I can't seem to snap out of it...

Question

For the past maybe 8 months (roughly) or so, I've felt so overwhelmed and guilty. I hate myself, I hate my body and I have so many pressures from school and home and stuff. My mom is an alcholic and I live with my grandparents and whenever she comes home high or drunk I know its stupid but I feel like its my fault, and I get mad at her and everyone and my grandparents for letting her do her thing.

From the outside I look pretty glued, I've got a 90 average, and I play tons of sports, but for some reason I've been so down lately and I can't seem to become the joyful person I once was.

I'm going on a trip with my youth group in 5 days and I should be really excited, but I'm not. I don't really care about anything anymore and I feel like I wouldn't care if I were to die. I don't think I'd ever kill myself though. However, I've been cutting since February and I've tried to stop, but I always go back to it. When I cut, I feel like this is what I deserve.

I hide it pretty well though and no one knows about it. Its amazing how unaware people can be about whats going on inside someone.

I thought at first it was just a phase I was going through (I'm 16) but for it to last this long, I feel like somethings really wrong.

I can't talk to my grandparents because I've tried before and they told me that I wasn't the only one who had a sucky life.

Does anyone know anything I can do to get my life back? I haven't seen any of my friends for months and I hate being so down all the time. I don't think I'm depressed because I can still function and stuff and I'm never manic.

Thanks for any help.

Answer 1

just stop caring i had that problum  with my friends in primary school and i just left them behind despite them all being good friends of mine

Answer 2

i know what u mean..although i dont live in the same kind of house hold as you do...ive sometimes felt like taking my own life due to..difficulties in life...i dont cut but ive scratched the h**l out of my wrists....but yeah i think your depressed there are difrent kinds of depressions..you should talk to a counsler....or someone from your youth group that you trust,,thats why theyre there..so that they can help you if your in need...talk it out with someone you trust and hopefuly theyll be able to hekp you and bring  happines back into your life...good luck

Answer 3

Your not supposed to 'snap out of it' you grow through it and learn new things about yourself, like yout values and how you percieve life.

You can get help- and if your feeling overhwelmed or stuck then this is a very good reason to get help. It sounds like there are many contradictions in your life and your doing things or living a life thats not really who you are, its so important that you take time to think about things and whats going on, try new stuff, think about where it all kicked off... if it feels too much to do that, then try to see a councellor or doctor to refer you to a therapist, it can really make a difference to you.

Answer 4

Go to a doctor or a therapist good luck =D

Answer 5

there is no way you can just "snap out of it". believe me, i know, i have depression.

it seems to me like your mum's problem really affects you and i can understand why you feel guilty because i get this sometimes when someone else does something wrong who is close to me. i am not saying it is right to feel guilty, because it isn't - it their problem really. has your mum tried to get help for her problem? maybe you could see if she wants to get help or call a helpline? tell her how much it's bothering you and that you want her to change for her own safety because you don't want to lose her.

you said you don't think you're depressed but ook at some of the stuff you've said though:

-  don't really care about anything anymore and I feel like I wouldn't care if I were to die

- I've been cutting since February

- When I cut, I feel like this is what I deserve

- I haven't seen any of my friends for months

reading this back yourself - does it not seem like you do have depression or need to get some help? it seems like you really need someone to talk to, a counsellor or a therapist. why not go to your doctor and see if you can be referred? even if it is a phase, which i don't think it is, because trust me self harm grips you and never lets go, you should talk to someone.

"I hide it pretty well though and no one knows about it. Its amazing how unaware people can be about whats going on inside someone" you are so right!

good luck there, you aren't alone =] get some help and you can get sorted like you wanted. hang in there =]