I can't stand when my husband has more money than me, is that normal?

Question

I hate when he has more money than me in his wallet, in his account, in savings, anything... I dont really get it, because everything is "shared" and we jointly pay for everything.

Is it a control thing? or what? am I the only one who experiences this...

Answer 1

Its a control thing from what you are saying you always want the upper hand in the relationship.  When S**t get bad you want to throw it in his face the fact that you have more $$$.  Your just a f**k up person, you will be OK

Answer 2

You look at the amount of money in your husbands wallet? Does he look in your purse at amounts, It seems to me you guys might have more issues than money. Maybe talk to a marriage councilor to see what is causing this problem.

Answer 3

If everything is joint was does he have a seperate savings and other accounts?  

Linda

Answer 4

If everything is shared, how does he have more money in the bank? What are his spending habits like in comparison to your own? If there's an imbalance, it might just be that he's better at keeping the money in his wallet.

I know that I am more high maintenance than my husband. I get my hair and nails done. Since this is partially for his benefit, it goes into our overall budget and does not count against my personal spending money. Clothes shopping is budgeted- I don't go out on a spree unless my personal portion allows for it.

If you don't know where the money is going then you're not budgeting correctly. Money doesn't just disappear. Write down your spending and have him write his down. There'll be no question then. As a bonus, you'll be more aware of what your earnings are going towards.    

Answer 5

Most women want their husband's money, but you sound a bit over the top and extremely high maintenance. If you would provide me your husband's email address I will be happy to contact him and tell him his needs to dump you, immediately.  He'll be happy he did.

Answer 6

Men have the same prob if the woman has more because $$ reflects directly on their ability to be  the provider and protector. Now for you to have that feeling? you might feel that he is an inadequate protector or you just might be a really competitive person. As long as he is making more, in your mind you are the lessor of the pair and it bothers you... Why? I dont know.. I can speculate,, usualy women that  are / want to be dominant and in charge might also be alternate lifestylers.. ?  going more esoteric,, maybe in all your past lives you have been male?  just thoughts from a random mind LOL

Answer 7

You should be happy that he can take care of you and not have you looking for coins in the couch or something similar.  

Answer 8

Might be a control thing. I could care less if my husband has more money than me.

Answer 9

must be...doesnt bother me at all. he works more than i do!

Answer 10

It does sound a little controlling but in a way selfish. If you both pay everything jointly then why will it bother you. I mean if you said that he's always running out of money then I would be worried because I'd be wondering why he's wasting his money or who he's wasting it with.

Answer 11

Yes, as well as an insecurity thing....which is typically the cause of "control things".  I really could care less as well.  In fact I hope he has more money than I do.

Answer 12

Jealousy is very bad in a marriage. If you feel that having more money than your husband makes you better than he is, then you need to see a shrink to find out why. Love has nothing to do with how much money he has in his wallet or how little you have.

Answer 13

why are you fighting it, i mean at least hes got more than less, yeah i think you might have some control issues.

Answer 14

If everything is shared then he does not have more money than you.  The money is both of yours.

You don't say if you bring any money in to the household or not.

My husband and I don't share money.  We do financial things so differently that it was causing arguments so what we did was devide up our expenses in a way the was agreeable to both of us.  He made more money so he had more bills.  I took on the grocrey bills, my fuel, clothing and the child care expenses he took on the household expenses, rent, telephone, electricity etc.  I picked a man that is responsible so I did not have to worry if the bills got paid or not and he picked a woman that was responsible so he did not have to worry that I would spend my money before making sure I coverd my responsibilites.  

Any money I have left from my income after I pay my responsibilites is mine and the same goes for him.  I don't have to ask for money, I create it from my budget.  

If you do not work then figure out what it is that you need for a personal budget and sit down and talk to your husband about it.   Don't just want money because he has some.  Are you just trying to be equal or is there something that you need that your husband is not aware of so he has not alotted for it?  Talk to him if there is a financial problem I am sure your husband will help you handle it.  I'll bet he is a good man and you have not been direct and specific as to the problem.  Instead it sound like you have been whiny.  Are you someone that your husband can respect and admire?  Do you give him respect, direct communication, appreciation, food, and good loving?  If you're married to a good man who wants to be a good husband then all you need to do is fill those 5 little requirements and you will have a great marriage.  There will be no whining necessary.  

Good Luck!  

Answer 15

When my Wife was alive we shared everything. Especially the money, there was no his and hers in anything but our Clothes and Toiletries.