I asked my straight friend for g*y related advice but she never responded?

Question

so basically i told one of my straight female friends that i had problem and i sent her an IM and here is what i said:

2 make a long story short......i think that a lot ppl in my family know that im g*y, but i havent told anyone but my mom/stepdad, but for some odd reason they keep asking me about guys......so when i was home everyone and i do mean everyone asked if i had a bf bc my sis is dating someone and everyone was like but u've been at school for this long and you dont talk about any boys.....so i kinda feel like im pressured to come out.....but at the same time the majority of family believes the whole jesus hates g*y ppl thing....so idk what to.....but basically im just seeking a straight person's pov on what i should do

so what did i do wrong bc she never responded and she knows that im g*y and has known for little over a year

Answer 1

She's probably as confused as I am about what you're wanting here! Just because they ask you about a bf doesn't mean  they have one inkling about you being g*y. That's a thing that relatives ask any girl of a certain age. You're getting paranoid! They only know what you tell them by words are actions. Next, it was probably insulting to her to be asked g*y related advice, she's not g*y! Or did that not cross your mind? If you want to know about handling family members who know or may not even have a clue, then you should be consulting someone who's been there. Your question is better suited to a g*y person. What you did to her was tantamount to asking a Podiatrist to diagnose a child! The Podiatrist is not a Pediatrician! It's apples and oranges!

Answer 2

well seeing she is straight, maybe she feels like she cannot give you good g*y related advice..

Answer 3

she might not know what to say since she's never been in this exact situation.

Answer 4

maybe she just doesnt know what to say. dont trip. next time they ask u about a bf just jokingly say EH I dont like boy and then just laugh and change the subject. if u are close enough to them then tell them u are g*y. if u are not comfortable telling them, then dont. its ur business and u only have to tell who u choose to tell, its not like it matters to them anyway. as far as the religion this goes, if god made u g*y, he must still love u right? eh thats just my opinion.

Answer 5

maybe she jst duznt kno wut to say....she probly didnt want to disapoint you!!!!

but about the whole parent thing, sit down, talk to them!!! tell em u are g*y, end of question!!! they should love u either way!!! and if they bring up guys, just say chicks ovr d!cks l0l

Answer 6

Maybe she's uncomfortable about it too.  Or maybe she doesn't really know what kind of advice to give you because she's never been in a situation like that.  Maybe you'd be better off asking a g*y person who's actually been though that for advice, so they'll be better equipped than your straight friend to help you out.

As a straight person, though, I can give you my POV- only come out to the family members and friends who are absolutely closest to you first.  They will be more accepting than your extended family members who have conflicting views about homosexuality.  Also, don't come out during a holiday or other family gathering, or else all everyone will ever remember is "the Christmas Tee told us she was g*y" or whatever.  Pick a neutral day to take them out for dinner and drop it on them.  I find it interesting that your mom and stepdad have been told, but they still ask you about guys- maybe they just think it's a phase you're going through and that you'll outgrow it?  Make it clear that this is who you are and you're not going to change.

Answer 7

The rest of your family probably doesn't know.  They probably just think you should be dating by now.  You didn't say if your in high school or college.  Remember, even straight people some times take awhile before they find someone.  I didn't start dating until after I graduated high school.  That's because the few guys that tried to ask me out, I didn't have any interest in.

I see no reason at this point to come out to the rest of your family if they are only going to react negitively.  But for those who seem to not mind then go right ahead.  I can't stand the small portian of christians who act as if God hates g**s.  God loves everyone.  All he expacts is that you try your best to live your life the right way, you except Jesus into your heart, and that you don't deny his name.  

Good Luck

Answer 8

I think your straight friend is very uncomfortable with your homosexuality and would not like to be involved with what is going on with your family.  I think you should show respect to her and not press the issue.  If you still want another opinion, ask someone else.

Answer 9

Maybe she didn't really know how to answer your IM.  I think you should be honest with your family about being g*y.  Living a lie is hard to do.  Tell just a few of them - the more accepting of the group - that you are g*y.  Some of them may not accept you, but you have to be true to yourself.  Good luck.

Answer 10

I think she didnt answer your cus she is straight. I guess she feels that she can not give you advise since she is not g*y. Don't feel bad just ask her if she feels uncomfortable with you asking her for advise regarding your relationship. You have to undestand too.

Answer 11

Let her think about your question for a bit, a good friend will always think about a serious wuestion and get back to you on it. she might not have even gotten your IM so you might want to ask her hey did you get my IM.

On another note you should never feel pressured to come out. This kind of thing takes time and need to be thought out well when coming out to family esp. religious family. Just because your sister is dating someone does not mean you have to either. if they ask and your not ready to tell them your g*y just say you don't have time for a relationship right now with school being so busy you want to do well. You could just come out and say I don't like any of the boys at school which leaves it open just a bit..LOL Good Luck and be happy

*****************Equal Rights*****************

Answer 12

try talking to her in person

Answer 13

Nothing, but I, myself, would come out of the closet to my family. Especially if it takes them a long time to get used to things.

Answer 14

I know it's difficult, when your family has a particular mindset, but you have to be yourself.  Your family loves you, and wants you to be happy.  Many folks equate a relationship with happiness, when that is sometimes the furthest thing from the truth.  Talk to your parents, and tell them you'd like to come out to the rest of your family, that you don't want the stress of pretending, or any more intrusive questions about your personal life.  Some may cool towards you for a time, but they will come around sooner or later, because they love you and want you to be happy.

Just be yourself, it's way to hard to be someone else.

Answer 15

well she was either busy, or is just a crapy friend!!

you come out when you are ready!! its your life sweetie, people have to accept and respect your choices you make.

stop worrying =]

xx

Answer 16

well you know these questions tend to get a little disturbing i mean would your friend really even hurry to answer a question like this? in conclusion you should not expect everyone even your friends to accept you for this that fast. its not a simple thing to make others get right with knowing that you are that. but seriously if your g*y why not do the most obvious thing and ask this question or any g*y related question to someone who is g*y? not trying to sound offensive but if your g*y just talk to someone with the same life.

Answer 17

You didn't do anything wrong.... you went to your friend for advice.  Maybe she just wasn't sure what to say.  If you're not ready to come out to the rest of your family... just keep telling them that relationships are the last thing on your mind and you don't need to be bothered right now.  You'd rather focus on school and there's a time and place for everything.  Tell them they need to cool their jets!

Take your time and come around whenever YOU'RE ready to.  It's no one elses business what gender you're attracted to or anything of that sort.  I hope if you ever come out, you find lots of love and support from your other friends and family.  Good luck.  xoxox.

Answer 18

go and ask someone Else that is g*y a guy or a girl that came out to there family.