I am worried i am letting my life slip by ?

Question

i am 33 years old, divorced after almost 10 years ,no kids due to the lack of work and all the debt from my marriage i had to go bankrupt and i am getting kinda depressed i feel like i have messed up so bad. i didn't go to school so i went into the trades now in this bad economy i am finding it very hard to get steady work when a year ago i had people lining up to pay me top dollar i have been doing carpentry for a long time and i like it but i am frustrated and a little desperate. in other parts of my life i am finding it hard to meet a woman that shares my values and beliefs and i worry i have missed the boat cause i was married in my 20's so i picked wrong and now the pickens are slim, I really want to have a family someday but i am not so foolish to think i can support one right now but if i get much older then i will have a harder and harder time meeting women that want to start a family(because of her age) oh well i just needed to blow off some steam and maby a few comments on my situation might help me see things differently

Answer 1

Dude you're 33.  You're not dead.  You need to be a little more positive.  I was 34 when I met my husband.  He was 36.  We're 37 & 39 now.  Neither of us had been married before.  My best friend is 39 & he's finally in a good relationship with a girl that has also never been married.  Life doesn't stop at 20.  It's a little harder to meet people but it's not impossible.

And welcome to the club.  I got laid off too.  There was a time for most of us when life was just going well.  Getting paid probably more than we're even worth.  That turned into struggling just to keep a job.  All of my friends & old co-workers got laid off too.  You can blame that on our current President & VOTE.  

Answer 2

mate first of all u'll have to trust me that u'll be FINE. well i know how hard it is. coz i hav ebeen in the same shoes ur right now. i was married at 21 and divorsed at 22!!. it was bloody awfull. i was nearly bankkurpt. same story as urs. over 15 large debth. i was on drugs full on. didnt even leave home for 3 months. only pizza delivaries. proof. when i moved out i had over 100 pizza boxes !!! 1 week rehab. dreams to be F*****g rich. i've worked hard for last 4 years. well my situation is better that before. have better job, car . yes i still sometimes think of past. cos u cant escape memory. but hey its life.

i even tried to take out my life. so if i can do it u can do it too. mine i loved and trusted more than god. so u know how hard it was. but anyway keep ur heads up. things will only get better. i an 27 now btw. single. i will never marry and dont want any children.

and i wish u all the best in ur new life. dont forget keep ur head up !!!

Answer 3

Get a grip, man!  So you're 33. Big deal. Tired of the hard realities of the trades? You can fix that. Think pickin's are slim. Ha! Good Lord, 30-something woman looking for husbands and kids are out there looking by the thousands, and there's going to be a bunch looking five years from now. .

Okay. Just as an exercise for now. What would you do if you could? Change occupations? Go to college? If goofus 18 year old kids can work their way through school, don't tell me an older guy can't do it. Would it be kinda hard? Probably,  but easier than a lot of jobs you did. You telling me you can't stand three or three and a half years of eating beans, riding the bus, and living with four housemates to pull it off. See, those kids think they just can't stand more than 12 hours of class a week. Shoot, you're used to working more than that in overtime, and you don't have to spend summers in idle play. And you'd be three times the student you'd have been 15 years ago, because you know what's up and what it means, and you're not thinking about 'tang and parties all the time like the kids next to you. You telling me that, after doing hard trade work, you can't do the easier stuff that students get for jobs? Want to be a firefighter? Get in shape and apply. You're not too old by a long shot. (Okay, maybe you only have a couple of years left to apply for some of them.)

Too old? Ha! You could do 20 or 25 years starting now and retire in your 50's and still have time yet another career. So what if you get something going and then start a family when you're 40. At 58, you won't likely embarrass your kid by drooling in your wheelchair at high school graduation.

Create your own reality. See yourself, 30 years from now, house, wife, kids grown, retirement coming up. The trick is to cast off all those things you think are limitations and see the possibilities. Pick one, and go for it. Start Tuesday. Draw your needs in. Go for the new occupation. Want school? Work your butt off while you apply for junior college in the spring.  

Answer 4

Your young you still have plenty of time to find someone and have a family.  Many women are having children in their forties.  So even if it takes you a few years to meet the right one.  There will be plenty to choose from.

Answer 5

I know it sounds crazy, but I was in a simular circumstance years ago.  I went to a Russian Marriage agency, and wrote a few women eventually weeding them down to what I flt was the best one,

I visited her and after a couple years , married her and brought her here.

I am and have been so exited and thrilled by my choice !

Email me privatly, and Ill give you better details and  how to "shop", as well as who I used to find my beloved wife.

Answer 6

there are only 2 types of people in life...........victims and survivors.  which one are you?  you  need to decide that right now and set your course accordingly.

if you're a victim, then let life roll all over you and take it.  whine and complain and be bitter.

if you're a survivor, then get up and do something about your lot in life.  get a part time job, go to college, change careers, make new friends, whatever it takes.  but stop whining and complaining and be pro-active.

as for women.  don't make that your focus.  you'll meet someone when you're emotionally ready.

Answer 7

Don't worry too much about meeting a girl, just concentrate on yourself and I am sure it will all fall into place.  Start up a hobby, preferably something that involves a network so you can develop new relationships.  Maybe even do an adult education course to steer into a career.

I reckon while you are getting your life back in order a special woman will come into your path without even trying.

Good luck - just start to enjoy life and the little things in everything that makes it beautiful.

Answer 8

You are a bloke - you can go out with any girl who is younger then you it is a norm - women normally go out with men older then them for security.

Okay so work not so good - find an adult education center and do some exams - work out what future you want see what you can do with the trade you know perhaps something specialised - move countries it could be good for you - be more positive and stop swiming in your poo - love yourself no one else will

Answer 9

You're probably a great catch. I'm single lol

Answer 10

Sorry to hear about everything. But cheer up it's never to late. My husband and I didn't meet and marry till he was 32. And I am 4 years younger then him. Remember if you find the right woman no matter what your ages you can have a family\. There are tons of children  looking for families for the job, I think everyone is in the same boat. I am. Just take it one day at a time. And if your feeling down do something nice for yourself. I collect Snoop. So when I am down I look for snoopy stuff are crochet what ever I can afford. You'll find a good woman I know it. (:

Answer 11

lots of people meet when theyre a bit older i dont think its bad personally im sorry to hear about your situation i hope everything will get better for you i would tell you to start dating more but i dont think that would help...maybe try to get a little more stable then go fishing!! i hope you find the right one for you

good luck!!

Answer 12

Your still young. Find a hot 20 year old!