I am writing a speech on open adoption, any good resources or knowledge that you can provide?

Question

I am writing a speech on open adoption, any good resources or knowledge that you can provide?

Answer 1

As an adoptive mother (closed adoption until my son was old enough to meet the biological mother), I wrote a good-sized article on considerations about open adoption on Associated Content.  Generally,  I lean away from the trend in open adoptions today.  

http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/52...

If you go to the above link and scroll down you'll run into the open adoption article.

Answer 2

My mother put my younger brother up for adoption, the family was present when he was born, and I know everything about him. We'd have visits with eachother, even though he lives across the country. He's 17 now. And he I.M.'s me and tells me all about his new job and car.

People slander adoption either way, but I have to say if it was me I'd rather know about both my families (adoptive and biological) instead of growing up wondering.

My family is very unique but I'm thankful I know so much about my brother.

Answer 3

NICE answer JulieJ!! Big fat thumbs up to you!! And you go grapesgum! No need to repeat what you've both said :) But thought I'd snag some points anyways tee hee

And I'd also like to add, that if you include anything LisaHW the first poster said (the one advertising her insulting article on the web,) into your speech, please also include that an adoptee was insulted by it.

Of course children removed from their parents for neglect and abuse to the degree of skull fractures would need caution when being around parents that treat them like that.

That doesn't however, mean that there isn't any benefit to having an open adoption compared to a closed one, not that I'm an advocate for either, i'm a family preservationist, but certainly keeping in contact with the families allows for many unanswered questions in closed adoptions to be answered in open ones. Genetic mirroring, sibling relationships, hopefully a sense of love from your first family instead of nothing but outsiders opinions of how greatful you should be that you're not aborted.

Thank you, if you'd like me to elaborate more, please contact me :)

Answer 4

"Open" adoption is still adoption with all of the pain and hurt of breaking the mother-child bond for both the mother and the child.  Yes, it is better than a closed adoption but not much better.  The three big problems that I see with open adoption as it is practiced in the US are:

1-Open adoption is used to lure women who are experiencing unplanned pregnancies into surrendering their children before they think through whether or not they really could parent.  They develop pre-birth relationships with the adoptive parents and feel obligated, or through financial coercion are forced, to place their child.  This often occurs even when the women realize after seeing their children at birth and want in their hearts to parent.  After surrender, they realize that open adoption still hurts.  Adoption agencies like to do adoptions this way because they can get more babies for their paying customers.

2 - Many, many adoptive parents close open adoptions for no reason other than they are too lazy to keep up contact and/or they feel threatened by the presence of the first parent(s).  So, a first parent is cut out of their child's life after having surrendered their child, thinking that they would have contact.

3 - Open adoptions are not legally enforceable in most states.  The adoptive parents can close an open adoption simply because they want to with no recourse.

Answer 5

If at all possible don't adopt out your baby, period,,but open adoption  is better than closed,,you can keep track of your babys progress,and make sure shes ok,and it'll all be very painful.but do whats right for the baby,and put yourself last.

Answer 6

i am an adoptee and i can tell you from experience that it would be great to have open adoption. but there would still have to be stipulations. well for one after they are 18 they can so see their parents if want to find out their health situation etc. like that. but the thing tha tis scary if you can find them and they you will they leave you alone to grow up. the thing about open is well maybe it coudl be too opened. they could hound the people that have you and you wouldn't be like theirs . that would be the only thing iwoud think coudl hamper such a deal.

Answer 7

I think open adoption is a good thing.  Legislators and adoption agencies always say they are doing what is better for the child, but they never ask us what we want.  It is our information, our family that they are hiding.  We are the ones that have holes in our heart because we feel incomplete.  Not once are we asked if we want to be protected.  We have a right to know our birth family.  I can understand that some birth parents do not want to be involved in the later lives of the children they give up.  But, there are just as many that do.  There should be a clause in the adoption paperwork so that if both parties so wish, when the child is 18, they can get the full information, not just the non-identifying info you want to give now.  We are the ones you are trying to protect.  If this is true, then give us the choice.  Let us (and our parents) make the choice that will change our lives.  I was one of the lucky ones.  I found my mom and birth father.  I have nothing to do with my birth father and his family.  BUT, my birth mom is very important to me.  My adoptive mom could not tell us all apart when I took a picture of me, mom and my baby sister at the beach, that is how much we all look alike.  It is not fair that legislators and agencies take that away from us.  It is not your choice, it is our choice.

Answer 8

Yes, you should let everyone know that while "open adoption" sounds positive, and it is certainly always better than any closed adoption, there are still some concerns.  For starters, the phrase is often used to lure vulnerable, expectant mothers into relinquishing their infants with false promises of contact with their child over the years through letters, photos, or visits.  

A real concern is that once the adopters get the baby, any "open adoption" agreement is totally unenforceable & can be changed to a closed adoption at any time by the adopters & for any reason they want.  There is nothing the natural mother or adoptee can do about that.  Nothing can compare to the heartbreak of losing a child to adoption.  Most would never have consented to any adoption at all if they had known it was going to be turned into a closed one.  This also represents an enormous loss to the adoptee on many levels.  

Due to the vested interest that adoption agencies and adoption lawyers have, they will not be totally honest about adoption with the expectant mother.  They will tell her anything to get her baby because they pocket disgraceful amounts of money off of each and every baby placed!  Desperate, infertile couples will agree to almost anything in order to get their hands on a baby, regardless of their intention to honor any such promises.  There is a huge demand for healthy, white newborns.  It should come as no surprise that new tactics have been devised to try to persuade mothers to part with their babies.  Women with unplanned pregnancies really need information from sources other than agencies!  They also need to know the truths about adoption & the long-term effects on both themselves and most of all, their future child.  Research should be done before any decision is made.  If open adoption is truly freely agreed upon between both sets of parents, then it must be legally binding and enforceable.

Perhaps your speech could also mention that in a perfect world, there would be no need for adoption of any kind in the first place.  Instead, resources could be directed towards helping to keep families together whenever possible, not separating them.  Lest we forget, adoption is not meant to be about what's best for the adopters, nor should it be about making businesses profits.  It's supposed to be what's best for the child!

See Links below for more "open adoption" information that should  help you with your speech.  Good luck,

julie

Answer 9

go to the web site here in Canada and you will find many answers on this particular subject.  Coalation for Birth Mothers and another Open Adoption Concept.  They have rewritten the laws here in Canada as a result of the failure of this. Just type in open adoption concept and many different resources will come up.  You will find information from the children themselves, mothers, adoptive mothers, CAS workers, case workers etc.....great subject, great debates and many opinions.......great research, good luck