I am thinking of adopting a baby .?

Question

I am 28, my daughter 5 and husband 32. we are all really longing for another baby but just cant get pregnant-trying for 3yrs already. do you think we should consider adoption and can anyone tell me what the procedure of adoption is. Also should we adopt a baby or should we consider a child that is about our daughter's age so that they will relate to each other better?

Answer 1

I have a friend who is finally adopting.  And getting 3 all at once.  She is thrilled.  One is an infant, the others are 3 and 4.  She has a daughter of her own who's 11.  She had to go through alot to finally get to this point.  Lot's of foster care.  That was her choice.  You don't have to do that.  There are classes she and hubby had to take on parenting.  Lot's of red tape.  I "think" most of it was due to the fostering though.  

As for the age.  Infants are wonderful.  But the older kids have such a hard time because everyone wants infants.  So the older ones just stay there and continue to wait.  I'd take whatever came first in choices for you.  Be it an infant or older child.  And just let the cards fall where they may on this.  Let fate decide.

I think it's great that you are considering adopting.  There are lots of kids who need home badly.  I would take a few, but don't have the means to support any more.  So, they'd never give me one.  I am thinking of fostering older children.  Like teens.  Because they have a hard time getting fosters for teens.  I'm waiting till my youngest is grown though.  She's 12.  I just hope to someday help a teen before they get out in this big world on their own to show them that someone does love them.  And not let someone finish growing up in a government home.

Well anyways, I wish you luck in you new adventures in life.  God bless in what ever you choose.

Answer 2

There are many ways to adopt.  First, you need to decide whether or not you want to adopt domestically or internationally.  If you decide on domestic adoption, there are private adoption agencies as well as foster adoptions.

Do all your research before deciding on a program.  Any legitimate adoption agency can help you with deciding what's best for your situation.  Be open and honest throughout the whole process.  Decide if you are open about the s*x of the child, whether or not you'll accept a child with special, pre-diagnosed medical/emotional needs.  

Just as an FYI, all international adoptions are considered "special needs", whether or not the child is considered "healthy".  There is a ton of information online.

Try www.adoption.com - there is even a forum section where you can post about adoption issues.

Answer 3

I was adopted as of two days old by a single lady who had 5 kids already I grew up to appreciate alot of things in life and as me being her adopted daughter I saw the way her blood children treated her and it was not pretty I almost got hurt trying to defend her a few times. And she always told me why I was the only one not treating her so ugly and i told her that I takes any lady to make a baby but it takes a real mother to raise someone and that i appreciated her so much. Till this day I am going on four kids of my own and I can never see myself giving up my kids for a piece of land (thats why I was given up for adoption my mom didnt want to loose land that her father was going to pass down after he passed over, till this day he doent know about me, not even my dad) but its okay o wouldnt change my life for the world.

Answer 4

Babies are very hard to come by. And - for me - I think mother's should be encouraged to parent their babies - first and foremost - as it is done in Australia - as children do best with their bio parents - if no harm is present.

Where as - there are thousands (literally) of children in foster care - just waiting for a loving home. Many have parental rights already terminated - and are ready for some love.

I don't think you need to have a child the same age as your daughter - that could cause resentment - but you could adopt a child up to that age.

The children will be siblings - that enough for kids to deal with!!

Be aware - that you may need to really come to grips with not being able to have another bio child - as the adoptee does not need the pressure of trying to live up to high expectations.

The adoptee must be loved just for who they are - not for who you want them to be.

Grieve over that loss - before you jump head-long into a process which can be very drawn out and emotionally draining in and of itself.

I wish you all the best.

Answer 5

If you're considering adoption, I recommend you research all of the avenues of adoption, then make the choice that's best for your family.  Look up information on domestic adoption, foster adoption and international adoption.  Talk to agencies, talk to the state department of human services, get as much data as you can.  Each adoption route has its benefits and its drawbacks.  

As to the age, it's generally not a good idea to adopt a child the same age as your biological child.  There tends to be a lot of problems with this arrangement.  I'd suggest either adopting older or younger.  There are some studies that say adopting outside the birth order is bad, others say it's not a problem.  The truth probably is somewhere in the middle: meaning it depends on the children involved!

Regardless of which adoption route you choose, you will have to go through a pretty thorough screening process and homestudy process.  You will need to produce certified copies of birth certificates, marriage certificates, if applicable: divorce or death certificates.  Plus tax return info and W-2 copies for the past few years (I think 3 years, but that might have changed).  Anyway, unless you are one of those very organized people, you'll have to order the certified copies from the state, which may take awhile.  So, get this part started while you are researching options.

Finally, read books on adoption, from the perspective of adoptees and adoptive parents.  Take classes.  Attend adoption seminars or workshops.  Try to benefit from the experiences of others as best you can.

Good luck!

Answer 6

i dont really know the answers to your other questions but you should defenetly get a girl your daughters age so your daughter can have a playmate

Answer 7

I think it's a good idea to adopt, but you may want to foster first to see how you feel, as adoption is such a big step whereas fostering isn't permament. However if you do feel ready to adopt, there will be more older children than babies as there is a bigger demand for babies than children a few years older.

Answer 8

noit's better to hav a smaller one ....but before doing that ask ur daughter 1st.......hope u understood Y!!!!

    go to an orfans home hav a baby (ofcourse there some formalities of filling some papers........)

take care of both the children!!!!!!!