I am three or four weeks into an unwanted pregnancy.?

Question

I cant have this baby. I am 26 yrs old, just getting on my feet, one semester away from graduating with my degree. I already have one child, and I am not physically or financially able at this time to support this pregnancy or child. I do not believe in abortion, but at three or four weeks is this fertilized egg even a person yet? I am seriously considering ending this, but do not want to regret it or be traumatized by this. I just don't know what to do, could use some advice, and can't tell anyone else about it. My family would flip out.

Answer 1

well, it sounds like to me that you are much better off than most women who have unplanned pregnancies. you are ready to graduate from college, and on your own feet. things could be worse. you allready have one child, so you know the joy and love that a child can bring into your life. what were the circumstances like when you had your first child? were you honetly ready for it? my guess, is probablly not! i mean, when are you ever really ready to be a parent? you are much better off to be raising kids if you have a college degree, so you are allready on the right track. you may not have the money now, but at least you have college out of the way.

it sounds like you have a  pretty good head on your shoulders, just trust yourself to do the right thing.

Answer 2

I suggest going to your doctor, or a planned parenthood office. Planned Parenthood has people on staff that can council you in your situation. And your doctor may be able to inform you as well.

Maybe what you need is to talk to someone face to face and the answer to your question will become clear. Honestly this is a decision that only you can make.

I went through a similar situation when I was in college and I am the same age as you. If you want to talk about it, you can email me.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Well you've answered your own question.  I think it is pretty obvious that you will regret aborting the pregnancy.  Don't do it. Abortion for you would be a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  Nobody can say whether the baby has a soul at this point or not...  that is a long standing debate.  I personally believe that they do, and even if they did not, they are meant to be someone and will have a soul eventually.  Your family will be happy once the initial shock is over...  trust me.  I've been through it!

Answer 4

if you are 3 or 4 weeks pregnant, are you sure that you are definately pregnant? sometimes your mind can play tricks with your body into thinking that you are pregnant. if you definatley are preg then you need to talk to your doctor and discuss your options, but i agree with the first people to post. if you were silly enough to have unprotected s*x then what do you expect. i just hope you dont go ahead with your plans. it will traumatise you.  

Answer 5

i have to say that if you were looking for reassurance about aborting your baby you did the wrong thing asking a forum full of pregnant girls. ;P

my honest opinion is if you really can't even consider having this baby...do what you must. don't make excuses though. not being able to provide for a baby at 26 and a month from graduating college is ridiculous.

i got fired when i told my boss i was pregnant. my boyfriend works at subway part time. he didn't even grad. high school so job prospects are mostly minimum wage and right now i wouldn't likely get hired anywhere this pregnant. and we are having ANOTHER baby, we already have one. it can be done, and you would be more capable than most people would at providing financially for a second child. so its just a cop out to claim that you can't afford another baby. you just don't want one right now, which IMO is fine and a personal choice.

if you do decide to abort, make sure YOUR feelings on the subject are not going to cause you a lot of grief after the fact...and make sure you WON'T care what other people think or say.

i'm sure most people on this forum will say that life begins at conception...i'm not sure what i believe. but i do believe if you honestly don't think you can take care of another one it would be unfair to your child and the baby in your belly to bring another into the world. you have to think about what effect another baby is going to have on your child that is alive and out or your womb first and foremost.

Answer 6

I was 18 when I gave my boy up for adoption.  He is living with a wonderful family and even has a brother.  I have never regretted what I did- he is much happier now and has more than I could have provided him with at that age.  

Answer 7

I don't think you would be traumatized if you feel it's the right thing to do. I'm not for the abortion but I understand some mistakes can happen and that option is available to you. I would say it's better to do it now when it is very early in the pregnancy than in a few more months.

If you decide to continue with the pregnancy you better accept it and never feel that you've made a mistake by having the baby because that child might feel it and be traumatized.

Answer 8

I am 23 years old and currently in college and not far from getting my degree either.

