I am writing a argument essay about adoption. is it okay for children knowing their birth parents why?

Question

adoption knowing their birth parents

Answer 1

lots of parents are choosing open adoption so the birth mom (maybe dad too?) can keep in touch.  Some of the reasons given are that the child can ask the birth mom questions as s/he grows up and will have a connection to that part of themselves (culture, genetics, etc.)  also, the child won't be dreaming about who their birth parents might be because that can sometimes lead to disappointments.

Answer 2

Your question is odd.  You are allowing people who are ignorant of an adoptee's mindset to judge what is good for an adoptee.

Some adoptees spend some time every day wondering about the family history and ties they lost.  It is a natural consequence of a culture that puts tremendous value on genetics and family.  Imagine spending a significant portion of your life obsessively thinking about the same idea.  Is that healthy?



Many adoptees who have been in reunion with their natural families will have wonderful stories.  Others will have sad tales.  But each and every one of them can say they have been released from a tremendous burden; they can focus on who they are in the present, now that they have found the truth that they so desperately needed.

It is not only okay for adoptees to know their natural parents, it is a right they should have, one they may chose to exercise or leave open.

Answer 3

I think it depends on the relinquishing parent(s) and the child.  If they want to have a relationship then I think it's fine provided there is not an element of danger and does not infringe on the rights of the adoptive parents.

I think open adoption is wonderful.  Most adopted adults and children at least have curiosity if not an overwhelming need to know their first parents.  Having that opportunity can be nurturing and it allows for more love in their life.  More people to love and nurture the child.

There are adoptive parents who do not want to "share" their adopted children with their first parent(s) but I think that mentality is currently uncommon.  Antiquated.  Just my opinion and one I base on experiences I  read on adoption forums in addition to shared information amongst friends from all triad positions.

Adoption has changed quite a bit in recent years although it still needs further reform.  One of the major shifts I have noticed is that of adoptive parents not only accepting open adoption but seeking it for their children.

Answer 4

Unless the parents were abusive, it is more than OK for adopted children to grow up knowing their birth parents... it is really important.

Adopted kids have more complex questions regarding their origins than kids who grow up in their original families.  They have all the usual "where did I come from " questions, PLUS they have questions about why they are no longer living with their first family.

Only the mom who gave birth to them can answer some of those questions, and it's better if they can be answered directly.

Have you ever played "telephone?"

When answers get filtered through an agency, a social worker, an adoptive parent, things get garbled.  Agencies and social workers even LIE, sometimes.

Kids deserve to know the truth.

My son, who happens to be adopted, has a really great relationship with his other mom.  They see each other often, and he gets his questions answered as they come up.  

I've said it before and I'll say it again  More people to love a child is NEVER a bad thing.

Answer 5

I know some people who started looking for their parents and they wish they'd never started. If they don't find someone then they feel depressed and if they do the person doesn't live up to their day dreams  and they are disappointed.  I have a friend who was adopted openly and sees her birth mom bi monthly. She says she hates it because its awkward and it makes everything more complicated.

Answer 6

I dont think adoption should know their parents because they feel would strangely. they feel like if they would be my real mom then she would have not done this like this fake mom has done or they cant tolerant that their parents have sell them. they would feel bad. they just feel lonely. if they would found who is their real parents they would wish to live with them and their parents would not. they would feel very bad. they wish tif they can have real parents. and they thilnk their fake parents are not really good.

Answer 7

It is fine to keep the mother in the picture. she will latter in life have other children and the children will wonder about each other when they try to fine each other latter down the road. If not in the picture keep info up dated so when they do ask about there birth pearents you can tell her. It is better and less trouble for every one if you just keep in contact. You don't have to be involved with her. Just let her know a little about how she is growing up and showing the mother that she did the right thing and that her decision was the right thing and she will not wounder how the baby is doing. She will fill proud and happy of her decision. You will have to under stand that there will be some uneasy fillings in the room.  Fillings like that is normal.

Nicole I WOULD NEVER DO IT AGAIN

Answer 8

I think it is good to know the birth parents as long as it doesn't hurt the parents who raised the child because there may be brothers or sisters somewhere, or perhaps there may be a medical reason to know genetic history of the child.  If the parents turn out to be jerks and unworthy, that is more reason to appreciate the ones who raised him or her and if they were simply doing the best for the child perhaps an extended family might even be possible.

Answer 9

Everyone who is adopted has a right to know who their real parents are because it empowers us and validates us as people. This is exactly why social workers, adopters and adoption agency employees DO NOT want us to know, because all of them beneift more if we are doormats to walk all over. The way the adoption system works is for the benefit of adopters, their happiness is more important that our happiness and that is NEVER in the best interest of the child.

