I am trying to figure out, why my childrens step mom refers to them as her children...?

Question

for example: in her photo captions she says "this is my son and his wife,thats bringing me a grandson", when i believe it should state, " this is my step-son and his wife thats bringing me a step-grandson".......

Answer 1

ugh, my ex's wife does the same thing. It's annoying and they should be shot for claiming someone else's child.

Answer 2

She thinks of your son as her own. As a woman that is with someone with a child from a previous relationship, when she is with me I introduce her as my daughter. I love her like she is mine but in no way am I trying to replace her mom. To me calling her my step child is so impersonal.

Answer 3

She considers your son as her son.

That's what my stepmom doing to me also.

Answer 4

Your not petty, obviously this is an issue for you. I had the same problem and my kids hate it.(and her now) I remarried and they where young and chose to call my spouce dad. Never pushed the issue. But when my ex remarried they made them immediatly call her Mom. Fortinatly she would say oh its so hard having twins and more then a few times someone else has said oh you mean your step twins that live with their mom!! LOL best feeling! Obviously your son is older, and your best bet would be to just ignore it because it really won't affect your relationship with him. He knows who his mom is.

Answer 5

i'd run her *** over...... but i just got off probation .... :)

no, who does she think she is claiming YOUR babies as HERS. that doesnt fly with me..... h**l no. they better not call her MOMMY.  deal with it how you wish but that just pisses me off.... dont be an idiot... slash her tires now

take the ***** down!!!!!

Answer 6

It must be wishful thinking. It's kind of a compliment to you.  You raised a kid well enough that she'd love for them to be her own.

Answer 7

She wishes they were!

Answer 8

I think it would depend on how close they were.

If she brought them up, they lived with her as children, she was "mother to them" then this is fair.

If they mostly spent no more than weekend access visits with her, she never was mum to them so should not say "my son".; stepson would be more appropriate.

If the children were close to or fully grown up when she came into the picture, she should not even call them her anything. She should say "my husband's son...". but ok to say "bringing US a grandson" , as she will be in a de facto grandmother relationship with the child, being the grandfather's wife. The kid will just have an extra grandmother.

A "step grandson" would be, I think, your adult child's stepson, not your stepson's natural son.

You are right to FEEL this somehow pushes you out of the picture (literally). But if she is showing the pictures to people who know the situation, they do know so it doesn't matter what wording she uses.. And people who don't know the situation don't know you, either, so it does not reflect on you in any way.

Let her have her little vanity. Maybe she's jealous (or sad) she didn't have such a nice son of her own. The kid will really be YOUR grandson, no matter what.

Answer 9

Even though I don't agree with it, wouldn't you rather she did that than treatin your children like scum?

Don't get me wrong, it would totally flip me off as well but maybe you should tell her it's rather annoying and you wish she'd quit it...I'm sure she'll understand where you coming from and back off?

Answer 10

Its nothing, she just loves them like her own.

Nothing can ever replace you in your childs life,

and i'm sure this women knows it!

She just loves teh kids too, and she was happy she has a grandson, she can call it that, when you get a step mom do you call tehm by saying: stepmom can youcome here?,

no, you say mom, or call them by there first name.

Its nothing to be mad about

Answer 11

You are simply too petty to see the big picture here. It is rare to find a step mom that loves and treats their step children as their own biological kids. Be thankful for that instead of negative and critical. Being a parent is not always biological. Apparently she is more mature than you are and has a better understanding on life, because when you marry someone with children you are supposed to treat them like your own children. That's whats wrong with the world always trying to separate things into groups and categories. If your ex-husband has ever paid child support or bought things for your children then I am sure that affects her income as well but I bet you didn't refer to her as a step mom when you cashed those checks. Get over yourself

Answer 12

I think it's way better than the alternative.  How lonesome it must be to always be someone's STEP child.  It seems to me that it's healthier for children to feel they belong.  People who know her the best, they know he is YOUR son and her step-son.  Let it go.  Get over yourself.  You should be happy someone cares so deeply for your kids.

Answer 13

as a child i was legally forced to have weekends with my dad and step mom she introduced me as her daughter i corrected has by letting everyone kno she wasnt my mother just make sure she is not trying to take you place like my step mother did

Answer 14

it's a compliment you should be glad she loves your son as her own just like you love your son because he is your son.

Answer 15

Well It seems normal they do have the title "step- MOM" and seince that inculdes mom maybe they think they are part mom.but calling your step son s**y and only having a five year differance is scary.

Answer 16

She loves your children as if they were her own. Be happy for the kids. Try not to let your anger cloud their relationship with their father's new wife. They may be married a long time and unfortunately you'll have to get used to the idea. I went through it and I put the kids above my own resentments. Just grit your teeth and bear it. That's about all you can do. It sucks, but that's the way the cards were dealt.