I ate a huge burger yesterday and I can't take a c**p. What are some BM recipes?

Question

I ate at Buffalo Wild Wings and ordered the Honey BBQ Baccon Cheese Burger. Anyway, I can't c**p. I don't have constipation problems often. I know it's there, I can feel it in my intestines but it's making no attempt to come out and my attempts are not yielding any results. I tried Metamucil, I tried drinking a mixture of Balsamic Vinaigrette, chili powder, and curry powder, but that didn't even upset my stomach and I usually get diarrhea from spicy food. The pants I was wearing were a little tight around the waist, so I assume that had something to do with it. I don't know. I had pains before and a little gas, but the pressure won't go away and I can't p**p. I think the pressure and pain is better than before, but I''m still bloated and haven't made a movement. I'm a guy so it has nothing to do with any lady issues. I really need to c**p. I start college in about...5 hours, so...My first class is a few hours long...I'm brewing some coffee now because that usually runs right through me with just about everything else that's in me at the time, so I'm hoping that will do the trick.

Answer 1

Drink that coffee and eat something greasy (like bacon) for breakfast.  That should do the trick.  

Or you can take a lesson from college arithmatic and "work it out with a pencil".

Answer 2

You could try x-lax. And if that doesn't work, go to the doctor and say you are constipated and nothing is working. They can prescribe something WAY better than over the counter laxatives.

Answer 3

There are plenty of over the counter meds you could take. A nice hot cup of coffee usually does the trick for me!

Answer 4

Milk of magnesia would work, and so would a glycerin suppository.  Prune juice works too.  I don't think you should try anything else before you have to go to class...what if it takes a while to work and then you p**p your pants because you don't know where the restrooms are at school yet? (sorry, you can tell I'm a mom)

Anyhow, for now why don't you take some gas medicine, for example Simethicone, and just give your body time to let things happen naturally.  

Answer 5

Haha, maybe the food couldn't digest to your a**s... drink lots of water and see what happens. If you can't c**p for at least 4-7 days ask a doctor whats wrong with your digestive system. :]

Same happened with me, I just forced it out xD

Answer 6

suppositories worked for me and and the doctor prescribed me miralax also i would just stick my finger up there and pull it out

Answer 7

5 hours until class?  don't take a laxative.  the coffee, or plain hot water should help.  also fruit.  plenty of fruit.

Answer 8

run to walmart an get some mineral oil.  it takes a little while for it to work and that should do dthe trick.

Answer 9

Don't take strong laxatives right before class, especially if it's a long class. It usually takes couple hours for them to work.

Make sure you drink plenty of water- Metamucil can actually constipate you if you don't drink enough water. Eat lots of fiber, but make sure you drink at least 8 or 9 glasses of water a day. Add at least 2 or 3 more if you work out.

You can try a cup of coffee and couple glasses of water, or some mild physical exercise- stretching, a brief jog if you can stand it, or couple sit ups should get thing going.

Answer 10

hahahahaha

Try papaya, green apple or pear, dry apricots.

Have a coffee and a cigarette if you smoke.

Regards