I can't and don't stay angry???

Question

I am curious as to why I don't stay angry when something happens? This could be with anyone. My jack *** boyfriend added a cell phone on his account for his "so called" son. We share some expenses, with one being the phone bill. I flipped after my investigation proved that he has a family plan "still". A family plan means "mom" is involved. This means that I paid some or all of moms bill as far as I am concerned. I had the service disconnected (it's in his name) & (the AT& T rep. disclosed this info to me). We had a major throw down about this and that as it relates to money and his past acquaintance. Now its like nothing ever happened. This always happens, no mater what went on things resolve even if we don't necessarily have a intelligent conversation to resolve it. When we are together, what ever happens for some reason never comes up, or it just melts. Should i carry things like this on? I don't want it to surface years from now. Am i just nuts along with him? This has gone on for over 10 years-its just strange.

Answer 1

Your an easy going person that's why.  You might want to start being careful what your paying for and ask ahead of time so you know (so you will know later you been lied to).  I would't let every single thing go that deserved an apology, if he didn't apologize when in the wrong I'd stay upset until he did.

Answer 2

Wow, I've never heard of anyone besides myself with this problem.  I hate it.  I have tried so hard to stay mad about something just for principle but as you say "it just melts".  I use to think I didn't have a back bone but now I believe it's just my nature.  I 'm seldom mad and when I am it's only for minutes. i feel like nothing gets resolved because i can't seem to muster up enough angry emotion to fix something.  

If you are like me you are very easy going and are happiest when the people around you are happy.  My husband sees it as a strength of mine and not a weakness so look at it that way.  We'll probably live longer then the rest  

Answer 3

Honey I think the next time that u 2 get into an arguement u make him sit down and u talk it out....

Answer 4

It sounds like he is a crazy maker!!  Get out while you are still sane!!  

Answer 5

Some people are just angry all the time, and can carry grudges for years. Other people, like you, are sweet, and simply don't have a mean bone in their body. I was like you when I was younger. I say "was", not because I am an angry person now, but because I learned I was allowing people to walk all over me. Some people look at kind people as actually weak, and deserving of being used. They look at kind people as marks. It isn't like in the books, where kind and sweet people are valued and loved just for being that sweet and loving type of person. No honey, life is much harder than that, and people can be very mean and harsh. I do not want you to think I am saying you should change. Keep being the person you are, and don't let anyone tell you different.

But, if you find that you are allowing yourself to be used, you must put your foot down. I have found that we can put out foot down, in other words put up boundaries and not allow ourselves to be used, without being mean or spiteful people. It is one thing to act out, to lash out, in anger,and another to calmly say, "No, I will not tolerate that". I will not tolerate people who disrespect me, or attempt to use me. Once, not so long ago, I allowed people to use my love and kindness to manipulate me. They would come to me with their sad tales, and ask for my help. I would always help them. I found, to my sorrow, that they never cared about me, or even appreciated the very quality that allowed them to get help from me. No, they thought of me as somebody who was weak, and to be used, and that they were clever to deceive me with their lies. When I would find out about their lies, they attempted more lies, but I had grown up, and I found I resented their easy smiles, and ability to sleep at night after using somebody up.

I realized that I allowed this to happen, that in some ways I was that patsy they thought of me. Not in the sense that I had done anything wrong, but in my naive belief that everyone has some good inside of them. It isn't true, some people are just bad to the bone. They may not have started out that way, but their selfishness, and jealousy reduced them in many ways. I discovered I was among the wrong people,and so I left them.

I now have one very dear friend, and some here at Answers who actually appreciate me. I am not nearly as lonely as I thought I would be without being surrounded by people. I actually find I enjoy my solitude, especially if it means I will not be used or abused. As I grow, and learn, I find that life can be very sweet, but only when we refuse to be used and taken advantage of.

It is good that you have the strength to not stay angry. People hold anger to them as a shield against potential hurt. When we let go of wrongs done us it doesn't make us weak, it makes us strong. When we stay true to who we are we are happy, content, and do not have many regrets, or lies to keep straight, or reasons to feel spoiled or dirtied by our deeds.

One day you will see what I mean. You may not stay angry, but when somebody does you wrong as this man has done you will walk away and not look back. You will see that  people like him are a dime a dozen, but people like you are pure Gold. Just do not allow the waves of life to melt your Gold away. Gold is prized, valuable, but it is soft, giving, and warm. That is how good people like you are but your very warmth and softness can be rubbed away if you are not careful to protect yourself.

People like you are a precious gift. Never forget that I said that as you walk through your life. You are a gift to all around you, whether they realize your worth or not, it does not change the truth of who and what you are.

Blessed be, and have a wonderful life.

Answer 6

somethings are not worth being angry over.  life is too short to be always angry. you will grow old faster and more wrinkles.  it's okay

Answer 7

your being used.....

Answer 8

Well getting angry is perfectly normal. Staying angry is not healthy. This situation could go many different ways. Are you happy overall with your relationship/life? Do you want to stay angry? It may be that deep down you feel you are being walked on or taken advantage of. If this is so then you need to find your inner strength. Find out what makes you feel so powerless and confront it. Liberate yourself. Or maybe you would discuss your issues if you could more accurately relay how you feel. Try different methods. Write in a journal, speak into a recorder and then listen to your own arguments to gather yourself, therapy, meditation. Maybe there are too many distractions in your life and you are over-stimulated. Try simplifying. It could be any number of things. Does it feel wrong to you or is it just how you are? You will have to look inside yourself to find out.