I am soo Stressed out, please help me?

Question

It is a long story but i'll make it short. My father has been on my case for finishing my college degree ever since i was little girl. But when i got married i planned to finish but i got pregnant (twins) accidently. Now I am very busy mom, hardly have time for myself. Going back to school is very very hard. The reason I went to college was to please my father. But i like beauty school all my life. He is very old fashioned man. I am thinking about being makeup artist because its what i love, and am good at. Although i do have an associates degree, my father thinks its NOTHING. I am so stressed out, every time i go to his house, he askes me what i did. Its crazy. I love my father to death, but he need to back off. How can i tell him too, my husband knows what i like and he is supporting me to go to beauty school. How can i tell my father without him freaking out. I am afraid if he gets too stressed out about it. I am sooo stressed out, i can't eat/sleep/ do things. Please any advice. thanks

Answer 1

Somewhere you have to realize that you are not obligated to fulfill your fathers dreams. Your obligation is to fulfill your dreams.

You are a mother, don't you have dreams of what you want for your children, what you imagine their lives to be like? So put yourself in your father place, and maybe you can see how part of his personal identification is made up of what he wanted his little girl to do.

Ok you sound like a nice girl. You are married, you have had children (btw, there are no "accidents" you had s*x and the result was pregnancy, the only true birth control is abstinence), and you are trying to continue your education by gaining a skill in something that you love. Your father may have wanted you to be a rocket scientist, and is disappointed but you turned out pretty darn well and he should be really proud of you.

This is effecting your day to day life, so its got to be effecting your relationship with your husband, your children and your schooling. You need to take a big girl pill and realize that you cannot control your father but you can sure stand up for yourself. Next time he brings it up, gently and respectfully tell him to back off. Tell him you love him and you need him to be your dad, not your critic. Tell him that you are happy with your life, and that should make him happy. If he continues to stress you out, then distance yourself for your own peace of mind.

I wonder as I write this if alot of this isn't in your mind. Do you feel guilty that your life made a different turn than you expected it to? Maybe you are more disappointed than you are admitting to and putting that off on your dad.

Regardless, live your own life. Its all you get.  

Answer 2

Well no matter what, your father will not be happy until you do what he wants you to do. You are a grown woman and need to make your own decisions. You just need to sit him down and tell him how much he means to you and his opinions matter. But that you have made a decision and decided to go to beauty school because that this is your long life dream. Let him know that I can't please everyone when it comes to "your" future in this. Let him know that you refuse to fight about this anymore and he is just gonna have to accept it because this is your dream and you are the only one who can leave it.

Good luck to you. I hope everything works out.

Answer 3

m********e

Answer 4

Do what you want to do. I think that being in the cosmetology field is wonderful.  Follow your dreams. Don't let your parents live your life from what they wished they had done in there own. Sometimes parents do and say things that hurt us like you need to go here and take this college course. You need to sit down with them and tell them that you appreciate what they are saying but you have found something that makes you happy and for that reason you are going to be going to do what you need and want to do. Tell them that you love them but also remind them that this is "your life". Don't do somsthing to make others happy. You only live once do what you want . Good luck

Answer 5

talk to ur dad

Answer 6

You are a mom. Put your self in his shoes so that you can understand how he feels. With that done, you can better understadn his side of the equation. Now, the reason that is important, so that when you talk to him, you will be able to get him off your back WITHOUT tearing the fences of the relationship. He loves you and wants the best, but you have got to be happy. If beauty school is what you want and you r HUSBAND supports you then go for it. Your father is no longer the head of your household. He gave that up when he answered yes to who so giveth away the bride. Feel me? You and your husband are one. And if you pursue your dream, and he is supportive, nothing but good things can come of that. Good luck.

Answer 7

Your father needs to let go of you. He still thinks your a teenager. Tell him you are a grown woman and that it's time for you to make the decisions in your life. Tell him you are trying to make him proud but he's putting to much pressure on you. If he doesn't stop that your will distant yourself from him. You have to for your own piece of mind. Good luck!

Answer 8

if makeup is what you love and what you wont to do then don't let your father get in the way of that!