I am so dissappointed in the man I fell 'in love' with...is this an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship?

Question

He was terrific. Affectionate, loving, kind, respectful. Then - poof! where did he go? I don't even know the man I am with now. It's if his 'other' personality is out and the man I fell in love with is gone never to be found again. It's sad and depressing. He is nothing like who he used to be. He now thinks a woman's job is to clean and cook and care for him while she gets nothing in return. He isn't affectionate anymore. He never ever texts me or calls during the day. He's short tempered with me and bossy and makes me feel like he doesn't want to be around me, yet he is nice to his friends. He never makes plans with me. I give and all he seems to do is take and take and take. I have fought back by stopping giving. It didn't work. We just got even more distant. I keep trying to get the man I fell in love with back. But I think I am realizing he is forever gone and this is just him and I wish I saw it sooner and didn't waste five years on him. Is what I describe a mental/emotional abusive relationship?

Answer 1

Yes, he is abusing you. You best leave him ASAP.

Answer 2

this happens and i think is because we dont want to see these signs so we choose to ignore  tem or think of excuses for them and one day realize   reality ,now its up to you to decie  what who you desreve to be and want to be treated.only you can make your life decision

Answer 3

You need someone new in your life that makes you feel those butterflies inside.. Move on let this relationsship be a lesson to you and choose more wisley next time before you give your heart and soul to a man. Just be glad you didnt have kids with him..

Answer 4

I would have to say yes it is. In this day and age life is just to short for a person to be unhappy all the time. Give yourself a break and take a step back and think about yourself for a change, it may mean divorce but it will eventually mean happiness for you. Good Luck.

Answer 5

get away from this guy and be happy.

Sometimes people change because they just don't care about making a effort, they think they already got you and don't think it is important to be nice to you anymore,and only care of their needs, and if you talk with them about it and still it is all about them only,well you need things too and if they won't even listen or give to you not good for you to be around them.

Answer 6

Did you marry my ex?  That is definitely a mentally, emotionally abusive relationship.  I even tried to get him to go to counciling and he refused.  Would even call while I was on my way to the councilors office to tell me he couldn't make it.  He was rude and crude to my friends so I wouldn't have friends.  He nagged me 24/7 that I should be mowing, vacuuming, washing dishes, doing laundry, etc., etc., etc.,  You need to get out now!  Once he gets tired of the verbal and mental abuse, he is going to start hitting you!

Answer 7

I was just talking with some guy-friends about this recently.  

Yup.  He doesn't care.  He got you, has you where he wants you and is simply benefitting from you for as long as he can.

Answer 8

my bf did the same thing. sold himself really well to get in my pants!

since then, we've had 2 kids in the last 5 1/2 years. i love my girls! I've had 2 jobs when he's had at least 2 dozen!

and you know what? i broke up with him today because he can't stop drinking!

it's time to think about me and my kids! what i want and stop catering to his needs.

i've thought more about him in the last 5 1/2 years than my own 2 children! that's not right!

i hope you decide you're more important than that!