I can't believe I did this

Question

I was having a fight with my 17 year old son and she starting getting really violent which isnt unusual and he grabbed me by the neck and shoulders screaming and cussing at me, my hands were down at my side and my instinct I grabbed his jewels and started squeezing reallly hard, he let go almost right away and fell to the floor holding himself. what have i done? im such a terrible mother. its not that I defended myself but its how I did, I am one of those women that thinks you should NEVER hit a guy in his private parts. and thats why I think I handled the situation very poorly. Why couldnt I just have slapped him

Answer 1

At 17, your son should have a lot more respect and have better self-control... period.

The fact that it came to blows means that you haven't yet done your job... which is teaching him all he needs to know in order to get along in the world... you know... traits like respect, responsibility, morals, ethics and the like. You have one year to get this across to him, even if you have to spank him. 7 or 17, he has the same rights, which is none, while you have ALL of the responsibility... you have a lot of catching up to do. You cannot be his friend... you must be a PARENT: the teacher, disciplinarian and authority figure charged with getting him into adulthood. At best, you can only hope to be his best ALLY. Right now, his ally needs to show some tough love.

Basically, you did him a favor by fighting dirty. Keep it up and get control over the situation. Try to keep in mind this phrase: "what would have gotten through to me at this age?"

You provide for all of his needs, so while he is under your roof, he must obey your rules. He must go to school, keep his grades up, do hishomework, pick up after himself and do whatever chores you ask of him. If he will not comply, the door is that-a-way. You have to handle these little insurrections hard and fast.

Your new mantra is, “If the mama ain’t happy, then NOBODY is happy.”  The mama is the ultimate authority. You must step into your power as such.

The parents who leave the parenting to the school system and the kids' peers, will indeed reap what they sow. They will spend more time hauling the kids to rehab clinics, bailing them out of jail, and probably supporting the little rats into their 30s.

Believe me, you may feel bad now, but now you have his attention. You would feel even worse if he never learned to earn his living and continued living off you well into adulthood.

Begin with the basics... he needs to do his assigned chores without being asked, pick up after himself and do his own laundry... and get him to take an after-school job and bank some savings... teach him budgeting.

Answer 2

May be you did that in self-defense subconsciously , as that's the quickest way to defend a male, as you observed.  May be it was a judgment in bad taste - but it was effective.  Also, whatever happened happened.  You can probably sit down and talk to him, and try to reduce the domestic violence side of the whole episode./

Answer 3

Don't feel guilty. He was out of control and you did what you had to do before it escalated into something he could have been very sorry for. Seems like you need to have some sort of protection from him if he is violent very often. You have my very best wishes.

Answer 4

LOL!!!

Answer 5

You did what you had to do to defend yourself.  Now quit beating yourself up, seems like you have enough of that from him.

Answer 6

You shouldn't feel guilty at all. Your son put you in an awkward position. You had to regain control before he seriously hurt you. There are factors now you should start considering. Forget about the fact that you had to protect yourself, and focus on how to reach your son. If there are no male figure in your son's life, you should find someone who can help reach him. He must be someone who you trust.

You should keep one factor in mind. If a male tries to harm you, either your life or his, you should highly consider of protecting yourself even ringing his bells. I will pray for you and your son, promise. God bless.    

Answer 7

call the police rigth away,u son is out if control

Answer 8

honestly you shouldn't worry well in a way yes, but you should know that no son or daughter should've grabbed you by the neck and shoulders and start to cuss at you. but you probably weren't thinking at the moment and just was very angry, so maybe you did that.

hope this helps=)

Answer 9

Don`t feel guilty he was out of control and should have not been holding you like that. You just did what came to mind to make him let you go, if he comes at you again, just slap him then.

Answer 10

DO NOT FEEL BAD. Your soon has absolutely no right to put his hands on you. YOU ARE his mother and he needs to respect you. I  am getting tired of saying this CALL THE POLICE. He needs help and you should do it now, before it's too late and he ends up in a prison. He needs anger management and counseling. Do not argue with him, just call the police the next time you see him getting angry.