I can't seem to get out of this rut?

Question

I am a guy in my late twenties. I'm stuck yet again on a Friday night with no friends to hang out with.

I have no friends, and never even had a girlfriend. All I have is a good job which takes up lots of hours but its better than having nothing.

When I see the full lives my colleagues are living on Facebook, I feel so empty. They are out with their friends in bars and traveling the world.

Meanwhile, I have absolutely no one. Plus, since I have no friends I'm embarrassed to meet people since they'll wonder EVENTUALLY why I have no one else to hang out with.

I'm also embarrassed that any future girlfriend would find out I have no friends. Or that I have no life except for job and some hobbies I have.

What the heck do I do? I'm so hopeless I haven't even led a life yet. I feel so behind....I am so short that girls dont like me though I'm educated, polite, and good-looking

Answer 1

I like your case. And sorry to hear you in a rut because i know how much they suck.

You seem to care so much what people will think of you.

Your main issue is that you don't have any friends therefore you can't go out and have fun.

Well I've been in a similar situation before since i changed school and completely ditched all my old friends. It wasn't so easy for me to make new friends and everyone was wondering why i didn't have any other friends.

Since you don't go to school it's a totally different thing unfortunately.

I would have thought though you make friends at your work.

At least one anyway. Always try to avoid the friends questions if you have to unless you feel comfortable explaining to people why you don't have any.

The thing with this rut is starting somewhere and working your way up.

The start will be rough but if you want this then you need to do it.

Befriend a colleague go out one night make some more friends and go from there.

Get back in contact with family and make some friends through them.

Befriend your cousins partners etc. Soon you will be going out and meeting more new people.

When you start to make a few more friends and feel confident you can start looking for a girlfriend. Since you seem really confident this should be no problem just look for girls shorter than you =].

You can email me if you want any more advice =]

Hope this helps.

Chloe.

Answer 2

It's all up to you.  what about starting out small, go to happy hour w/ your coworkers and try to get to know them better. your colleagues may not be asking you to go along, just because they don't know that you like to socialize.  be more outgoing at work, try to come out of your shell. volunteer for community work, you may be surprised to meet others out there like you.  Keep your chin up, you'll be fine.  

Answer 3

You didn't mention your family - don't take them for granted.  But even so I can understand how you feel.  I had sort of the opposite problem with men- I am tall and plus sized.  Maybe you should try a match making web site - be very honest about your life and your physical attributes and I bet that you will still have plenty of women interested in you.  I would suggest that even if you go out alone - go ahead and go out.  Even though I know it is really hard to do that you 'll have a better chance of meeting someone.  Get involved with a church and/or a club or take a class or volunteer where you can meet people.  Once you do that you will still need to go out of your comfort zone and be open to people take an interest in them - ask questions and listen to what they say.  Then you can ask them about those things next time you see them.  I wish you all the best!!!!!

Answer 4

I am sorry you are feeling so low. Let me tell you a few things. First of all, about not having friends. Don't think of it as a negative. If anyone asks you about it, just say "Well, I am kind of a loner. A solitary life just appeals to me, in a way. I am not opposed to having friends at all, and maybe someday I will." Something like that. Nothing to be embarrassed about.  Also, I have heard it said that to have a friend, you must be a friend. So gather your courage and ask a collegue out on the town or to some event you are interested in. It is no one else's business who your friends are anyway so don't worry if the people you meet wonder about that. Just tell them "I guess I kind of like my privacy" or something. Then they will think you are mysterious. Also about the girls...just look for shorter girls! That's easy!

Other suggestions I have are to join some clubs, book clubs, health club, or volunteer for something, get into politics or causes, give some time to homeless shelters or other charities. You will meet lots of great people.

Best wishes to you. It sounds like you have a lot to offer a friend or a lady. And eventually you will get your chance. I just know it.