I was pregnant at one time (during early high school years) and had an abortion. I am not trying to tell you to have an abortion but I want to let you know that I don't regret having one. I was young and stupid. I didn't know what I was doing, what protection was (I come from an Asian background family). I know that a lot of people here disagree but (Note: I wouldn't say it was the smartest thing I did) I know that I'm better off now than I would have been.

On that note, you are 26 years old, you have already a child and if you honestly believe that you can't support another one, why didn't you use protection or anything? My suggestion is that by the time this baby will be due, you will be done with school because if you are a semester away from graduation.

Through some research, "brain is well marked by its cerebral hemispheres. The hindbrain, which is responsible for heart regulation, breathing and muscle movements, begins to develop." The eyes, limb buds, and other features begin to form, along with the heart, which begins pumping at 25 days after conception and there's more information through my sources. So it's really up to you on what you consider a person but at three to four weeks, a heart beating means something.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that this information somewhat helped.  

Answer 9

a believe a heart beat is establised at 4 weeks et the neural tube et forbrain form therefore your baby is a person. there are many good people out there who cannot have children so maybe you should consider adoption.

Answer 10

you could think about adoption the baby doesnt get hurt and gets a chance of life, someone who cant hav kids can hav 1 n u dont hav 2 worry abortions make u sick  

Answer 11

Usually these people who are so unsure are teenagers.

And suprisingly they do more than you are doing now.

You are 26 years old. You knew all the factors of s*x-how to begin it...and what happens with the PREGNANCY percentage.

You knew when you had s*x there was a risk..There is always a risk.

If you are 26 and worrying about your family flipping out then I hope you understand ABORTION is not a good option for you. I mean - THeRE IS A BABY INSIDE YOUR UTERUS.

Like you said abortion is not your option- SO DONT DO IT.

A baby is a baby from the beginning...It's a sperm in an egg-then a cell-then rapidly growing cells that have BY THIS TIME. formed a spine for your baby. with a spine comes the nerves...the nerves is what a baby can "feel" with...

You baby doesnt deserve to die- just because you werent wise enough to risk it.

Take responisbility...there are plenty of resources out there. USE THEM.

Answer 12

At 3 or 4 weeks, most of the organs are not yet formed, the nervous system is not formed, and the fetus does not feel pain, it is not hardly recognizable as a human at all. I'm not trying to tell you to get an abortion, I'm just letting you in on the facts before someone says "It has fingernails".

It's up to you to have an abortion or not. Some clinics offer low cost or sliding scales for payment or payment plans. You could even go to a clinic just for counseling with a professional.

If done by a doctor properly it does not cause infertility.

It's your own heart that has to decide whether you think this is right or wrong, don't let anyone tell you not to have an abortion if you want to, or to force you into having an abortion. If you think it through, whatever decision you make will be the one that causes you to feel better.

Also, people will tell you to give it up for adoption, which is your choice as well, but keep in mind that over 600,000 children and babies are in the system right now and may never find homes, and children in the system for adoption are at a 1/3 higher risk of abuse from other people, be it sexual, emotional, verbal, physical, whatever, and they often suffer from emotional issues... and the plight of foster care children costs the US taxpayer billions of dollars every year.

Any of the choices you make will have a downfall, but just look into your heart and decide what's best for YOU, not anyone else.

Answer 13

i can't tell you what to do, but yes you have a "person"  inside your belly...

Answer 14

26 years old... You're a big gal, babe. Do not make a decision which you will regret later.

I don;t know any person who regretted NOT doing an abortion. but know a lot of, who did...

Be strong. Whatever you decide, will be right.  

Answer 15

If you physically cannot support and give birth to a healthy baby to give up for adoption, then I think your only option is to have an abortion.

I understand that you are scared, so just calm down a second! Breathe.

At four weeks pregnant, the egg is becoming bigger and growing, but right now it is just a ball of cells.  no hands or feet or even a face.  right now would be the time of your period if you are calculating right (from the first day of your last period).

