not condemnation. God bless you and good luck to you. Remember, you are not alone out there.

Answer 6

I'm going to say something very simplistic and a lot of people are going to become furious because of how simple it is but here's the solution: change your diet.

http://www.radiantrecovery.com/index.htm...

Answer 7

Do what you are suposed to do anyway. In depression nobody wants to do those things, you  may need to consider some different meds. Ten years is a very long time to be sad. You may want to thank God your hubby hasn't just left, it is very hard to live wth a depressed person. I think he must love you a lot more than you can imagine or deal with right now.

Bottem line in depression is get busy living or get busy dying.... no matter how much they stink they really are the only two choices.

You can see how much fun your having now..do it for yourself.. get busy living.

Answer 8

Sorry. If you're that depressed, it's time for another medication. Go to a real psychiatrist in your area. Depression is serious stuff. It can rob you of your life, either suddenly or gradually. Nobody wants to be on medication, including me. But there are answers that can give you minimal side effects and get you back to the way things were.

If somebody gave you sarafem, it was probably not a good shrink.

Answer 9

please dont take this the wrng way but its time to see a doc about this and prolly get some meds to help.  If you wont do it for you then do it for your kids!!!  

Answer 10

My mother is like that. She is constantly telling me she is depressed. I have realized that I cannot make her happy, only she can make herself happy, and to be happy you have to want it. Maybe it's your husband that is making you feel like this. Since you don't love him anymore, constantly pretending to love him, and to be happy can just add to the miserable lifestyle. Even if he was to be vindictive, you cannot afford to live like that anymore. Unless you have done something completely horrible, the mother is usually to get soul custody. If you continue this, suicide thoughts may be possible.

Divorce is the best answer. I'm very sorry. Jesus loves you :]

Answer 11

You and your husband need to both set a time to close your eyes and pray to the One who redeemed and sanctified you both.

Answer 12

Honestly the best answer I can tell you, which most people don't ever want to hear. But I would pray. Seriously, I have gone through some pretty depressing times and praying helped soo much. I wouldn't consider myself very spiritual. Also, another really hard thing for me at least...is to read the bible. I'm really trying to do it more often, cause even if i dont understand it, it helps me through the day. I hope you take this advice, good luck.

Answer 13

I was depressed for years, sometimes for no reason at all. I decided that since I had insurance, I would go see a psychiatrist, because even though I was working things out in therapy, my depression did not lessen.

I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with clinical, biochemical depression. After trying several medications, I am now on Lexapro, which has lightened my world a lot. It is never going to be a perfect world, but having a biochemical depression doesn't help anything. You may want to try this. When you are as depressed as you seem to be, the family doctor isn't really good enough to prescribe what you need.

If your decision is not to take meds, then all of these other things (Exercise, friends, therapist)  probably won't help much if your depression has to do with brain chemical issues. There are a million different kinds of anti-depression meds, so try a few different ones out. Lexapro does not seem to affect my libido or my weight.  

Answer 14

I agree, Celexa is the best anti depressant for women. You will see a change, go talk to your doctor and get a prescription, it works!

Answer 15

You are in company,Ive been in a right state.Really moody so I took a tranquilliser,then I felt sort of ok(Bad habit).Stressed to eat it was making me feel sick.I forced myself to have breakfast this morning,starting to feel ok today.

Answer 16

There are a couple of things that I can recommend.  First of all, go on a new medication.  Celexa is good, but there are others as well.  Your doctor should be able to work with you to find the right medication and monitor your progress.

Second, depression doesn't only affect the individual, it affects your entire family.  Your husband needs to become more educated in order to support you better.  There are plenty of support groups out there, and if he doesn't want to do that I think that therapy with both of you would be a good option.  You said you don't think you love him, but you could just be feeling that way because of the state you are in.

I have attached a couple links which you may find useful.  Remember that it will get better and you will be happy again!

Good luck!

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depressi...

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServ...