I am the mother of a 5 year old Asperger child who has started trowing tantrums?

Question

though i have been very patient with her i find that i have gegun to loose my cool. Yesterday i even smacked her. I know i was wrong but i just didn't know how to get across to her anymore. I am trmendously ashamed of what happened and that is why i am asking someone to help me. Please tell me of some reading material that will help me to train and educate her better

Answer 1

Try this book : "The Explosive Child" by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D.  The Amazon link is http://www.amazon.com/Explosive-Child-Un...

All the best.

Answer 2

I believe the key to success is to educate you better, so you can understand what is happening, the antecedents, and prevent what you can.  Look into sensory integration.  Find an OT to help her sensory needs.  And for a book I recommend "Why does Chris do that?" by Tony Attwood. This book gives an understanding to common behaviors in lay terms and is an easy read, it is a nice reference tool too.  Another about sensory integration is by Carol S. Kranowicz, "The out of sync child" and "The out of sync child has fun".  "The social skills communication picture book" by Jed Baker.  Also anything carried by the autism asperger's publishing company is a good choice.  I have purchased a small library from them of 50 books over the past several years, none disappoint.  

http://www.asperger.net

Network with your local autism society chapter for support groups, education, social skills training and camps.  My son who is PDD.NOS just finished summer school and goes to camp next week for a nominal fee.  Also Easter Seals has respite care, I think it is for free.  My son also participates in Top soccer and challenger baseball for free, free trophy, free uniform.  Also there is free music therapy in our area.

Answer 3

Vb tutorials-http://learnvb.info/

Answer 4

As mom to a 13 yr. old, I've been where you are. The problem is, the tantrums aren't her misbehaving. Its literally a "meltdown" in her brain circuits. You need to figure out what is causing them. Is it sensory overload? Has she been tested for sensory issues? My son is hyper-sensitive to touch & noise. When touched unexpectedly, his brain registers pain. A good Occupational Therapist can not only test for this, but give you activities that will help improve her ability to cope. Ours explained it like this - imagine you're going thru a busy intersection. You have the green light & proceed. Out of nowhere, a car flies thru the intersection, almost broadsiding you. What happens? Your heart races, you panic. Now imagine that you walk around every day all day with that panic & the fight/flight reaction that comes with it. That's what a lot of our kids feel 24/7. You may want to pick up books on sensory disfunction to learn more about it. There's 2, The Sensory Child (I think), and The Sensory Child Has Fun, which are great.

As intelligent & verbal as she may be (my son is very verbal, very bright), her communication & language skills just aren't there. She can't identify her feelings, she can't express them, she certainly doesn't have theory of mind to understand other's feelings. The vocabulary that some of our kids use can mask the fact that they do not understand social communication at all.

It may also be that you're asking her to do tasks that she can't break down. I'll give a quick example - if I ask my son to put on his shoes and socks, he freezes. You can't put your shoes on before your socks, but that's exactly what I've asked him to do. He can't get past it. Our kids think very concretely. They also have real difficulty breaking down tasks. Think about how many steps are truly in brushing your teeth. Start breaking things down into the most basic steps.

Finally, I would say that our kids don't adjust well to change. They like everything concrete & organized, because to them the world is confusing & chaotic. Even happy surprises are bad, because they mess with the order of things. Change is bad! Try prepping her for trips out - make a schedule on the fridge - warn her in advance (We''re going out after lunch. We're going out in 10 mins., 5 mins., etc.) Prep her for where you're going -- and what its going to be like (the noise level, your expectations of her, what she might feel or see or hear). Prepping is everything.

Rules & punishments need to be concrete. You need to keep explanations short & be very very consistent in your expectations. If she has a behavior you want to stop, its better to approach it thru a reward system. We used poker chips as points, and he picked out items he wanted to earn. Some small, so the reward could be immediate. Some bigger, that he would have to save for.

There are so many resources out there. The O.A.S.I.S. site is very helpful. Any book by Tony Atwood. Aspergers Syndrome & Difficult Moments is a newer book (I haven't read this one, but it looks okay). If you go to Borders or Barnes & Noble, you'll find a number of useful books to help you to understand her reactions to things.

The most interesting part of the meltdowns is that they are rarely caused by whatever is happening at the moment. Try keeping a diary of what happens in the day. It could be the meltdowns are being caused by something totally outside of anything you thought of -- like her socks not sitting right on her feet or that the radio is too loud. Its amazing, really, what can cause them.

Hang in there, mostly. Its not easy. But as they get older, and learn skills, it gets easier. They just need a lot more help to learn them.

Answer 5

Well I'm not sure if this might help you, but my video about Asperger's helped alot of people maybe it can help you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbgUjmeC-...