Answer 10

i was put up for adoption at birth.  so i am an adoptee.  my wholelife my parents told me that i was adopted, i have always known, but i did not know who my biological family was and neither did my parents.  when i was in high school i began having problems, i didn't know where i fit in.  however my mom contacted the agency where i was adopted through and after some counseling i was able to get some of the non identifying info off of my file.  one of these things was a picture of my birth mother.  last year i petitioned the courts to have my records unsealed, and i met my birth mother.  we are very close to this day, and we are always talking.  she also has two other daughters and a son, and we are all very close.  one of these daughters also gave up her child for adoption, and she has met the adoptive parents and gets pictures and letters from them pretty regularly.  i think that it is very important for an adoptive child to know his/her birthparents, if for no other reason but health reasons.  when i was put up for adoption there were no health concerns, however, now that tim has passed, i know there is a strong history of breast cancer, adhd, bi-polar, and several other hereditary conditions that i need to watch for in myself and in my children.

Answer 11

Each case is different.  My son has contact with his aunts and his grandma.  He hasn't talked with his mom but, he knows her and we talk about what he remembers.  I never say anything negative about her.  He has done well knowing he is adopted though he knew before we did what it meant and how it works.  We made the decision to let he keep in contact for him so when he gets older he has that information and he has peace.

Answer 12

You probably have more info than you need...but here goes my opinion.

I am a birth mother and I relinquished my son to a family in an open adoption.  (In fact it was a couple that I already knew)  He always knew who we were (me and my husband) but that his adoptive parents were his 'real' parents.  See the book, Why Was I adopted?  It is written for children and explains it very well.  It helped me, also!

I believe that the main reason for the adoptee to know his/her birth parents for his or her benefit--not the birth parents or the adoptive parents.  

There have been studies done that this is the healthiest for the child.  

As he has grown, he has gotten to know his birth sibs (they are older) and he basically has two families.  What could be wrong with that?

Answer 13

I have adopted cousins, but more that are not. The two that are adopted both told me that they had no desire to find out their real birth parents, and I think the reason is that they had great parents who've always supported them in every way. I don't know if that's just what they're telling me or they maybe thought about finding out. I think I would like to know out of curiousity if I were adopted, but not really like to form a bond with them. Your real parent is the one that raised you, the one that loved you, the one that accepted you as their child.

Answer 14

The only thing that I would want from my bio's is medical history from the mother. There's no info on the father since she had an affair with the guy and I'm the product of that affair. So all I would need is some more detailed medical info.

Other than that, they have no purpose in my life.

I have a family, I have parents.

They chose me, I'm cool with that.

Answer 15

I think it just depends on the person and the circumstances.....I was adopted and i know who my birth mother is and I'm ok with that. I think kids who are put up for adoption should have the right to know where they really came from. Yes it's kind of a sticky situation because what if the child came from an abusive home and thats why they were put up for adoption. Theres also medical reasons for why at least the parents should keep in touch with the birth mother.....I recently found out from my birthmother that i have a high risk for asthma and a certain kind of cancer. With knowing that i can take steps to try and prevent getting them. With my situation i think that its ok to know your birth mother and what really happened. Really she loved me enough to know that she couldn't take care of me on her own and gave me a better home. I don't see why you wouldnt want your child to know someone like that

Answer 16

Every child deserves the truth of their origins

Look up the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child

Answer 17

It depends completely on the situation. Open adoptions (adoptions in which children remain in contact with birth parents) can be great in some instances. I have adopted brothers and sisters - only one had contact with her birth family from the get go. For her it was great. She knew her family cared about her and they could address insecurities as they arose. I have two other sisters who found their parents as adults. For one, it was a very satisfying, happy experience. For the other it was painful. I think the main consideration when considering open adoption is how all parties feel about it. If the birth family, the adoptive family and the child (if they are old enough to know what's going on) can be open, communicate and express fears and concerns beforehand, then great. If they can't even get along because one or the other is jealous, angry or bitter - it is not a good option for anyone.

Hope that helps!

Answer 18

I'm not an adoptee but i'm a birth mother. I think it's important that kids know there birth parents. I have an open adoption with my daugther Aria. Like most my pregnancy wasn't a planned one i was practing protection at the time. I wasnt finanically able to take care her so i choose adoption. Why i choose open is that i want her to know who i am and how much i love her. How making the choice i made was the hardest thing i ever had to do but i did it because i wanted better for her. She's 11 months but i believe she knows who i am and when we see eachother it's so wonderful. I picked out the parents and i couldnt have picked better ppl. She is thriving and happy and its because of them and they're love for her. I think it's important that kids know who they are but also remember the loving paretns that hopefully alot of the adoptions here had. Good luck with your report

Answer 19

I think that it is not only okay but should required.  Although, the LEVEL of required contact should depend on the relinquishing family.  If the family was abusive to the adoptee, then the child must be protected but does have the right to know their heritage and cultural background.

Putting a child into a foreign environment and not providing him/her with education about their culture and heritage is abusive.  Adoptive families need to stop the charade of "as if born to".  It is a lie and adoptees know that it is a lie.

Answer 20

Do you want to know your parents?

So did i.

Answer 21

Sometimes it depends... if I was a child and my birth mother was just being mean and just decided to abandon me on the streets or something I really don't want to see her.

But if my parents left me to someone else because they can't take care of me well then I would want to know them.