I am wanting a baby so bad!?

Question

I am not married but have lived with my boyfriend of 2 years for 1 year. I want a baby so bad that i can seriously feel pain in my body when i think about having one. We want to do things the "right way" and get married, then start having kids and we talk about getting married all the time, but everytime we have a fight he tells me its that much longer til we get married. Like he is using fighting as an excuse to not get married. So I honestly have no idea when and if we will ever get married. I lost my son a year and a half ago when he was 2 yrs old to heart failure and at first i thought i would never want kids again because i would feel like i was trying to replace him. Now i feel a huge void in my life and i ache for a baby every single day. I don't dare to bring this topic up with my boyfriend but it effects me so bad to the point of feeling depressed. Maybe i need to see a therapist. Any advise?

Answer 1

tell your husband how you feel and how you want to get married and have children  

Answer 2

Your best bet would be to sit down with your boyfriend, and have a one-on-one talk with each other. Don't turn it into an argument, just tell him how you feel about it, and let him do the same in return. There's really nothing else I can tell you, but I hoped I helped out at least a little bit.

Answer 3

tell him how you really feel.   Its the only way you will know if things are going to happen.    

Answer 4

Hi. The fact that your boyfriend is threatening you with the wedding when you fight is unacceptable. You should tell him that it's not ok and how it makes you feel when he does that. Of course, when you argue, he does not feel like marrying you. But arguments are a part of every marriage and if he can't deal with it, maybe he's just not ready for marriage -or a serious relationship.

I don't think it's the case, though. I think he's just using it as a manipulation tool, which is just as bad. So sit down with him and let him know he can not use it like that anymore.

Good luck

Answer 5

i'd go to counseling for that.

& what good is a 'boyfriend' if you can't talk to him about stuff like this?

especially if you've been with him for such a long time. (well, sort of)

&

i'm sorry about your son.

Answer 6

I think you should try to speak with your boyfriend before talking to a therapist. If he really loves you, he'll care about what you have to say and how you feel. Especially if he knows about your past. A baby is a blessing, and I know you may feel trapped, but let time solve everything. Do what you CAN do which is speak to your boyfriend, take everything calmly, and realize that you WILL have a baby when the time is right. And I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother again. But don't stress out over it. Remember that when people are in fights they say things they don't mean. However, if your boyfriend ignores your feelings after you try to really talk to him, you should leave him... Best of luck.

Answer 7

I know you have been with him for a long time but he shouldnt use fighting as an excuse. All couples have their spats, its what helps you grow together. You should also feel that you can go to him about anything, especially if something is bothering you. I only know my husband for a little over a year before we got married, he is my best friend. We are also trying to have a baby so I feel your pain, it is a very hard time. Especially if it is hard to get pregnant. I think you should try to talk to him and if it ends up in nothing more than a fight then maybe it might be time to take a break. I know my advice is probably depressing but I believe that everything happens for a reason and it will all work out in the end. Blessed be.

Answer 8

maybe you are feeling like you need a baby because the baby will always love you, and the boyfriend doesn't sound like he does. i would definitely not go having children with this guy when he is so immature to tell you that you will have to wait longer to get married every time you fight, like its some kind of punishment. i really see him as being a pretty crappy dad. sorry but that's my opinion. you should wait until your married regardless, but i would think about finding someone else to marry in the mean time.  

Answer 9

first of all i am so sorry for your loss. i cannot imagine what it must feel like to lose a child. as far as the therapy goes, i would think losing a child would be ample reason for it. and with all the added depression coming from wanting a baby, i would definitely advise that you talk to someone. it's not right for your boyfriend to use fighting as an excuse not to get married. you need to have a talk with him.. lay it all out there. let him know exactly how you feel... if he is isn't wanting to get married or have a baby with you, maybe you shouldn't be in this relationship. good luck!

Answer 10

I FEEL YOUR PAIN I HAD A MISCARRIAGE IN DEC 07 WITH MY FIANCE NOW, I WANT ANOTHER BABY SO BAD BUT HE KEEPS TELLING ME TO WAIT HE ISNT READY BUT WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT BEFORE HE WAS SUPER EXCITED, I AM GOING TO THE DOCTOR ON THE 25 CAUSE EVER SINCE MY MISCARRIAGE I DONT OVULATE BUT AFTER MY MISSCARRIAGE I HAD TO GO TO COUSLING I WAS DEPPRESSED AND THOUGHT GOD HATED ME. AND IT WORKED MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST GO TO A COUNSLOR FOR A FEW WEEKS IT WILL HELP TO GET IT ALL OUT

Answer 11

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. That is devastating :(

As for your bf, you should dump him and find someone who will actually marry you. Trust me, married people fight too, it's just part of living and loving someone. If he's acting like you guys can't get married b/c you have the occasional argument then he is just using that as an excuse.

There are men out there who actually WANT to get married, and the sooner you leave your bf the sooner you will find one of those men. And then you can have your baby and feel good about it!

In the meantime, you could get a cat to cuddle with and to spoil. It doesn't take the place of a real baby but it is a distraction for now. Good luck!

Answer 12

You need professional advice, sorry for your lost..seek for a good therapist.  GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 13

Common law you are are ready married, if you have been living together for that long. My uncle lived with my aunt for 2 years just as boyfriend and girlfriend, they had a kid 5 years before they got Ceremonially married. Common law is that if you live together for that long you are already married. Go head and have a kid. Maybe you should see a therapist. Hope I helped.

Answer 14

Maybe you are with the wrong guy?  You should be with someone that is grown up enough to not use marriage as a weapon.  Good luck.  I hope you get the baby you are wanting so bad and I am so sorry about your son.