Question:

I can't take it anymore, I want to die.

by  |  earlier

0 LIKES UnLike

I've always been known to my friends and family as a good kid, but now at the young age of 14 I already want to die, I've gone through so much pain emotionally...I'm as a child emotionally when it comes to dealing with my parents, I just don't know why, but if they yell at me, I simply cry.....But when i fight, or get scolded by any other person I simply don't care.

Lately my father has gone to prison, my mother starting to show her true colors by becoming very snappy, and very crude towards me. She calls me all these names, a liar, an idiot, an a*****e and so on, when all i've done was make a simply little mistake... I feel like my father was the only thing keeping me going, but now that he's gone...I have nothing to stand for. I have a younger brother and sister, I want to be a good role model for them I really do, but I don't know if I can put up with the empty feeling that follows me even into my dreams.

I just don't know if I can put up with this anymore....I just want to leave this world behind, end the pain.

 Tags:

   Report

19 ANSWERS


  1. You are describing someone with clinical depression. Life has dealt you some heavy blows but things can get better in time. You need to talk to someone who understands what you're going through.

    You can call the crisis hotline number listed below. They know what you're dealing with and will understand.


  2. I know what you mean, that you can't just "shake" the feeling off..

    it's quite hard to do.

    I bet right now i'm telling you what you already know-

    but looking to the suicidal side of things won't help anyones life at all.

    Maybe it'll even end up where someone else commits suicide (not helping, I know).

    I have friends who have mothers exactly like that that have younger siblings and have wanted to kill themselves too..

    I'm not exactly sure how to help you with this one, but all I give is comforting advice that suicide is not the answer.

    Eventhough the feeling will stick with you, try to deal with it.

    And find other things that'll make you happy.

    ....

  3. well first of all   your dads gonna get out of prison someday right? i think he'd be very upset to be released and find out his son is dead. he defended  you and took care of you. the least you can do is wait for him.

    plus also you really should read the book "a child called 'it' " he goes through almost the same thing. 'cept his mother was seriously very crazy, and extremely abusive. but it would probably really help.

  4. First thing you do is to cry out loud, when your done then its over you will feel better, and you feel better then don't cry anymore, be strong for your siblings. Instead of hating your mother, try to understand her maybe she's in pain emotionally too because of what happened to your father and try to talk to her, tell her what you feel about it I know it is hard to do, but there is no harm in trying when if she rejects you, then just let her at least she knows how you feel. Go and visit your father more often, spend time with him and to your siblings. Try to go out and talk to your friend or your aunt, uncle, grandma, cousins or someone whom you can really trust how you feel so that you can release those heavy feelings and burdens your carrying. Or maybe you can find some way to release your emotional pains by writing a poems, or playing some musical instrument or something that you are inclined. If you do this I tell you, you will feel better and everything will be okay... Love and take good care of yourself, your mom, dad and your siblings needs you, I tell you. So be strong...  

  5. You cry because you get called names? You really need to stop crying, because that weakens you..I mean h**l I can't even force myself to cry.

  6. Nah man dont do it because

    1. Your life is worth way more than to just throw it away

    2. If you Kill yourself you will more than likely burn in h**l for eternity

    3. Good things come to those who wait, who knows you might meet someone who makes you happy

    4. Get better friends.

    5. This MOST IMPORTANT


  7. i thought of dieing to once. I thought my life was like h**l and dieing was just the answer. It's not ok. There are others out there who's lives are worse then yours. It's ok to cry and all that. Never think of suicide though. And do stay strong for the your brother and sister and ur dad and ur mom. But most importantly...yourself. And your mom isnt the best person to live with. Maybe she was hit when she was younger and called names. Maybe she never learned what it meant to love a child. Dont take those names to heart. And if shes abusing you, call child sevices.

  8. Devin,

    As you can see from the answers above, people care even if your Mother does not.

    Right now, surround your self with people that care about you and make you feel good just the way you are. Death is not an answer, it's the quitter's way out. Pain is not an enemy, harness it, use it to make you a stronger person.

