I can't speak up in front of parents?

Question

My parents have had control over me since I was born. I am turning the age of 20 soon. They still don't want to let go. It's getting to me now. They always have to argue that their method is the right way every time, even though sometimes it isn't. They are still living in their generation. They don't understand that things are changed now.

Anyways, I'm having trouble telling them my true feelings. I want to tell them that I'm grown up now, and I can make decisions of my own. I know someone is gonna say "oh, just move out, or something like that" but the fact is, I can't move out right now. I need to get a stable job. I'm attending college at the moment. I don't know why I can't speak up.. maybe it's because I'm scared, or I don't want to hurt them, or even that I don't have a strong argument.. What should I do?

Answer 1

You just be yourself. Parents living in their own generation is so common. You just do as they please until you are ready to be on your own.

Answer 2

didn't you learn anything from Finding Nemo! Basically, stand up for what you believe is right and DO YOU, no matter what people say!

Answer 3

You say you are all grown up now. That includes having to do things that are uncomfortable. Show them that you can make a decision on your own. Be respectful and kind. They've loved you all your life and have provided for you. It's okay that you still live with them while going to college. I'm all for that. I did. I also followed the rules of the house and ignored anything I didn't like to hear. I worked and helped out while going to school. That's what a family does. I felt like you at first but then I realized that they were being my parents and as long as I was living there I'd be their kid. It's normal and you will understand when you have kids. Try to look at things from their perspective. Their girl, suddenly all grown up. It's scary to imagine you'll be on your own and they want to keep protecting you. Prove to them that you are mature enough. So, be nice and get a dinner ready for them. Sit down and make sure there are no distractions. Look at them, tell them thank you for all they have done and then explain kindly to them that you need to have some space. Tell them that you will be responsible for certain chores while living there and then do them.  

Answer 4

If you know they are not going to change, why bother?  Then everyone is sitting around all agitated.  

This also really depends on what type of decisions you are talking about.  If it's the decision of what to wear, it doesn't make sense for them to be controlling, but if it's the times you come in at night, what chores you need to do, if you clean your room or not, so long as your living in their house, suck it up.  Get the stable job.  Then move out.

  

Answer 5

Okay you need to really think about this because this will probably be one of the biggest decision you make. So when you re ready to move out tell your parents you're not a little kid anymore and you need to move on with your life. Tell them you won't forget them but it's time for you to make your first move by moving out. And if you're scared, then sit down with them and find the courage to say something. Good Luck!

Answer 6

I'm 42 have 6 children and attend school full time carrying a 4.0 GPA grow up and take charge of what you really want. or just shut up till you can move out

Answer 7

An easy way to get out is join the military. If you can stay with your parents for 20 years, i recommend joining the military for 3 years to get a view out there. Of course don't do it right away do some research and see what other people have to answer to your question. Again this is one option but i would make it my last resort. At you college see if one of your buddies can help you get a job. The world has its up and down.

Only way to get through this world is by knowing someone really.