I can't seem to please my mother?

Question

My mother always gets mad at me for small things. Please understand it's not a "because she cares" type thing. I have my own money that I earn myself and save. My mother controls my money along with my life. I don't get a allowance all of my money is saved up from birthday money (from other relatives) and my own savings. My dad knows that I'm only a kid once, he tries to influence how I spend by helping me make more careful choices but he doesn't tell me what I can buy. Something that just happened was I asked my mom if I could buy myself a camcorder and she started to freak out and wont talk to me now. She said and I quote "Do you know how much they cost? Yesterday you asked about your college fund, how do you possibly think I can save up for your college fund if you keep wanting me to spend money on you!?" I explained that I have $229 saved up and she said "Go look at camera prices they are not that cheap! Now get out of my sight!" So I went up to her gave her a hug (which she pushed me away) and went upstairs. I have already researched and was thinking of getting a flip which is about $114 where I live. Plus I have no Idea why she said that she spends money on me because I buy most of my things including our Wii the games for it and a lot more! I cleaned our whole house today and organized it so that should have pleased her a little (which it did but only for about half an hour). And the day before today I was out with my friend and her mom at the park and then we went to a McDonald's restaurant and I was suppose to be home by 9:00 but my friends mom had to go and buy something really quick and we got home at 9:15 and she went crazy! It's not like I could control my friends life and force them to drive me home at exactly 9:00. Plus I even called before to tell he I would be late! I in my eye's am not doing anything wrong but why does she hate me?

Some things to know about my mom:

- She is 56 (If that has and Constilation)

- She lost 2 kids about 20 years ago in war they were 2 and 7 years old (Please don't say that is an excuse for her actions trust me we have talked about this before)

- She does not drink (never has) but she does smoke. And is a pretty strict Muslim.

-She gets aggressive when she's mad not like beat me up aggressive but like a little slap on the face (It started when I was 4-5 then she stopped that same year and hasn't since but I don't want to start that up again)

Why I'm taking action now: My 13th birthday is on 8/8/08 and that is in 8 days and I literally have never had a good birthday she always finds something wrong on my birthday and I really want one to remember (a good one).

Answer 1

Are you serious!!!!

you are so lucky to have what you do. So what if your mother is a little strict. At 13 you have a WII, your talking about a college fond, and you want a camera!

Plus you have a dad,   be glad for what you have and stop complaining!

Did you ever think that your mother might be having financial problems, and maybe that's why she gets mad whenever you want to spend a lot of money. She wants you to be responsible with your purchases.  

Answer 2

Try finding out something she loves to do. Maybe she loves to do pottery (first thing that came to my mind). You could have a day with your mom. Maybe a weekend (so she knows your using a day to yourself for her). If you buy that camera you could use the leftover money to buy a gift for her. I can't say why she doesn't like you. There might be something in her past that you remind her of. Maybe she doesn't hate you at all and you did something that was against her religion. I hoped I helped. Good luck!

Answer 3

Yeah I understand its a pretty tough situation you're in...

I think the best thing you can do is just put up with it and not let it bother you too much. I mean you can't change your mom...

Honestly I think you are pretty mature for 13. You sound like you know when you've crossed the line, so when your mom overexaggerates, just don't worry about it too much. Just tell her its ok mom i've got the money saved up and I'm saving for college... just let it roll over you.

about your birthday... maybe celebrate outside your home...figure out what you want to do and go for it. your mom may fuss at you but at least that was worth the fun right?

i'm not trying to tell you to be disrespectful/disobedient to your mom.

hope this helped.

Answer 4

well im 13 i just turned thirteen

but hey open up to her u noe?

cry if u have to see if she understands,

idk wha to say, your mom doing that makes u stronger, and in the future when she sees you doing good she'll appreciate it=]

Answer 5

my mom does that too...maybe she's trying to help you out, save your money on something decent i guess..