    Believe it or not YOU can make all the difference in the world to someone in the future. If you aren't here, what would happen to them. Your future is what YOU make it. From now on, when your mother scolds you, as long as you know you haven't done anything wrong, just brush it off ***IMPORTANT AFTER (in private) the Scolding NOT DURING***.  IF you do it DURING the scolding it would only bring more and harsher one at that. Cry if you want to, but shrug it off after, the real men don't cry is over rated. Don't be a cry baby though =)

    Who knows ,maybe just maybe one day, I would NEED YOU to save MY life. Because you are there at the right time, at the right place with the right skills, or right tools.

    We are all ripples in some one life. Even if you are not aware of it, you change the world every day... As long as you are IN it.

    A single grain of sand can tip the scale is not just a saying. IT IS TRUTH.

    Stay with us Devin, I mean that.

  9. You seem like a good kid, your not an idiot of any of the cruel words you mother has told you. I understand your pain in a sense, my Father was very abusive to me when I was young and abusive to my mother, he had a drinking problem and I had days that I wanted to give up too. What kept me going was I kept thinking my father does love me he had a problem that he couldnt handle at the time and took it out on us, I had to keep going for my little brother and sisters and my mom, someone had to be there to protect them, as hard as it was I had to be a leader for myself despite of what I went through.  Believe me your gonna be an adult sooner than you think and this will all be a memory to you, not the kind any kid would  wanna have but you take it with you, one day you will be a father and you take all that love and respect that you always wanted for you as a kid and give it you yours.

    Who I reached out for at the time when I was young was my great aunt who is now like a 2nd mother to me. There has to be someone that you can trust or turn too that can help you with your situation, just dont give up, trust me you got a BRIGHT future ahead of you. Your a strong kid for taking this first step in reaching out for help that show your leadership abilities.

    KEEP IN MIND THAT YOU CAN CALL 911 THAT ARE TRAINED TO GIVE YOU ANY TYPE OF ASSISTANCE.


  10. please dont do it.  I have felt this way before myself.

    You need to find an adult you trust to talk to.  Sounds like you have had lots of trouble that you have no control over.

    Find a Bible and start reading you will see that you are loved by God and He knew you before you were born.

    you may have to get out of the situation for a time to find yourself then you can help your siblings. If you feel they are in danger  then go to someone who can help you all. Sounds as if you Mom and Dad have both made bad choices you can learn from their mistakes.

    I do not know you but I am praying for your safety

  11. See www.verbalabuse.com Realise that she is under a lot of stress right now, with your father in prison, and doesn't really mean those things she says, but she needs to express herself emotional pain to someone, (she blames him for bringing this on the family, but he isn't here for her to dish out the punishment to, and the other children are too young) and you are the one left in the firing line.

    She would be well advised to seek counselling.  LOW COST/FREE COUNSELLING: Contact your county/local mental health agency, and find out what help they can offer. Psychological counselling, with a sliding scale, based on income, is available through many religious organisations, such as Catholic counselling, the Methodist church, and the Unitarian Universalists. You don't have to be a member.

    I suggest that you print this Q & A page; put in an envelope addressed to her, and her response will tell you a lot more about her true self. Whatever happens, though, you need to be strong, for your younger brother and sister, and also for your father: prison is a very tough place, and if he found out something happened to you, it might push him over the edge.

    Suicidal thoughts are addressed in section 5 of my website, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Contact the hotlines, when needed, and teen resources are on the first page, and page K, of section 13, including free US calls via the coolnurse website.

  12. Don't choose suicide. You are stronger than anything that can happen to you! Think only of yourself....and the children.

    Besides...how do you know that death is not more painful than life? You see it as a way out. But the only way out is through. And the only way through is THROUGH.

  13. When someone we loves goes away we grieve and it really sounds like you are grieving. Yes things are changing for you and its disappointing that your mother is abusing you - is there a school counselor you can speak too or a relative that can intervene or maybe you could call child welfare. It is against the law to hit children or emotionally abuse them by calling them them names like idiot etc. So stop thinking about killing yourself and focus on what is causing you the depression and talk with a counselor or a good friend. There are 7 stages of grief and people don't have to die for us to grieve - they can go away in the case of your dad or people grieve when they leave a job - please speak with a counselor.

