I am trying to succeed, but I can't?

Question

My 24th birthday arrives in two weeks and I am searching for answers. I am in grad school in math; i am passionate about my research and all that...but i am also acutely aware of my $16K income. I know I am no longer a little kid; it is impossible to pretend that people my age are not succeeding in life. I am stuck in a glut of low income, poorest neighborhoods with zero social respect and uncertain future. I know i am making myself ridiculous by the day. I try to better myself, apart from math i have taught myself foreign languages... I try to learn something new each day. But I know that my face is stamped with $16K...it is like a damning beacon of shame ... and that figure alone defines me in society. No one denied me opportunities and choices growing up... If i were capable, it would show on my paycheck.. at least I would be able to maintain a social status above disaster levels. Instead I seem to be one with the lowest lowest lowest bracket of society. I am trying to win... I am trying to dream...but I can't...what can I do? Do i do something radical? What change do I make? How can I make people see me not as a loser...but a winner? They told me I was smart in high school...so they told me in college and so they tell me in grad school.. I dont know if they say this to everyone... maybe thats what they do... I should be able to figure this out... I should not have to shrink in shame when I have to introduce myself or talk to a cousin or face my grandparents.

Answer 1

You REALLY must STOP basing your self worth on the amount of money you earn. Do you earn money doing your research? Or, do you have a job that does not involve the degree you are seeking? You really have to look at what you are doing right now and feel good about the fact that you are working towards your future. You have something that many people don't have. You have a passion for what you are doing with your research. Too many people go through life without passion for their work. Imagine how they must feel when they are 40 or 50 years old. You are very fortunate to know your passion.

You have this misconception that people at your age are already successful. You are only 24 years old! Give yourself some time. Finish your degree. And enjoy your work. The money will come.

Oh, and what is so important about social status? Stop looking at what other people have and look more closely at what you have already and what you are working toward. You are way ahead of the game already.

Answer 2

Tom..........was there....am there....seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I too am in Grad school  getting my MBA to better myself, I have TWO kids.......want a nice house....a nice car...money in the bank....Etc. DO NOT think of yourself as a failure. Without going too religious on you but that is what the devil wants. You need to believe in yourself, hold your head high, and know that it will happen for you. I currently work a minimum wage job...less than 30 hours a week but I still maintain. You need to figure out what it is that you are doing wrong and change them. I went to my schools career center and had them redo my resume. Everyone I talk to I get their name and try to find out where they work. (I network my butt off) i have people looking for jobs for me! I stay positive because I know that this is just temporary for me. If it means that you start at the bottom then do it.(I didn't like that one either..with my BS I shouldn;t have to) but it will pay off.

There is so much more I could tell you, but this would be really long. If you need some more ideas or just want to vent email me at [e-mail]

Answer 3

If you want to be loved by others then you have to learn to love yourself first. You seem too concerned with what other people think of you. Besides, if someone judges you by your income, would you really want them to be your frined!? Now way! Take control of your life and do what YOU want to do. Not what you think other's would want you to do.

Hang it there. You'll find your place in the world. You're getting a gard degree and that is something of great value. If you can specialize in your particualr area, there WILL be a demand for your skills.

1 year from now, you'll look back at yourself today and say, why was I worring so much???

All the best

Answer 4

I highly Doubt you got a degree in Math for money.

Order Tony Robbins or something. You sound pretty pathetic. Positive energy is attracted to positive energy.

Answer 5

Main key to succeed is patience and positive thinking........u ll get evrything but try hard be patient and positive

Answer 6

While I think its important to know learn new things everyday, I think its good to narrow down what you want to do. If $16K is shameful to you, then look for something else. Its never too late to do anything -- don't let this deter you from doing anything you want to do.

If you define success through money, then find a job that pays better. Just because you majored in Mathematics doesn't mean that you have to do something that is only math. With an interest in the financial markets, you can apply your math knowledge to the job; Investment banking is one that I can think of on the top of my head.

If you're stuck on what careers to go into, the best thing is to ask. Don't be ashamed of asking. We're young so its okay to ask. Talk to people about what they do, ask why they like it. Ask them how they picked their career path. You'll discover things you've never heard of, and maybe even develop an interest for something you never thought you'd be interest in.

Don't let your unhappiness with your current situation pull you down. In my opinion, character and attitude is much more important than smarts.  

Answer 7

Perhaps it would help to back up a bit and look at this more objectively. You're in grad school. I assume full-time. And learning languages on the side. Amazing. IMHO, grad school is a 100% commitment - it's great that you're earning an income on top of your studies. Is this through teaching undergraduates, by any chance?

However you're earning money, I see no reason to apologize for your status. You're pursuing a graduate degree. A master's. A doctorate. Whatever. I know grad students who are pulling their hair out with all the work they have on their plates.

You're doing important research; you're going to have a fantastic job one day soon. When you talk to friends and family, sound excited about what you're doing, since you're truly passionate about what you do.

The other respondent is right in that sending out positive energy attracts positive results. Yes, it's tough to be living in unpleasant surroundings, but it won't always be like this.

Whatever you do, don't sit around berating yourself. Go for walks, join a gym, get out of your head. Best of luck to you, and I hope you can realize how fortunate you are to be good at what you're passionate about. Not everyone is so lucky.

Good luck!