I am writing everything OPEN. What Should I do now?

Question

I'm 25 and she is 22. We are in a relationship for 3 and half years now.

She is childish, childlike, believes in people easily, smart in dealing some topics though, Talks and argues well, do not know what to talk sometimes, emotional, white-lies for no reason, enjoys s*x greatly( I m saying this openly too so that i get replies with complete analysation).

During our relationship, She was good to me. Though she used to lie often for petty things. I used to ask her to be genuine with me. She was very low when I met her as she broke up with her Ex of 1 year. I treated her so good and always used to comfort her in every possible way.

There are few things i dont like in her. Those are she gets easily frustated, anger, lose her temper. I warned her to be good n sweet. She used to repeat above things for which i used to lose my control and we used to have fights often and then immediately we used to get back.

We kind of had a major fight in last Dec '07. She started talking to her old guy friend from March '08 also met him. She again met him last month and stayed with him for 3 days. They even shared physical bond . She agreed. When i questioned..she said that she did all those becuz of the major fights we had. I understood she attracted to him physically.

Last saturday .. She told the other guy that she is ready to lose her 3yr relationship with me if he is serious too. She said infront of me to him. Though all these happened i told her... I will forget about what happened ..just come to me .. I can still welcome you cuz i have true feelings for you... putting her immaturity in my mind.

Now she says....she needs time to get over him. She says like till December or so she needs time. They both are meeting this weekend again. I am in helpless condition what to do and how to accept her in the future? (If she comes to me saying sorry for what all she did)

Someone please write to me ..what would you do if you were in my shoes? I am not able eat, kinda having heavy breathing wheneva i think about whats happening...

:( :( :( I'm sad n HURT so bad.

Answer 1

Lose her b4 you are a loser.

Answer 2

What a load of c**p she has handed to you! I say you need to get the heck away from her. I'm so sorry she did this, but it looks to me as though she looked for an out - and she found it with this guy.

I'm sorry, but you have no future with this girl. And I would see that as a good thing. She's not right for you, and she is putting you down by telling the ex in front of you that she's willing to be with him. That's just cruel.

You deserve better, and I hope you find it. There are gals out there that won't treat you like this. You need someone who will respect you, and she obviously doesn't. Get out while you still have some dignity.

I'm sorry. I wish you the best. I really do.

Answer 3

You have helped her grow up. Wish her well and let her go on her way.

You will find someone else worthy of your good deeds.

Take your time at healing.  

Answer 4

She clearly doesn't care about you.  Forget her go have fun, date other women.  I understand you are hurting, that's because you feel you put a lot into the relationship. And you thought that the love you felt for her would be enough.

That in time she would come to love you as much as you love her.   But as you see that isn't so.  It doesn't matter that you guys were not getting along well at the time.  Had she loved you, she wouldn't have seeked the company of another man.

  Many years ago, I had to acept the fact that I fell in love with a man that didn't love me.  He loved what I felt for him,  but he didn't feel the same.  This is what is happening to you.  She likes you when things are good, but she doesn't love you.  And if you let her, when she needs you again she will be back.

   I'm not saying it will be easy.  But you must for your own sake accept it.  You will have days when  you want the person back.  Though you know things will be the same.  But there does come a day when you will know you no longer care about the person.  Don't let yourself get to the point of desperation.  How I got over it was.  I avoided anyone and everything that had to do with the guy.   I avoided him like if he was contagious.   Try to keep yourself busy.   A hobby or work.   Anything that keeps you distracted enough,  so that you don't have time to feel upset.

Answer 5

Okay... Yes she is very immature! If she was serious about you and your relationship and was the type of girl that was ready for commitment and wanted marriage in her future she wouldn't be doing these things.

I don't even know how you can forgive her for being with this guy... she is obviously very selfish and wants you and this guy for the wrong reasons and just for attention. If he doesn't want her she'll go to you, and if you don't want her she'll go to him... that is so immature and lame! she is using both of you and she will keep on doing things like this, people like this never change!

the more serious your relationship gets the worse it is going to get and the more hurt you are going to be ... trust me, it's worse when you are with her for 5, 7, 9 yrs than now, I know it hurts now but it's better for you to get out of this type of relationship now than later, because later you are going to be obsessively attached where you probably can't get out and cause major emotional damage to yourself. Think about yourself and your needs.

it seems to me that you want a different type of girl than her... but you are only with her because you are attached to her and can't let her go, you are not with her because you truly want to be with her and that you feel she is the one for you, you are with her for the wrong reasons and that my friend will haunt you and ruin your psychology, so get out now.  

Answer 6

She's playing you. Dump her and dump her now. Sometimes there are immature girls/women who are afraid to be alone so they hang on to people even when they don't have that great of a relationship.

Get away from her and find an honest girl who wants YOU for who you are, not just because you're "leftovers".