  14. Hey, aside from being a 15 year old girl I think I can relate.  I have attempted suicide multiple times, and now, two years since then, I am able to admit how much I regret it.  I can only offer you this advice: Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing they got to you.  Anyone. Your mom, dad, whoever,... they will be so sad if you die.  If that isn't reason enough not to kill yourself, know that your death will still be a notch (negative or not) they get to put on their belt. Just don't.  If you live, everyone will hold it as a strike against you. h**l, even if you die it'll be a strike against you. Killing yourself is also killing any dignity left inside you.  Its gone. Not in your memory, or corpse.  Just don't do it.

  15. please don't give death another thought u don't see it but u are your mothers strength.. we  sometimes give the daddy's the good-guy role to let our babies know what a daddy is, understand that even though i don't condone her hitting or yelling hateful words( idiot an liar an so on) remember she's human and your to young to understand that the love of her life will no longer be able to hold her and comfort her . all humans need to feel the touch of another of our other half....be patient little one remember that childhood even unhappy nightmare-ish ones all come to an end just keep in mind the man you know you are and don't let the bad times fog your memories of the good times...your mom loves you it's just sometimes really hard sometimes to be a mom and be hurt at the same time....be patient sweetheart and if all else fails write and i'll support you in your time of need ok..just don't die on me ok...besides  if you look  like your dad it makes it 10x as hard to even look at you  when shes missing him...true words.. i know i'm living it...i know  just  how  you  feel...

  16. i know this sounds like a super cliche answer

    but everythings gonna be alright

    i know right now things seem crazy and out of control

    but dont think you should end your life over it

    for a while i'd get alot of suicidal thoughts because i was in a huge depression

    and its reaaly scary stuff to go through =/

    but for me its great to just talk to someone

    even if they just listen

    its so helpful for me

    and [ idk what your religious background is ]

    but im a Christian

    and i've been taught that if you ever start to feel like your being dragged down or your having those feelings

    pray for peace and comfort

    and God can do great things for you

    ill be sure to pray for you to

    <3


  17. know what I do that to and people shouldn't tell you it's not ok to cry I mean that's your parent's that's yelling at you not just one of your Friends ya know. know what you don't need to listen to anyone it's you not them just go wit your gut feeling. And your mom is wrong for doing that. Maybe she is going through a rough time idk but don't listen to anyone who tells you it's not ok to cry about it cause obviously you love her a lot and that could be the reason you are crying so don't listen to people who say you are a wimp and stuff there wrong and idiots for saying that. everyone thinks that crying is bad for guys and it makes them less of men but it doesn't so go ahead and cry your guts out hun sometimes it just helps you get through your rough times.

    But suicide is not the answer if you have to go live wit someone else and make sure you tell your mom why though and tell her you still love her and stuff just don't commit suicide hun it really isn't worth it I promise your mom would prob acutally get worse and she would be miserable. Trust me think it through cause it can be selfish think about al you friends and your family. That is what I had to do.

    Trust me hun your mom loves you a lot sometimes she just might not show it. Just don't commit suicide

  18. I know how you feel.

  19. I'm not you, so I can't say I know exactly what you're going through, but for the past 3-4 years I've been pretty depressed, (on and off). but I'm finally starting to get better and its an amazing feeling. and I believe that everyone needs to go through some suffering in their life, so when better feelings come, its worth it and you appreciate it. if you feel like your mom doesn't love you or care, just remember that someone out there cares about you more than you could imagine, and also, there's many people that are going through things so much worse than you are. and even they will pull through. if they can, you can. I promise. if you need any help or anyone to talk to, don't hesitate to email me anytime- dngrushmrmd@yahoo.com. and also, your doctor...any doctor will be more than willing to listen to you and help you. but suicide will not solve anything. and think of all the people you'll be hurting by killing yourself. in a few years you'll look back and be so greatful that you didn't commit suicide. get through it, I know you can. good luck <3

Question Stats

Latest activity: earlier.
This question has 19 answers.

BECOME A GUIDE

Share your knowledge and help people by answering questions.
Unanswered Questions