I am struggling to come to terms with the end of a relationship, advice please?

Question

I was recently dumped by someone I was in love with. He spent months telling me how much he loved me, needed me, adored me, couldnt llive without me, you know the usual. He also phoned me constantly and chased me all day every day. I think it's safe to say we were both besotted with each other. I was dumped by text and he will never speak to me again.

I am struggling so bad to come to terms with it because I was so in love with him, what can I do to get over it? Also, I really trusted him and now I feel I will never trust anyone again because I am so hurt by the way he behaved towards me.

I just don't understand how you can love someone one minute and need them so much and drop them the next and not even want to talk to them, has this happened to anyone else?

Answer 1

It happens to us all at some point in our lives - you are not alone in feeling this way - it will pass - honest!

The worst thing to do is sit around thinking about it - get out whenever possible and make new friends and use the friends you have to get you through this. If they are real friends - they won't mind at all.

This happens every day of every month of every year to someone, somewhere.

There is no answer as to why it happens - there could be many reasons or just one - he realised you were not the one for him.

BUT - don't let his actions stop you trusting others - that is the road to causing further probems later on -

You will get over it and move on..trust me on that one - it hurts at the moment - but you will survive - I did. If I can survive - you can.

Answer 2

Sounds like you're well shot of him.  I think it shows immaturity on his part for ending it that way.  Look after yourself and give yourself time to get over this relationship.  You will find someone new one day and you will learn to trust again but perhaps the next person will have to work a bit harder for it; and that won't be a bad thing.  And then you can look back at this and wonder what you were thinking!!  Good luck.

Answer 3

It's probably happened to at least a quarter of the population, me included, so you really are not alone. However your hurt is real.

Treat yourself gently, as if you are recovering from an illness. Emotional pain is just as important to deal with as physical pain so take it easy, have some quiet times to cry or reflect but have some fun too. Having a laugh with some good friends or family is always going to take your mind off it. Time will smooth the sharp edges. Meantime hold onto the emotional good stuff from your experiences, and let the negative go otherwise that's a whole lot of baggage to carry into your next relationship- yes there will be one!.

There will be someone worthy of your love eventually; it just wasn't him.

Take care x

Answer 4

I have just experienced the same thing. I went out with man for 5 years. He promised me marriage and all my dreams. He was married but separated. I lost touch with most of my friends for him as he didnt like them and wanted me all to himself. We were inseprable. So I am in exactly the same situation. Still madly in love with him my stomach churning constantly. Feeling sick not eating not sleeping. Iv tried to text him talk to him and email him but he is blocking my text etc. and not replyng. I thought after 5 years hed have had a bit more respect passion but alas no. So I really have no advice for you. Im sorry you are feeling this way but hey life is a *****!!!!!! Take care x

Answer 5

This has happened to me and recently ! The difference is im the male and not the female. If you search through here you will see im the one who got dumped 6 months ago by a woman i invested 2.5 years of my life into.  Its made me totally depressed and to the point of suicide and im 35 years of age.

I was the same, i got total adoration, constant contact ( sometimes we were living apart in different countries) and all these declarations of total love, " you are the love of my life" etc Then, when we had a couple of issues she stopped contacting me ( ok, so we had issues in our relationship but who doesnt ?).  When i hadnt heard from her, i contacted her and she dismissed me out of hand and now I NEVER hear from her.  

So, when this happens........you go from having what you thought was alot of love, trust and respect to the polar opposite of nothing.  So, this is why it is hurting so much.  I feel exactly the same, totally unable to understand how someone can be like that.....totally unable to feel i can trust another person.

For me, it feels like the biggest betrayal i ever experienced in my life.

so, how do you cope ? really, thats difficult.  I still have many battles in my mind but i guess it ultimately comes down to realising, wow, this person cant have been really in love with me or maybe that in time they were all words and less substance.  you see, that is really hard to accept when you still really love the person and struggle to see bad in them.  So, i totally relate.

Really, good luck and i hope you move on.

Answer 6

When I went through it my nan said to me, "Pencil, The longest day has only 24 hours in it" And of course she was right.  See it out

xx

Answer 7

well it sounds like he has done you a favour, what a pig. I'm really sorry your having to go through this but you deserve a lot better. He is the one with the problem not you.

Don't waste time keep going over it in your head, it will just eat you up inside. try to keep yourself busy. You've heard it before but its true that in time you feel better and what seems like h**l now becomes just a c**p memory