I am so sick of my kids! How can I be a better parent?

Question

I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old. They are not nice people. They bite, scream, and constantly tell me no. I do not like them. I love them very much and would not want anything to happen to them but I do not enjoy their company. I am a single mom and their father and I are supposed to be marrying soon but he lives a bit of distance away due to his job so I get a little breather on the weekends when he comes up. I could have their paternal grandmother watch them but her apt. is infested with roaches and in a really bad neighborhood, so I would be worrying about them and not able to relax. My mom is 3000 miles away. Right now it is 1:30 in the morning and my 2 year old son is STILL AWAKE. My 2 year old son has been diagnosed as at risk for autism but through all of the interventive measures that I have fought for, he is doing well. I'm afraid that I will undermine the growth and progress of both children because I am always yelling, snapping at them, and even spanking. I feel awful.

Answer 1

I feel the same way sometimes.  I just have to put him in his room sometimes and let him scream for a few minutes while I collect myself and then go back to it.  I know how hard it can be!  In the last 14 months I have had maybe 20 hours away from my son total.  That equals out to about 20 minutes a week to myself!!  He doesn't nap well so I can't have me time then, I have to stay with him.  Lately I have destroyed a few things in my house out of frustration (with my son in his room of course).  The other day I threw my vacuum cleaner on my lawn and left it there until my husband came home!  You are not bad, you are NORMAL!

Answer 2

Get a 1 year old dog like a beagle or terrier -- if they bite it bites back.

Answer 3

Seems like they need some structure. Kids like a routine. Get them started on a daily routine from waking up to meals, playtime, bath time, bedtime etc.. It might take you a week or 2 to get the hang of it but in the long run you'll appreciate it. Also you need to address the behaviors of biting and the other things that do, especially while they are young. Look into some parenting classes in your neighborhood (a lot of the time there are free ones; churches, dpss). Also check into local moms clubs or other parenting networks. You might be able to find them a few playmates who display appropriate behavior and your kids might model them. Don't give up! Continue to fight for your children. Instead of yelling/snapping take a mommy time out. Make sure they are safe (in cribs/playpens) and go into the other room and cry/scream into a pillow or whatever it takes to keep from snapping at them. Seems like you just need more help and it is out there. Just look for it. Don't give up!

Answer 4

You still got about 2 or 3 more years of all the commotion, so just find somethin that helps you cope better with it.

Answer 5

it's sad to hear about your bad situation. honestly but sadly to say, what yr kids is doing is simply a reflection of the parents or whoever taking care of them.  for yr part, u need to be more tolerant & firm. (no screaming or spanking, pls!) letting them know that  throwing tantrums will not get your attention.  if possible, put them in a room in solace if they continue to make a racket.  Introduce some educational toy/television programmes to keep them occupy.

Answer 6

They are one and two ..oh my goodness try doing something with them like going the park .they play up most of the time cause they are bored ...if your son does have autism your in for a short sharp shock and you will know why he doesn't take any notice !

Answer 7

Don't have anymore kids?

Answer 8

This is going to sound strange but you have to be the pack leader!  You have not established any boundaries.  You allow them to dictate to you what is going to happen and when.  Being a parent is not an easy chore, but you chose to do this so you have to buck up and do your best.  Sounds as if you have just given in and given up.  Although my son could have been a bear at times I would have NEVER (nor did I ever) say I didn't like his company and God forbid "I do not like (him)."  That's a horrible thing to say.  I can understand your frustration but you need to get it in check before you completely lose it!  If you can't handle your children perhaps you should put them up for adoption.

Answer 9

You just need a vacation plus they are so close in age, start giving them timeouts and watch nanny 911 you'll learn a few tricks of the trade

Answer 10

Parents yell !

You just need to know how to control it ..and if your son does have autism believe me Hun you will have to learn to cope very very fast !

Answer 11

maybe you could contact someone like supernanny or something or maybe you could have a friend come and stay with you for a while or take them to your local GP and just tell them that they are biting you and they are screaming at you and they may do some tests!!!!  They may also have a behavioral problem!!! it may seem bad but if you can treat them young they may be a bit better when they are older!!!!

hope i have helped you and i have given you as much advise as i can

Answer 12

Your not awful just over stressed. I find that when I am about to lose it; I simply wake away. I go outside and sit on the step for a couple of minutes just to clear my head. Otherwise I end up more insane than the babies.

If your children don't already have 1 set up a daily routine for them. Plan everything out from the minute you get up until they go to bed and stick to it. Its really hard at first but children enjoy knowing what is happening and they will become easier to settle.

If your children feel you are stressed they pick up on that and they will mimic your behaviour.

Answer 13

Be as nice and loving  to them as you can. Don't spank, it will show them that using violence is how things are done. Make them laugh as much as you can, read to them, and every once in a while hire a baby sitter so that you can go get yourself a messuage for stress relief.