I am trying to decide what to do with my son who has ADHD regarding his schooling.?

Question

My 8 yr old has always struggled in school socially and with the work. He speaks out of turn and grumbles loudly when given work he doesn't like to do. Any deviation from regular routine, such as a substitute teacher really throws him for a loop. He has been on Concerta all this year and he has been better this year than last, but things still trouble me. He feels he doesn't have friends, and it's due in large part to his behavior. Kids shy away from those that rock the boat, and my son makes plenty of waves. I have considered home-schooling before and I am back to it again. I love him dearly and we don't have out of the ordinary trouble with him at home. I want to see him succeed with his learning and I don't want him feeling like the odd man out any more. If I pull him from school it will take away that who social issue. He is fine with friends in the neighborhood. He lost his cool in a big way at school last week and verbally lashed out at a kid. It can't happen again.

Answer 1

Have you tried the Reward program with him. Take time with him and thru you show him both self respect and respect for others.Then start having awards for him, some personal. Like having special times doing special things. And Play take away ! Take away things as he messes up, teaching him the value system based on personal profit. Yup !

  He can make all the yelling false stories anger etc he wants. Butttt until he does it correctly as you show him, no rewards.   You must show him what you want of him. Be as you say. No anger issues in you, and accept none from him. This is a sure way t get his attention and gain his trust. Then build a relationship based in this trust.

  HOME SCHOOLING is the WORST IDEA EVER !

Teach him to fit in, and why he should. Then show him how cool he is, and tell him all the time. Never set him apart , bring him closer to people. Teach him about Love. He can do well as a different person, as we are all really. His problems are not so uncommon, and definitly no Leprosy, he should be Loved, and taught to be.

Answer 2

if you're looking for a med change, I suggest Focalin, it really helps with my oldest's impulse control issues and also comes in an XR form.

As for schooling, public schools are not made for ADHD kids (I know this from personal experience). I homeschool my 3 boys who are all on ADHD meds. This is not for everyone, but one of the many options. I also know that in my area, there are some really good private schools that specialize in learning disabilities such as ADHD.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

I would look into homeschooling as an option deffinitly.  I have already told my son that he can try next year but if he can't stay out of trouble because of the ADHD and possible bipolar that he may need to go back to homeschooling.  I want him to have friends but if they are acting out and not making friends they still aren't getting to work on social skills.  I would consider the homeschooling at this point, there are lots that you can do online through your local public school so they still get a great education plus they set up social events too and fieldtrips and it is all free to you since it is considered a public school just at home.  I would talk to his councler as well and make sure that the meds are right and he is getting help while there.

Answer 4

I really feel for you.  I found out that I have ADHD also.  I am 34 and I found out less than 10 yrs ago.  I know where he is at.  It is not pretty there.

I have learned to start embracing my differences especially in creativity.  People say he 'rocks the boat' because he sees things differently.  I'll bet he asks 'why?' a lot or why can't we do it this way?

I'll bet your son is very bright, but gets frustrated with the mundane 'busy' work.  If you do keep him in school, ask the school about an Individualized Education Plan (IEP).  I think this could have a positive effect on his grades.  Oh and if he is anything like me, he IS going to lose his cool again.  He needs to learn to recognize what his body is telling him when his frustration level is starting to rapidly climb, then maybe he can ask the teacher to go to the nurse or the office,  just so he can get out of the environment and walk around to clear his head.

Also you may want to figure what kind of things get him agitated quickly.  For me, one thing that really gets me torked at work is when I am at my desk and I have to smell the perfume from somebody 4 desks away.  The smell gets into my nose and won't go away.  I finally had to speak to my boss about it.

Whatever you do, don't isolate him.  Keep him in school if you can.  Harry Chapin wrote the following song because his secratary's son's report card said "Your son marches to the beat of a different drum, but don't worry we'll have him in the parade by the end of the year"  You can watch the live recording on YouTube, but here are the lyrics:

Flowers are Red

by Harry Chapin

The little boy went first day of school

He got some crayons and started to draw

He put colors all over the paper

For colors was what he saw

And the teacher said.. What you doin' young man

I'm paintin' flowers he said

She said... It's not the time for art young man

And anyway flowers are green and red

There's a time for everything young man

And a way it should be done

You've got to show concern for everyone else

For you're not the only one

And she said...

Flowers are red young man

Green leaves are green

There's no need to see flowers any other way

Than they way they always have been seen

But the little boy said...

There are so many colors in the rainbow

So many colors in the morning sun

So many colors in the flower and I see every one

Well the teacher said.. You're sassy

There's ways that things should be

And you'll paint flowers the way they are

So repeat after me.....

And she said...

Flowers are red young man

Green leaves are green

There's no need to see flowers any other way

Than they way they always have been seen

But the little boy said...

There are so many colors in the rainbow

So many colors in the morning sun

So many colors in the flower and I see every one

The teacher put him in a corner

She said.. It's for your own good..

And you won't come out 'til you get it right

And are responding like you should

Well finally he got lonely

Frightened thoughts filled his head

And he went up to the teacher

And this is what he said.. and he said

Flowers are red, green leaves are green

There's no need to see flowers any other way

Than the way they always have been seen

Time went by like it always does

And they moved to another town

And the little boy went to another school

And this is what he found

The teacher there was smilin'

She said...Painting should be fun

And there are so many colors in a flower

So let's use every one

But that little boy painted flowers

In neat rows of green and red

And when the teacher asked him why

This is what he said.. and he said

Flowers are red, green leaves are green

There's no need to see flowers any other way

Than the way they always have been seen.

God bless you and your son.

Answer 5

My brother has ADHD (He's 24 now but was diagnosed in 1st grade) He had a very hard time once he hit high school. Before that he would be in a regular classroom for part of the school day and a special education classroom the other part of the day and that worked well for him. He also had a much easier time controling it when he would do hands on activites such as working in woodshop or helping my dad work on a car or something of that sort. my parents always helped him with school work so that he got enough one on one time. maybe doing something like that would help him?

Answer 6

I think regular school for him just may be too much . He will eventually start to really act out because of frustration . Try to find a nice school for him to go to where others have his same needs and he will feel better about himself . He probably will improve alot .

Answer 7

If you do go with home schooling search your area for other home school families to plan trips and occasionally gathering so he can socialize. You can also make sure he has interaction with kids his own age by joining a church youth group (where you may also find the support you need) or cub/boy scouts. Try to involve him in organize sports in your community. He may want to try harder to get back to regular school and stay there if he makes a connection with other kids. Also parents of kids with add/adhd often need support or just someone to talk to who understands how difficult it can be, don't forget to take care of yourself. Research a support group for parents of children with add/adhd. They are out there and they can help you with decisions like this. Good luck.

Answer 8

I was an active child when I was young, the teacher told my mother that I had ADHD.. When I could sit and do everything I physically was INTERESTED in at home.. But at school I was this horrible child to all the teachers except a few... So the teachers put me in a special "program" for hands on learning, and they put me into councelling, as well as told my mother that I needed drugs to succeed in learning. I never did well in elementary and guess what.. My mom pulled me out of that school and put me in a different school.... and the next grade I ended up with 90's in every single class because I took the faith to actually try and succeed. It may not be ADHD although I am not a doctor but teachers are not medical professionals you know? Anyways I am not a doctor.. But I am just speaking from experience.. He may just be an active boy that wants to get his energy out and have fun instead of being stuck in a classroom. Thats my opinion.. Not a diagnosis however. Oh.. and I'm speaking to you as a future university student.... So I wish the best for you.