I asked my 14 year old about the stuff I found in his room..?

Question

He came straight out and told me that he's been having s*x after school for about a month with one girl. He's not sleeping around or anything and he's using protection. Should I stop him? I've got 3 boys (16,14 and 12) and I don't want to alienate any of them?

Answer 1

Yes! He is 14 for crying out loud. I cant believe a mother actually has to ask this question.

Accidents happen. What will happen if this girl falls pregnant?

Answer 2

Um I would stop it.

he's committing a crime!!

Its illegal!

&& What if she gets pregnant he has to pay for the baby untill its 18.

Good luck.

have the s*x talk with him and make him understand. :))

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=a8UyVkEyR_...  

Answer 3

Wow...how stupid, i cant believe just about every one of these answers says "What if she gets pregnant"...the boy is using condoms which are highly protective..I know not completely but unless he was a right fool about it he could get her pregnant but yes....I do agree he is a bit too young, Maybe not for other sexual things such as making out etc, but for s*x yes.

Answer 4

NOT to be rude... but do u really need to ask this question??? he is 14 for crying outloud.... he is jus a child.. stop him now before its too late... im not saying be mean and yell at him but give him the facts... all birth control methods are not 100% effective.. the condom can break if she is on birthcontrol pills.. they can fail, especially if she forgets to take them.. and were r they having this s*x??? some one needs to stop this NOW!!!   its not safe, and there are STDs out there.... please stop him now b4 he gets aids... do u want to see ur child like that .. i think not...  

Answer 5

DON'T STOP HIM. LET HIM DO IT, BUT ONLY IF YOU MEET THE GIRL BEFORE HAND. THIS WILL GIVE YOU THE ABILITY TO CONTROL HOW MUCH AND WHO WITH. CUZ IF YOU FORBID IT, THEN HE WILL DO IT IN THE WOODS OR SOME OTHER PLACE. IF YOU WANT ANY CONTROL THEN ALLOW IT.

Answer 6

just trust him... he know right from wrong....

Answer 7

No you should not stop him. The worst thing a parent can do is make their child feel dirty and wrong about what is so natural. He is young so you may feel better if you sit him down and talk to him about it, make sure he is being safe. Make sure you supply him with protection as some children feel embarrassed about getting it themselves. Kids are more sensible than adults give them credit for. If he learns to be safe now then it's better for him in the future. Plus, if he doesn't want to stop he won't despite what you say.

Answer 8

Come on people... stop him??  He's 14... dont you remember when you first started doing it... anywhere you could!!!  Yes I know as a parent you should be telling him he shouldn't be doing it.. but lets be honest, he isn't going to stop.  He needs to understand this is not a joke.. it is illegal and because of that he could get into trouble... plus disease and fatherhood... don't sugar coat anything.. by all means ask him to stop.. but you won't be able to make him.  Glad to hear he's using protection.

Answer 9

I can't believe that you have to ask.  Tell him that you don't approve and will get a babysitter to be in the house after school if necessary.

Yes, I realize that they can go somewhere else, but you don't have to approve.  

As for being afraid of alienating the kids, that is our job.  Our job is not to be a "yes" only parent, but to set rules of acceptable conduct and expect them to be carried out.

Answer 10

STOP HIM!!

Answer 11

Yeah, right. How are ya gonna stop him? Take the condoms away, I suppose. That's what my mother did 40 years ago. Worked like a charm. I never had s*x again.

Geez, I'll never understand where some people get their ideas.

Answer 12

If he's fourteen, that's plain out against the law.  If that girl (probably a minor) gets pregnant and her parents find out, they could press charges.  What if the twelve year old finds out?  

Answer 13

Of course you should stop him! If he gets this girl pregnant (no protection is fool proof) then what are you going to do? Don't be a stupid parent and sit around and watch your child throw his life down the drain. C'mon, use some common sense here.

Answer 14

No matter what you want to believe you will not be able to STOP him if that is what he wants to do. You can set guidlines be open and honest with him, set punishments for additional actions on his part. Take him to a day care and let him volunteer for day to get the feel of being a parent. TALK to him preach abstinence stress the consequences to his actions, but really in the end there is nothing you can do to STOP him! Make sure he understands your feelings and again the consequences of his actions should it continue but understand that you also need to stress the importance of protection should he choose not to heed your warnings!!!

Thats a tough one for sure!!!!

~D~

Answer 15

You should definitely try to stop him.  It is good that he'd using protection and only sleeping with one girl.  But he's only 14.  Condoms can fail.  I would do everything in my power to make sure he is not in a position where he is able to have s*x.  He may do it anyway, but he should know that he does not have your permission and that you do not condone it.  Sometimes when our kids are teenagers they will be alienated from us.  They don't always know what is in their best interest and they may not think that you are right, but you still need to stand your ground.  Your son may not realize that you were only looking out for him until later, but that is a chance you have to take.

Answer 16

ok, first, it's only illegal if the chick is like, 16,17,or18 depending on your state. and second um, you should probably stop him...well atleast slow him down...i mean i have no problem with lettin' him do it cuz' i'm 14...so i don't think it matters but...there are like a few upsides to it: he is using protection, he's only been with one girl, and he's probably been less of a *beep* ...but again i am only a 14 year old girl...

Answer 17

Oh man, there are so many alternatives for this one...just talk to him about it, tell him the consequences (you know, STD's, babies, AIDS, etc.) let him know you are there for him if he needs anything. You can't typically stop him unless  you chain him down and keep him with you 24/7. The more strict you are, the more rebellious he will be.

Answer 18

First, you should sit down and talk to him. I began having s*x at fourteen and I'm a single dad to my 14 month old daughter. (Her mother isn't in the picture.) People are going to kill me for saying this, but you really can't stop him now. The damage is done...but you should probably tell the girls' parents. That may, or may not, get him to stop...but it probably will. And why would you be alienating any of your kids like that? That's weird...

Answer 19

have tthe s*x talk, he obviously trusts you, the only trouble is that what he's doing is illegal.

Answer 20

i would stop him.. what if the condom breaks and she gets pregnant?

Answer 21

At least he was honest... Have the s*x talk - make sure he understands the consequences of what can happen - STIs, Fatherhood.  If he's already doing it, he probably won't stop it because you tell him to.  Hopefully she's on the pill & only doing it with him too

Answer 22

Well you cant keep him a baby forever, so if I were you I'd encourage him to use condoms and lottts of lube. (sorry, tmi?)

Answer 23

YES! Arent you supposed to be the responsible adult? Hes only 14!!! Thats 8th grade! You have to stop him, even iof he is using protection. He really is too young, and protection could still fail....Be the responbile parent and intervene!

God Bless.

P.S: I personally believe in abstinence, but society tends to go the other way nowadays.....