Until about 8 weeks pregnant, it is not really much anything, so if you are going to do it, do it now and don't hesitate.  The longer you wait, the harder it will be.

You know what is best fro you, and if you cannot physically have a healthy baby, there's your answer.

Be careful in the future and good luck.  I will be thinking about you.

Answer 16

I was an orphan, and wished I was adopted.

But I am sure glad I was not aborted.

So, please consider adoption as an option, please. <}:-})

Answer 17

This is the decision you should make without thinking what other people think. You will find mixed views here... some are totally against abortion, some are not, some may suggest you to go ahead with pregnancy and put it up for adoption. You know it better for yourself and your family, the father of the child, your financial and emotional state than any of us. Regret will be there if you do something you are not sure of. If you think you can take care and raise this child, go ahead, there is nothing as beautiful as having a baby. But if you think you can't, then end it or see if you can handle nine months of pregnancy and then give away your child. Regret will always be there on what you do until you are sure of your action.

I am not anti-abortion and I also don't support unprotected s*x. Do what you have to do this time and be careful in future. You know whats best for you.... no one else should suggest u what to do. We are bunch of people with different thoughts, values and cultures and then we are not in your situation.

Good luck and it will be fine one day.

Answer 18

DO NOT DO IT! ITS SOMETHING YOU WILL REGRET FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND IF IT IS MEANT FOR YOU NOT TO HAVE THE BABY THEN YOU WONT DONT TAKE A LIFE INTO YOUR OWN HANDS AND DECIDE TO END IT THAT IS THE SAME AS MURDER. IT IS A CHILD NOT A CHOICE AND EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE UNPROTECTED s*x IT IS NOT THE CHILDS FAULT. WEATHER YOU ARE 1 WEEK PREGNANT OR 1 MONTH IT IS STILL A CHILD FORMING INSIDE OF YOU.  

Answer 19

Get some counseling.  Planned Parenthood is one option, your priest, rabbi are another.  Consider putting the baby up for adoption.  You can consider open adoption.

You say your family will flip out.  Maybe initially.  Maybe not.  Is there a trusted friend or relative you can speak to, to break the news to the others?  That way, you won't have to be around if they do flip out. You're an adult of 26, so too bad if they do flip out.  You may be surprised how understanding they are.  

You can terminate the pregnancy.  Will you regret it in the future?  Only you can answer this question.  This is your choice - no one but you can decide this.

The link to Planned Parenthood is below.  Please, please get some counseling so you make the right choice for yourself.  Don't let anyone else tell you what to do.  Look at all your options.

My best wishes and prayers go out to you.

Answer 20

I would suggest adoption. There are so many couples out there that want to have children but can not. Most of them will pay for your medical bills as well. Please consider this. The baby will benefit from a happy couple that can not have a child of their own that is financially stable and emotionally ready.  

Answer 21

Maybe consider adoptioni if you don't beleive in abortion. Yes you will have to go through the pregnancy but you will be giving a family a gift that will last them a lifetime.

Just a suggestion...

Answer 22

You are an adult and know what your options are. Think it thru before making a final decision. If you would like to talk about this situation on a one on one basis I am more than willing to as I was in your position before. Email me if you need to talk!

Answer 23

Google Project Rachel Talk to a counselor in your area. It will haunt you forever though. It's not something you can forget.

Answer 24

You are 26 years old.....a full grown adult and mother!  Obviously you know the right thing to do.  You are old enough and definitely capable....you just seem more scared than anything.  

I hate to be harsh, but you are old enough to know how to PREVENT a pregnancy.

Answer 25

how about having the baby and giving it up for adoption to someone who cant have a baby. how old is your first child?  i am sure that was hard too but you did it and made it work maybe you can do it again.  

Answer 26

Having an abortin will haunt you for the rest of your life. There is always the option of adoption.