I am so desperate?????

Question

i am so desperate to have another baby. my husband and i are both 22 and have a son that is 2 1/2. i thought i ha "baby fever" but its been over a year and the desire for another child and another pregnancy is overwhelming. just to get it out of the way, i am a stay at home mom and my husband works, we make well over $50,000/yr.

anyway, i dont know what to do. my husband really doesnt want another baby right now and wants to wait a year or so. i dont think i can. i even find myself playing with baby dolls pretending that they are a real baby. sorry if i sound like a complete loser, i am just so desperate. my sister in law had her first child on sunday and of course, i started crying in front of everyone and had to walk out of the room.

is there anyone else who is this desperate to have a child? if so, what do you do that makes you feel better? its all i can think about!

Answer 1

You should enjoy the time you have with your son, he'll be in school before you know it and you'll wonder where the time went.  When the time is right you'll have another.  Be grateful that you have a child because there are people out there that cannot.  I'm 23 and my husband is 27 and we've been trying about 3 years now and have told we need to do IVF to conceive, so we'd he happy with 1.  Just count your blessings have some patience.  

Answer 2

you invest all your time and energy into the child you already have,and be the best mother you can be...you may subconsciously be taking away from your toddler by investing all your time into this desire for a newborn.

Answer 3

this can be quiet common in women and ur not alone, i suggest talking to the doctor as it can be part of postnatal depression. not suggsting u have it but u can still develop it years after birth

Answer 4

i feel ya! i just give everything i have to my son. its hard no to think about another baby when the one you have is growing up!

Answer 5

concentrate on the little baby you have already and realise how lucky you are to have one, some people cant even have one, the time will come to have another, until then have fun with your little one :D xx

Answer 6

I am just as desperate, but unfortunately I'm in no position to have children right now. I have dreams about having babies all the time, I am mesmerized by babies I see around town, it's horrible. There's really nothing I can do to feel better though.

You really need to talk to your husband, because him standing in the way from you having a baby could cause a rift between you. I mean, what is he waiting for? Most siblings are about 2 years apart, so it seems like an ideal time for another baby to me. Try to compromise with him about it.

Answer 7

sounds mean but...

trick your husband?

take a little needle and punch

a hole in the condoms?

Answer 8

Having a baby means responsibility, a baby is not a doll. You have to consider if its a financial stretch with a new mouth to feed.  Being a parent is a heavy responsibility and being selfless, you shouldn't be having a baby for your own selfish reasons.

Answer 9

I have baby fever too. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 3 months. I hope we did it this time. A year is not that long. Tell him if you start trying now, it will be almost a year until the baby comes. Best wishes.

Answer 10

Did you hear about the train wreck in India? Heard it killed thousands and left hundreds with devastating injuries.

Answer 11

maybe a social worker can help you with your concerns

Answer 12

I totally know what you mean! I went through the same thing with my husband, although I was hoping to have a baby even before we got married, like a month after I met the man! haha.  He did too, but we are older than you, so we got down to business right away after we got married, except it took 11 months!  I got so desperate, I thought about fertility treatments and everything, and sitting in church used to make me just cry.  Finally I started trying to be grateful for what I had right then, before a baby would come.  We go out and take our dogs for a walk whenever, we went to restaurants whenever, or did whatever spontaneously, never mind sleeping in.  My best friend told me that I should be "grateful for the things I would not have if what I wanted had already come to pass".  That really changed my outlook.  I really started feeling grateful for sleeping in and spending some extra money on myself.  I started thinking about taking yoga, painting, and maybe breeding our two american bulldogs.  I no sooner had those thoughts then BANG... I was pregnant!  But my point is, let your husband know it's important to you, and then do some great things for yourself that you couldn't do if you had a new born (like some new cute clothes that show off your post baby figure!)

Answer 13

Train wreck and a social worker?? WTF??

Hunny don't worry. I'm 35 weeks pregnant and I got the baby blues too. I'm already wanted to get ready for another one. Just talk to your husband... If he wants to wait a year till him 9 month is ALMOST year till the baby gets here! :)

Good luck!  

Answer 14

I was like that but I ended up getting pregnant by accident I was so happy he dosent want a bunch of kids but because im the one changing dipers he seems to give in its normale to want kids your a loving mother its just natural to want to have kids and love them sit your hubby down and tell him you want a kid other wise dont give him any till he does good luck  

Answer 15

Well, while I can't fully understand how you feel, I do empathize with you.  The desire for a baby can be monumental and overwhelming!  But, I think you don't give yourself enough credit.  Of course you can wait another year to have a baby!  It doesn't sound to me like you're willing to leave your husband if he doesn't agree to have another one right away.  and the good thing is that your husband didn't say NO...he said just to wait.  

Since he's the one that is working, it's a good sign he's just being practical (which I know we sometimes don't want from our DH's!), but it's good that one of you has finances in mind, as well.  So in a year or so...when your son is 3, broach the subject again with your hubby.  I'm sure he'll be open to hear about it.  I just wouldn't insist on doing it NOW...or, God forbid, trick him, because he'll end up resenting you.  Nobody likes to be forced into something they don't feel ready for.

But for the time being...when that overwhelming feeling of wanting a newborn hits...focus on your adorable little boy!  =) Play with him and take joy in how he can play back with you right now!  This isn't to say that you're a bad mother at all and shame on the people that get on this forum just to ridicule others.  It just sounds to me like that feeling can hit hardest when your son's not around which is what prompts you to hold the dolls.  So, again...focus on your son.  I'm sure you're doing a great job with him and when the time comes, you'll do a great job with your second child, as well.

Anyway, good luck with your situation.  I hope you find a resolution soon.  =)