I believe a may be a Sociopath..

Question

I care about two people, but I can't believe they care about me. It is just impossible for me too. I am constantly testing them in every way possible, to the point one has left my life for good. I don't regret ****, and i don't care how I affect people. I have control issues and I constantly have to be in control of every aspect of my life, If i'm not i go crazy. I could kill person, and i fantasize about it. I like to make other people suffer. I want people to feel my pain. I smoke pot, and I'm a chain smoker, I started skipping school a lot last year and this year I don't plan on doing ****. I'm gonna kill myself before high school is over. I'm 15 years old. I don't plan on doing **** with my life.

Answer 1

You need to seek out some long-term counseling and find out why you are behaving in this manner. Please get the help you need quickly, you are obviously in pain emotionally. Take care.  

Answer 2

No sociopathic behavior here. It sounds like you have allot of issues with anger and perhaps depression. Anyone is is going to kill themselves, justs do it. They don't tell anyone or make any phone calls. Those who do tell are pleading for help, which in your case is a good thing, becasue I think you may "want" help and not even know or recongize it. I hope you do seek help, you're so young. Hang in there.  

Answer 3

yeah, you probably are, but whatever i don't care, if you want, go find a mental hospital, but if you don't, thats cool.

Answer 4

You don't sound like a sociopath.

Sociopaths generally don't know that they are sociopaths.

It just sounds like you've been hurt a lot.

I know it's hard to believe now, but many kids go through this.

I was one of them.

I had to control everything.

Losing control pissed me off.

Whoa be the person that interfered with my life-order.

I stayed in my room in our trailer and felt numb.

I used to fantasize that someone would break into my house so that I could take out my anger on them.

Cut myself to deal with all the s*** in my life.

Tried to commit suicide twice and was found both times.

I fought a lot.

Got kicked out of school at 16.

Smoked weed all the time. Got drunk every chance I got.

Left home at 16. Moved in with my boyfriend. Told my mom to go to h**l.

Made my boyfriend as miserable as I could. I felt good to make him suffer. I knew that I was being a b****, but I didn't care.

He beat me and I let him. I deserved it, I thought.

I planned my suicide for when I hit 21.

I am 28 now.

I survived. I shouldn't be alive.

I saved myself by leaving the environment that I was in.

When I hit 21, it was leave or die.

I chose to leave.

It saved me.

I am a different person than I was.

Life happened for me and it will for you.

Don't give up.

It's hard right now. But time has a way of making things a little easier to handle.

Trust me. Please

Answer 5

You have done something to indicate you give a ***, you have asked here about your self-evaluation.  

To find out what you difficulty is, you might want to go see a school counselor or professional and request an MMPI test (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory).  it takes a couple hours to fill in the blanks, and requires honestly to be effective, but it does not require a bunch of tolerating of annoying chat therapy.  If you are honest in your responses it is also amazingly accurate.

If you want to change your mind, which is what you are talking about, there is no finer time to do so that at your age now, while your brain itself is still developing.  Recent studies have shown that higher centers of your brain are not even in full swing yet at 15, and these are what provide moral reasoning... Studies have also shown that using areas of the brain does 'grow them' especially while you are young enough to still be developing.

Want a life worth living?  Invest a couple afternoons in seeing if it is feasible.  Be a shame to jump a perfectly potentially enjoyable life off a  bridge.

Answer 6

Definitely go see a therapist. Also, read up on borderline personality disorder. You are not a sociopath (and be thankful of that because they are rarely treatable)

Answer 7

It doesn't really seem like your seeking an answer here so maybe you should put this in a blog or something?

"I care about two people" that's already breaking the sociopath boundary. Your not supposed to care about anyone for any reason if you really have a sociopath mentality

But if your still convinced then here's a shred off a website of an overview of sociopathy

"The main characteristic of a sociopath is a disregard for the rights of others. Sociopaths are also unable to conform to what society defines as a normal personality. Antisocial tendencies are a big part of the sociopath’s personality. This pattern usually comes into evidence around the age of 15"

enjoy being a sociopath if you so choose to be.

Answer 8

I don't believe you're a sociopath, but it does sound like you could be bipolar.

If you relay these thoughts to your doctor he'd be able to put you in contact with someone who could diagnose the problem, if you're interested in finding out why you feel these ways.

If anything it would prevent you from being kicked out of the house again because your parents would understand there's a reason for your behaviour.

Edit: The inability to understand why others would care about you hints at some kind of shame or feeling that you're undeserving of it. There's a variety of causes for that (abuse, combative home, shameful events, too harsh of punishments, etc) but many people actually feel that way. That would explain why you do a lot of the things you do too, because it's almost as if you're trying to justify the idea that you're undeserving of love by making yourself out to be someone who you think nobody *could* love. I know you said you don't like being told what to do, but you should consider talking to a psychologist. I think you're probably much more normal than you think.

