I am so devastated... Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaad?

Question

Hello all,

I am in my mid twenties, beautiful with some minus points of course:), and so miserable. I cannot figure out why at this age, I just cannot find love. I am so alone. What happens to me generally is that I attract jerks, and the men I like they do not care for me or they care then nothing develops or happens!! I find myself developing a complex, because I am tired of my life and myself. I see girls, not beauties even, happy and smiling, but why I cannot? I tried the internet as a way out to no avail. I met nice men twice but it failed, because they just disappeared!!! How can I go on like this? Please help me, cos am so tired. Thanks

Answer 1

It's time for an attitude adjustment.  You are projecting an image that keeps attracting the losers and pushing the good guys away.  I believe you could benefit with a visit with a therapist, after a few sessions she will be able to help you portraying yourself in more of a positive image.  I would have never turned out to be the person I am today without getting some help, I think it would help you also.  Good luck.

Answer 2

I always went for the bad boys with an attitude thinking I could change them and make life better for them.  Go for a yuppie with acne and they will treat you like the queen you are.  Good Luck..

Answer 3

You don't really give us any info to work with. You should look back at your relationship and figure out common reasons why they didn't work out. There should be some pattern of behavior, maybe issues or you have hard time finding a man to meet your expectations and you sabotage your relationship. Or maybe you are concentrating too much on finding that perfect person and you should relax and focus on something else and when you don't expect you'll meet somebody. It happens very often, it happened that way to me when I least expected it.

Answer 4

I’m sorry you’re feeling blue these days, it happens to everyone at some point. When I was younger I thought that very pretty/handsome people had an easy time with things in life. People treated them differently and they got a lot of attention. And it is true, beautiful people are easier to like at first. I was the home coming king and a big sports guy in high school and college, life was good. Now I’m in my 40’s and divorced with two great kids and just now starting to figure out what life is all about and how to find happiness.

Here’s the long and the short of it, beautiful people don’t get a free ride in life and they actually have to work harder to be taken seriously, respected, find true loyalty and most of all define who they are. Others can sometimes define who you are and if you are worthy. When you change your life’s principles for a man, you lose their respect. If you have no principles to change you also lose their respect. People respect honestly and conviction without the judgment. Speak the truth in love. You can change your actions in a relationship, but not you’re principles. You need to define YOU, declare you’re life principles and start moving ahead. Don’t be surprised if you meet very few people at first, but when you do meet them they will be keepers.

Answer 5

Get involved outside your house with activities you enjoy.

Live life, be out there, and the one for you will find you!

Answer 6

I use to feel the same way, then at 26, God brought me my husband.  I dated that guy that wasn't my type and he ended up perfect for me.  Relationships are not suppose to be hard and you are not suppose to be chasing a guy, he should be chasing you.  Stop looking and just let him come to you.  That geeky guy that you always shoo away, just might be the one for you.  Try to figure out the common link these guys have besides you and try to date outside that box.  Good Luck.

Answer 7

It is b/c of YOU!!

You need to love yourself first, and get yourself together before you start dating!!  MAybe you come off as being too desperate, clingy and insecure to these men, which is a big turn-off!!

There is nothing wrong with being alone!!  Start thinking differently and learn to love yourself!!  Stop comparing your life to others!  AND get som SELF-Esteem and Confidence, it will take you a long way,, and you will learn to identify jerks before you let them in your life!!

Where are your friends??  What is your hobbies, besides trying to get a man??

Answer 8

The tone of your question seems to suggest that you deserve to be happy because you are so beautiful.  Quite the contrary.  Nobody cares that you're beautiful.  Can you cook? Can you change the oil in the car? How about a mouse? Could you kill a mouse, if need be?  There are much more important facets of your being that need working on before you can attract true love.

Answer 9

the women that have the guys love the guys for who they are and don't tell strangers how beautiful they think they are.. everyone has a different view of what is beautiful to them.  Sounds like you are pushing the "love" factor into your dating.. just let it go with the flow and don't always pick the irrogant pretty boys look outside of the box and there is where you will find true love.

Answer 10

when u are looking for love it is not all about how a person looks beauty comes from the inside. if u stop looking for love in all the wrong place. love and happiness will come so much easier.  

Answer 11

GF, I know exactly what you are talking about. I'm in the beginning 30's and like you, I did go out on some dates but there was no chemistry whatsoever. You are not the only one who feels this way.

Is it very hard to find a man who wants to have a serious relationship, especially in our generation because most men (not all of them) but most of them prefer having many girl friends than a girlfriend. It's like they are afraid of commitment. being attached

I went on 4 blind dates and let me tell you, I wasn't impressed. Some have no manners, some are just not my type, some are boring and some are losers. I prefer being alone than being with someone just for the same of not being alone.

Finally, seems to me that you're problem is that you need a man to fulfill you and make you happy. I know so many woman who are single and very happy with their life.

Start focusing on you, on goals you would like to accomplish and maybe further up your education.

One of my friends dated this guy for 5 years and she just recently broke it off with him because he was very controlling. She feels liberated and it's times like this that makes you realize that being in an unhealthy relationship is less respectable than being single and happy and content with yourself.

But I can also recall a lot of people that are in relationships and they are miserable. They're not happy at all. In fact, it's like they are in prison. Many of them are trapped and they'd give anything to be single. They'd give anything to be in your shoes today.

A relationship should'nt fulfill you but compliment the both of you.

Answer 12

Oh...you sound so sad.  I hope you are doing ok.  I think that perhaps you are putting too much focus and importance on finding someone to love.  Like have you ever noticed that when you try really hard to find something you cannot find it?  Anyhow that is how it usually works for me.  Once I relax and just try to have fun is when I usually find exactly what I was looking for.  

Also do not underestimate the power of positive thinking.  Don't focus on what you don't want, but instead think of all the good qualities you desire in a partner and imagine just how wonderful it will feel when (not if) you find them.  

Take a break and just focus on yourself for a while.  When you do go out on a date instead of focusing on whether or not it will last, try to just focus on having fun.  

Good luck!

Answer 13

Have you considered taking some classes or joining a gym where you can meet new people? You never know who you will meet and who their friends will be. Be patient.