I came to sing the sea to sleep.....a poem, care to comment?

Question

I came to sing the sea to sleep

by Jellz Fisher 2007

(This poem is an attempt to describe a photo, of a person, sitting on a rock upon a shore, at twilight, looking out to sea. )

I came to sing the sea to sleep

A lullaby to the waves

Sat on my throne of shifting sand

Upon this darkened shore

In turn the waves they sang to me

A deep and low refrain

Calling, drawing, ebbing, turning

A weeping song of yore

The sands of time they sang in choir

Harmony called the tune

The sea, the sand, and I, as one

More than ever before

Answer 1

This is my type of poem. I do this all the time. Beautifully stated.

Explanations detract from a poem's power. Let the reader decide what the poem means.

Answer 2

What a beautiful poem.  I love each stanza, which stands on its own as a separate poem.  I want to go watch the sea, your poem calls to me.

T.

Answer 3

This, is done well!  My compliments.

Answer 4

Tranquility and fulfillment obtained - through the initial act of the  giving of oneself.  The free act of giving (lullaby to the waves) - brought on an equal sharing from the sea (deep and low refrain). One's openness - permits the essence of harmony - to be noticed and enjoyed - thereby - giving the "giver". The more you give - the more you shall receive - type of thing ♥

Answer 5

Wow, that's amazing. It's truly beautiful. It created images in my head right away.

Answer 6

Beautiful, J.  it sings!

Answer 7

Jellz - you don't need to explain your poem first.....really.  Be confident, you have every right to be.

This poem has all the things I like - it has such a rocking rhythm (in the sense of a cradle being rocked....not Elvis Presley!) which immediately grabs me.  It creates images which resonate with me - how I love to sit as you describe and watch the sea (tranquil or angry) and although it's not a rhyming piece....your skill makes it seem that way.

Well done

What a fabulous opening line....!

Answer 8

the second line and last line were a little off rhythm to me (no big deal).   I  liked the imagery... I'm a sucker for beaches and sand. I liked it.