Answer 9

You are not a sociopath. You are a teenager with borderline personality disorder and possibly ADHD. You can receive therapy and meds for those, so there's no real need to kill yourself.

Answer 10

honey you need help... please consult a therapist... and don't kill yourself. its not worth it. suicide hotlines are all over the place.  

Answer 11

You're probably right that people don't like you, but I'm sure that you would like for them to even if you won't admit it to yourself.  Instead of being self destructive and taking your anger out on everyone why not see a therapist and get to the root of the problem.  I think that if you talk to them enough you will finally realize why you act the way that you do.  Then you can take accountability for your own actions and release your anger and pain at the world.  There are people who know that some people need help and they don't base their relationship with you on whether they like you or not.  They would rather not judge you and give you a chance at overcoming your problems by being nice to you.  Some have more patience than others and they become therapists.  When I was young I didn't think I would live to see 21 so I didn't care about my life either.  Once I found out what my talents were and more about my personality and that I did live past 21 I got on with my life and never looked back at those old dark days.  Do yourself a favor and find out what your strengths are and what your personality is.  It's the most motivational thing in the world because then you know how to be all that you can be.

Answer 12

It would be in your best interest to get help. Even though now you feel like you do, with medication or treatment you will feel so much better. You have people in your life that obviously care about you, and would hate to see anything happen to you. There's nothing wrong with seeking treatment and it can improve your life tremendously. I hope you take my advice,  and good luck!

Answer 13

Hiya there,

You sound like someone I know.You aren't a sociopath. A sociopath wouldn't really ask the question. Have you looked into attachment disorder? Check it out and it might make sense to you. It often stems from sh*tty parents as a baby.

The person I know is on self-destruct and full of grief, does any drugs. She's all up and down. Although I worry about her dying young, I'm more worried about keeping her out of jail. She has attachment disorder. It's not a mental illness. It's just the way she thinks

If you had no feelings you wouldn't ask the question. You won't believe me but life gets better as you get older. The emotional up and downs balance out more.

Hang on and you'll see : )

Answer 14

A: There is no need to brag. We get it, you're a tough little cookie who doesn't care about anything.

B: Teen angst; teens take everything so seriously and acting like middle-aged depressed people. Why don't you go out and try to have a good time and do something fun?, instead of wasting your time pouting?

C: Go see a doctor, ask for meds.

D: Why would you cut your leg? Doesn't that make it harder to run? (I could tell you a really gross story about this girl who cut her wrist, but then you wouldn't be able to eat at McDonald's ever again.)

E: C'est amusant pour moi d'autres pousser.

Answer 15

No your not, sociopaths are not suicidal. They have an amazing amount of self control and are generally highly intelligent. You sound emotionally hysterical, depressed and rebellious

Controlling people is easy governments and religious organizations have been doing it since forever. Appleid violence of the most extreme kind will get obedience from the majority, the minority that refuses to bow gets buried.

Answer 16

YOU NEED HELP

Answer 17

wow that's sad how some people can enjoy life so much but some people see no point in it.

hope you don't kill yourself, but it'd be better than you killing someone else that's for sure

Answer 18

A tip cut the pot. Find help for it, too.

You can be whatever you want to believe you want to be, but I don't think you are one. The first step to not becoming one is recognizing such harsh facts. You should go see the world down to that very small core to how the average slave works to the person you want to become and to the people of high profession to see how life is after a few years. This will help you realize what actually awaits you in life. Of course it doesn't hurt to think like you wouldn't. So knowing that you usually think like this, why not try thinking differently about stuff. Hey, think about connections you have with family or friends. If not anyone, then at least there are strangers out here to show that they do care about someone. And that someone is you.

Answer 19

wow....seems your just really emotionally askewed...really depressed..unmotivated...and definately in the wrong frame of mind... I could be just a phase...your young.. but its really where your focus is... I think your confused...and you need to communicate with somebody about your condition - maybe you just need a change? I love that saying you know...The hardest part of life - is living in it.   Its true... but the more you persevere - the better it feels to know what you'll become - life can be goOd - it can... you can only change you - your the one being negative... i think you just need to simmer and let yourself grow.  

Answer 20

If you were a sociopath you would not be able to articulate in this way what you do.  Nor could you care to go through telling a million strangers about it.  Because you can spout this, it shows you actually do care, and that means you aren't a sociopath, you are just messed up.  Not beyond repair though.  The over smoking of pot is part of it.  There are a lot of folks that can help you if you let them.  It is obvious you want the help but you have to drop the act for them to get in.