I am very concerned about my son who's about to be 11 years old. i've always felt he has an emotional problem

Question

its weird because i have had conferences in school and have shared my worries with teachers and they always tell me he's a good student and works very hard. on the other hand, when he comes home, he's easily frustrated with work and sometimes even talks about wanting to die. i have also noticed that he does alot of rocking back and forth, cant sit still half of the time. all he wants to do is play video games and soldiers. there is nothing anyone can tell him about his wrong doing because he always takes it offensively. he is very emotional to alot of things. he cries easily and usually rather be by himself. he doesn't like to go outside and play like a normal 10 yr. old boy would. this has always made me wonder if there is some kind of mental issue going on with him. i had also mentioned it to his pediatrician but never got anywhere with it. as he gets older, i notice him making lots of smart remarks. i always try to tell him that if his sister(almost 19) or myself tell him something he's doing is wrong, its only because we want him to learn and try to do right. what advice can u give me to help my boy....i am very confused!

Answer 1

You can call around to local universities and find out if they have counseling departments.  These are great because they can't prescribe medicines, but will have students who are gathering practicum hours and are specializing in different kinds of counseling.  Only masters and doctoral students who are trained in age-appropriate techniques can work with children, and they work on a sliding scale fee.  The good side of this is that these students have not been in private practice for years, are not limited by insurance to medicate and go on, or to limit sessions to 2-4 like an insurance might.  They are also being supervised by Ph.D counselors all the time.  Look for an university that is accredited by CACREP.  

Answer 2

Hmm, your right, there does seem to be something seriously wrong, have you considered maybe taking him to a therapist.  Im not one, but if I were to diagnose him, Id say he has depression, which is very dangerous.  I think that would be the right thing to do, good luck!!!!

Answer 3

Does he have a lot of friends in school or does he get picked on? Also is he into sports or not. Sounds like he's a bit of an introvert. Taking him to a psychologist will probably do no good, since they just classify everything as ADD/ADHD nowadays.

Answer 4

You need to get that kid some Psychiatric help because he is the classic type of personality that grows up to be a SERIAL KILLER or at the least an abusive personality.

When you see him torturing small animals, you know that humans are next on his hit list... That kid needs HELP... and the sooner the better... and TAKE THOSE d**n GAMES AWAY FROM HIM... especially the computer he is using to WATCH p**n with.

Answer 5

your son sounds like a bright kid, and i noticed you didnt mention a man in his life. boys at his age tend to be emotional and really need a male role model, this gives him someone to talk things out with, and a bluepint on how to go about the task of growing up to be a man. im not being judgemental here, perhaps there is a mentoring program in your area, or a big brother organization. also since you are concerned about his safety, (sounds like you have good reason) you might lok into counciling services in your area, thru a church or school you can get recomendations on such places. many are free or based on your ability to pay. i would however be gentile in getting him started in such matters, i remember my son was very upset when a medicine was perscribed for mild depression, he claimed he wouldnt take it he wasnt a freak. so go slow, but you are right to be concerned, also there is hope, his intellecence and energy may make it hard for him for now but most overachivers go thru emotional dificulties in theyre youth

Answer 6

I'm thinking in the area of that he might be lonely?

Does he have many friends at school? if not, encourage him to join afterschool clubs or something, just things that will encourage him to go out more and play with other children, so he's not at home by himself.

Ask him if he's doing alright with school, and make sure he isn't being teased by the other children.

He sounds like a very emotional child, as you said he cries easily, maybe he's just shy, and struggles being around other people, so he likes his own space, like with his video games and soldiers, if so then leave him be.

If you thinks something is bothering him, then the best way to sort it out is to communicate with him and perhaps if you think he needs it, try getting your pedatrician to help because you think its a problem.

Good luck.

Ask Phoebe.

Answer 7

Have you thought about taking him to a psychiatrist for an evaluation?  Sounds to me like you have a legitimate concern.

I thought about autism and manic depression or bipolar when i read your situation.  

I am in no way qualified to diagnose your son, so for your own peace of mind and for your son just take him to be evaluated.

There are family service places that you can take him if money and insurance are an issue.

Best to you

Answer 8

As the parent, you have much more insight into your child than his doctor or his teachers.  The isolation and rocking would concern me, too.  The suggestion to try a university with a psych clinic is a good one.  If you have the resources, a psychologist (not psychiatrist) who specializes in peds is a good option.  Psychologists can evaluate and do therapy.  They cannot prescribe meds, but they can recommend one see a psychiatrist for further assessment and medication.  I personally would be reluctant to go there, so if that is the recommendation, I'd get a second opinion.  Based on what you've described, most likely it won't be anyway.

The next time you have a parent teacher conference, ask very pointedly who his friends are, how much time he spends with them in and out of class, and how carefree and positive the interactions are.  Teachers can say there is no problem because a kid is well behaved and performs academically while missing that they are not socializing fully.

Oh, if your son does have a problem, it is much better to identify it and deal with it while he is young.  Just don't brand him and make him feel like he is less a person because of whatever the issue is.

Answer 9

I would talk to the pediatrician again.  This time push to see a specialist.

It does sound to me as though he may have some emotional issues.  I would definitely try and get him some help, especially if he talks about wanting to die.  See if there is a psychiatric hospital in the area with a department for kids.

Although, some of his symptoms remind me of my little cousin, he had some of the same symptoms.  Rocking back and forth, not listening, being extremely emotional and taking things offensively.  He was diagnosed as mildly autistic.  Where the autism affected his personality more then his ability to learn.