I am worried what i am going to tell my fiance.

Question

we got engaged in feb and planned to get married next may but then he got a job transfer to canada for next march so we brought the wedding forward to novemeber but i havent been able to save as much as i thought i would (due to things i didnt fore-see like having to pay to have dentist work done and then my family from usa came to whitby so we had to travel over there for a few days to see them) and theres only 4 months to go and i am £500 down on my side. im worried he will shout at me. when i knew we had to bring the wedding forward i shaved over £3000 off the wedding and made alot of sacrifices for things i wanted in order to bring the budget down but i dont want to make him angry at me...any ways of approaching the subject?

Answer 1

This kind of issue will surface throughout life. You need to be honest with him and tell him what you've told us. Ask him to help you figure out ways to work within your new budget, and that you are determined to figure it out, but would appreciate his advice. The point is.......talk to him as an adult partner and not as a child going to a parent because they've made a mistake.  

Answer 2

1: You shouldnt be with him if that makes him angry

2: Sell anything you dont need

3:Its supposed to be fun getting married if you want it to happen it will

4: Good luck tell him

Answer 3

You don't want to start you married life with a secret. I think that the most important thing to do is to sit down and tell him how you are feeling. Tell him you are disappointed that a few things came up unexpectedly but that while you spent money elsewhere, you also gave up things to cut down the budget. Couples most often fight about financial issues and you don't want this type of thing to be unapproachable. The more open you guys are the better chances you have for a happy marriage. You shouldn't keep this a secret.  

Answer 4

You've not made your husband sound like a bad man, so I don't understand why people are saying that you should be afraid of him. And if he loves you the way you love him, then you shouldn't be afraid either!

You need to talk to him about things, explain it the way you have here. He should understand. It's not his fault that you have to move, but it's not your fault either.

Perhaps ask around family to drag together the £500.

Answer 5

im sure he wont care! all that matters is that guys are getting married, you have made sacrifices then so should he. if he reactes badly then maybe he isnt the one for you. id approach the subject by say "i love you and i cant wait to get married, but we need to talk about the money side of things " good luck, hope it goes ok

Answer 6

Basically, he took the job which forced the wedding forward, so he cant moan or get angry cos youve not managed to save as much as you thought.  Hows his part of the savings going by the way?  Perhaps hes a little behind too.

Answer 7

I'm sure if he loves you he'll understand.

Relationships always have the testing times and I'm sure you'll get through it whatever.

Good luck.

Answer 8

You appear to be marrying the wrong man. It's so sad that you can't seem to see that your life with this idiot is likely to be miserable. Ah well. Make your bed and lie on it they say.

Answer 9

Honesty is important in a relationship, so stop delaying and learn to communicate!

Answer 10

Welcome to the world of shared finances.  You are going to sit down with him, with your receipts, and you're going to explain to him how you ended up short, and why.  You're going to be business-like about it, and ask for his help in deciding how to shave down expenses for the wedding.  You may end up having to completely revamp your wedding plans -- hey, it happens.  Life isn't predictable and you have to roll with it.  What's more important -- a one-day event, or your teeth that you're going to have for the rest of your life?  It's really important that your priorities are shared, and that begins with wedding expenses.  It's hard, but this is the man you love, and you will find a solution.  Just don't try to shift blame, make excuses, or wallow in self-pity.  Those things will just tick him off.  State the facts.

Good luck to you!

Answer 11

If you are worried that having an honest conversation with him is going to be a conflict, then maybe you should postpone the wedding!

It is a partnership and he needs to understand when problems come up, not shout and get angry!  Did you shout and get angry when he accepted the job, or moved the wedding date up...?

By the way, did he ask you before he made the decision to take a job far away?

If he can't handle problems now, what is it going to be like later?

Tell him that!

Answer 12

Calmly tell him the truth.  If you can't openly and honestly discuss finances with your fiance, you are in a lot more trouble than a little wedding budget shortfall.

Additionally, see what else you can shave off.  There are always more places to cut things.  If that absoutely cannot happen, then just cancel the whole thing and wait until you can afford it.

Answer 13

get a loan  

Answer 14

Tell him and if he gets angry....RUN.