I am unsure about having a 2nd child. Are you an only child? Are you happy with that? Wish you had a sibling?

Question

I have a 21 month old daughter whom I adore. I am totally in love with her and feel that she is more than enough. However, the people I've spoken to who are 'only children' have said that they wish they had siblings. People say that only children miss out on a lot not having siblings. Other people say only children are often self centered and have to shoulder too much responsibility. I am torn. I don't want to have another child just to please my first one, but nor do I want her to miss out just because I am so tired and also don't know if I have the energy for another child. What do you think? What are your experiences as children or parents?

Answer 1

eh, Im an only child. sometimes i wish i had a brother of sister. but its also good that i dont cos there is hardly any fighting over things. and no favourites. but some research say that children with no siblings can have problems with their social life but are also very hard working and achieve great things because they have no sibling interupting them just encouraging parents.

Answer 2

Most only-children are spoiled beyond belief and have trouble fitting in in later life, not being able to share.  They also don't compromise and have to have everything go their way.

Answer 3

im an only child and i find it really good. u learn how to be independant. u get lots of attention. it is kinda boring after skool and stuff but that's the only real thing that's bad. i think it can also be bad that you can't tell something private (like something u woud to your sis).

if you don't want another child then don't have one just for the sake of it. wait for the right moment if u want to. hope everything works out with your family.

Answer 4

Well it would be good for your daughter to have a sister or brother. I have a friend that I used to tell him that they needed to have another child. I have 2 by the way. He and his wife did not have another child. His son is now 13, and he wishes that they would have had another child. We are both telling another co-worker that they should have a second child. Although you have to make the decision. I also had only one brother and we always wished for another. I have heard of that a lot. Good luck what ever way you go.

Answer 5

I find the 2nd one is a handful but once they bond with the sibbling I find I have more time to myself than I would have if i only had 1. They can nag each other and keep each other company. I have 2 and this is what they do

Answer 6

have you read your question??.......

DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER CHILD ....no, let me rephrase that...

DO NOT BRING ANOTHER CHILD INTO THIS WORLD, IF YOU ARE "NOT SURE"!!!!!!

We are talking about a human life here, not a pair of shoes.  We dont have kids to satisfy others opinions.  I dont see anything for an only child to miss out on as long as you provide them with love, nurturing, respect, afection, attention, and introduce them to other playmates occassionally.  (i'm sure there is a play park near your home where other children play)  if only children become self-centered, maybe its because thats how their parents acted!

as a sister, i would have given anything to be an only child.  But, then, my parents never allowed us to be friends...everything was a competition.  

As a single mom, i dont think my only child is missing out on anything.  and i would love to have another but because i would love to HAVE another child, not just to satisfy my child's or frinds' wishes.  

Answer 7

I would, but not only for your daughter but for your whole family. I say the more the marrier.

Answer 8

I am a single child. Ive never had the warm conversations around the dinner table, with other siblings to lightly poke fun at. Ive never had the loyalty of blood to confide in and to trust - ive been alone. I will never have big family get togethers - who will be at my christmas or easter, unless i marry and my husband has a big family?

To always be alone - is not good. I would never have only one child. I look at my best friend who is a twin, also with an older sister, and wish i was lucky enough to have someone so close to me like her sisters are to her.

It is a lonely life without family - and i dont mean all the a** hole relatives that most family are. Siblings are special... if you raise them to love and trust and be loyal to one another, you give your daughter the most important and valuable gift that you are capable of.

I hope you have another child  :o)  ... but you really dont sound like you want to. If you ever did, you realise that you would have double the joy?

Answer 9

only children wish they had siblings if they aren't spoiled.

children with siblings wish they were an only child.

Answer 10

you cant miss what you never had

i have a brother but it wouldnt effect me if he wasnt there, not saying i dont want him or it wouldnt affect me but what can you miss what you have never had

2 kids is a good number not to big, and a play mate for eachother when their young.

Answer 11

I am the only child of two only children!  When I was young, I wished so much for a sister or brother.  I was very jealous of friends who did have siblings.  The sister I wanted would have been perfect, we never would have fought, always would get along, be friends forever. Ahh, such fantasies!   It has taken me 60 years to realize it really is not so bad being an only child. Yes, I had the whole responsibility of taking care of my mom after my dad passed. Mom liked me best - I could do no wrong!  I realized that I was never compared to anyone else, no one ever forbid me to see or talk to my mom, and my parents thought my kids were the best grandkids ever.  It has taken me all this time to see what happens in other families, the feuds, heartbreak, sisters & brothers taking sides, I did miss that give and take you have arguing with siblings, I am still very sensitive about that.  I feel bad that my kids have no aunts or uncles or cousinn on my side.  I had three kids, very close together, no only child for me!  The kids are grown and not close at all.  If it weren't for me herding them together during the holidays, they probably wouldn't see each other at all.

Give your ONE child all sorts of experiences, interactions with other kids, etc.  She will be fine.  I find now that I enjoy the solitude of being alone and actually enjoy doing things by myself. Even though I swore when I grew up I was going to write a book titled "The Only Child is A Lonely Child"!! I think with birth control these days, being an only child is not the oddity that it was when I was young.  Good Luck!  If you do happen to get pregnant again, so be it. You will love all your children.