Question:

I bet this gets a smile??

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An Australian ventriloquist visiting new Zealand

Walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda

Patting his dog

He figures I might have a bit of fun here, so he says to the kiwi

G’day mind if I talk to your dog

Kiwi ;the dog cant talk you stupid aussie

Ventriloquist; hi dog hows it goin mate

Dog; yeah doin alight

Kiwi; (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist; is this kiwi your owner

Dog; yep

Ventriloquist; how does he treat you ?

Dog; yeah real good, he walks me twice a day,feeds me good food,and plays ball with me

Kiwi; (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist; mind if I talk to your horse?

Kiwi; ‘uh ,the horse doesn’t talk either …. I think

Ventriloquist; hey horse hows it going

Horse; yeah cool

Kiwi; (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist; is this kiwi your owner

Horse; yep

Ventriloquist; how does he treat you?

Horse; pretty good, rides me regularly, brushes me and keeps me out of the weather of a night

Kiwi;(total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist; mind if I talk to your sheep

Kiwi;(in a total panic) THE SHEEP ARE F#CKING LIARS…….

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19 ANSWERS


  1. You got more than a smile out of me, you got a chuckle.  That was a very entertaining joke, thanks for the smile.


  2. hahahaha

    I'm guessing that kiwi had on rubber boots?

    ►RfD◄

  3. more than a smile, it got a chuckle. the sheep are fuc*ing liars! classic star

  4. umm i dont get it -_-

  5. Giggles I got it.

  6. haha good one

  7. Hahahahah! I'm an Aussie, so I completely get this joke!

    I think I might be re-telling this a lot over the next couple of days.

    Thanks so much for the laugh :)

    ps. I'm guessing all the people who don't get this joke aren't from Aus or NZ

  8. lol! liked it! but im 2 tired to laugh!

  9. Wahhhh?!

  10. Ha ha ha ha, this gets more than a smile, MC, it brings out a full belly laugh, you've got me creased up, and it hurts so much,,,!

  11. lmao, another gem!!

  12. I get it..... ^_^

  13. just a look of confusion...

    OH I GOT IT!! well i still didnt smile

  14. oooh gross!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

  15. HAHAHAHA funny

  16. um, no.... I don't get it...

  17. As sweet as Cherry...

    Keep it up

  18. lol. wat did he do his poor sheep?

  19. ha h aha~~~!!!!!!!

    i see~~!!!!! soooo whats up with sheep i think already understood~~!!~~!!!!! lolzzzz

    u said u bet on making me smile h**l yeah making two coz u sure did~~!!!! and thanks for that~~!!!!!

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