I can't feel better, I don't want to....?

Question

People keep telling me to fix myself and stop worrying about my boyfriend/best friend who is suffering through the same depression as me.... or well similar. I am getting help, in the forms of talk and pills but neither are working.

I want to help my boyfriend because he means more to me than I mean to myself. And I don't want him to suffer while I feel OK. That really bothers me.

He isn't seeking help, he had help in the past and refuses to get it again because it didn't work. I don't see him often, we don't live together, and I can't really help him when he doesn't want me to help him.

I have a feeling all the answers to this question will be focus on yourself. But knowing that he is hurting, is causing me more pain. When we are together which is few and far between, I feel better just being around him. I also know he feels a bit better.

I just don't know what to do. I really just care for him, even if I should care for me, it's impossible. He feels worthless. I feel worthless. Is there any way I can get him to try to find himself..to want to be happy with himself? Other suggestions for any of the above are welcomed, but please note: I can't focus on myself, I just can't ... thats my personality!

Thanks.

Answer 1

If you are both depressed, try going to get help together. Going to a psychologist or doctor together would more than likely be easier than going alone.

(:

Answer 2

Not being able to focus on you is not part of your personality; it's part of your depression. You are trying to shift the spotlight to someone else so you don't have to look at your own demons. You cannot help him if you are not well yourself and if he refuses to get help. Concentrate on your life, however hard it might be, and encourage him to do the same. You can feel better and you will. Just trust your doctors and be honest with yourself. Good luck:)