I can't take it anymore!! I want to die!?

Question

I am 14 going on 15 and I have been homeschooled my whole life.

I have NEVER had a friend before. Not even one.

I have always wanted to be public schooled but my mom STRONGLY DISAGREES with public school. She will NOT let me go to public school so don't suggest that. And don't suggest taking classes or sports because she says its expensive

And what makes it even worse is that our sleeping schedule is very f*cked up. We get up at 2-3 PM. So basically we are night-owls. And I can't get up earlier than them and go out because I'm not allowed to go out of the house when they're sleeping.

I just want a friend, I want to know what it's like to have a friend, someone who I could laugh and talk with.

Becuse I'm so isolated I don't even KNOW how to talk to anybody. When somebody says something to me, I just ignore them until they go away because I'm REALLY shy.

Answer 1

be more independant. Ur gonna rebel one day. And u need to, so u can feel better and at first ur parents will be mad but they will soon accept it. Just do what u wanna do, go where u wanna go. They cant physicaly make you stay

Answer 2

wow -- sad situation. =[

i wish i could help you out...

i would deffo be your friend if i ever met you =] i'm just like that.. i try to be friends with everybody i can.

i would try talking with your your mom and telling her what you put here. if she's any mom at all she'll realize what she's causing!

good luck =]

<3

Answer 3

im sorry, sounds like it does really suck, ive been in public school all my life. its not that great for a teenage girl though it seems, so much drama and everything. im really sorry, shyness is something u just have to overcome, i used to be really shy, now im not and ive got alot of friends............ummmmm maybe u dont need sports? do u go to church? anyone there ur age?  or maybe riding a bike? .......try myspace?......im really sorry, dont cut though, its not worth it, everyones life has meaning, u just gotta find it

Answer 4

hey

really sorry to hear that!

i will b your friend if u have windows live messenger add

[e-mail]

hopefully talk soon x

Answer 5

Tell ur mom how ur feeling and how it is affecting you im sure she will understand and realize she is wrong in some way and please dont hurt yourself that will solve nothing

Answer 6

I've experienced something similar to you, and i understand how you feel. friends change lives. but you only have to be careful on picking your friends. some can give you a good life, and vise versa. i'm 16, but i only have so few friends (2 friends) because i dont trust everyone anymore. i've been backstabbed by many of my friends, robbed, literally ate and spat me out. but im always looking forward in meeting new friends. And i'd like to be friends with you, if that's okay.

Answer 7

Their many situations that seem out of control. Please listen to me do not attempt to your kill yourself. If this situation is so out of control please see your religious priest, minster or rabbi. See if you see a school counselor to discuss this situation. If this does not work please see your doctor. Do not try cutting yourself at anytime.

Answer 8

Life is never so bad that you have to make the call to end it. I'm 16.  I've been through a lot of stuff too, but never to the point of cutting. I'll be your friend. No one deserves to go through life without a friend. My e-mail is [e-mail] . E~mail me at anytime. I'm most always on the internet, so my response should be quick!

Answer 9

if you ever need a friend or just someone to talk to, please email me

[e-mail]

i would love to talk to you or even just listen

Answer 10

im 14 and going to 15 too and i know how u feel because my parent did not let me do nothen but then i told them that my life is going to be around other people and if i did not know how to talk to them then i would survive. my friend would cut her self too and i would ask her why she did that she would say the same thing that you said and i told her that it wasent worth it  she did not listen to me so to make her stop i would carry like a little bottle of alcohol and each time she would do that i but alcohol on it like 2 month later she stop and she became popular because people see that she did not cut her self no more

Answer 11

Oh goodness hun its alright!! Theres alot of bad things about having friends too you know, you might not like to have friends anyways. I suggest to just rebel if your parents treat you like that and maybe go volunteer somewhere (like a animal shelter) and you will make a friend. Just be open and try to be outgoing. Good luck!

p.s i will for sure be your friend! im addicted to msn anyways! to get my email just go to

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/profile?id=1...

(thats my polyvore account) and make an account and message me on there!!! =)

Answer 12

DONT CUT PLEASE.

get an instant messenger friend.

i'll be your i.m. friend :)

everyone needs one.

Answer 13

Please call 911 or a suicide crisis number the next time you feel so bad and start to plan a way to kill yourself or hurt yourself. It sounds drastic, but this is very serious.  Just try to find a tiny bit of hope that things can get better, don't give up.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). It is open 24/7.

Answer 14

Wow.  I think you might need some help.  Do you think if you told your mom (dad???) that you've started cutting and you think you need help that she would let you go to a counselor?  And them maybe your mom could go too?  I think she needs an outsider's opinion on what's going in your house.  She needs to be shown that it's not healthy for you to be living this way.

Answer 15

Oh honey, hang in there. I remember being about your age and suicidal. Even had something planned out one night and couldn't go through with it. And I wasn't homeschooled. I had friends, but nobody I felt I could really confide in--the girls available to me for friends were nice, but they still couldn't be trusted to keep that type of stuff secret.

What you are describing is beyond what I experienced--what your mother is doing could be on the verge of abuse or neglect. Will she not let you, any of you, connect with other homeschoolers? Are there any groups in your area? Are there no free activities going on? Would you be allowed to go volunteer somewhere? If not, then one morning, when they're all sleeping, contact your local social services or child protective services, anything along those lines. It's really not right what she is doing and she's got to have the message get across somehow.

Please, please know that while the pain is intense right now, it won't last forever and that suicide won't fix anything. There are many bright things in the future, even if you have to wait until you are 16 to move out and start living.

Answer 16

My daughter is homeschooled too, but she actually wants to be homeschooled.  

I think you should write a letter telling your parents exactly how you feel.  Even if they won't consider public school, they may be willing to look into other options.

Some things that do not cost a lot of money are:

4-H (small yearly due, about $10, then depending on your project it may not cost anything more, or you may need to spend a little.)

Girl Scouts (It goes up to age 19, so you are not too old).

Church youth groups.  (Free)

Book clubs at the Public Library (Usually Free)

In addition, many libraries have things like chess clubs that homeschoolers can take part in.

The main thing though is to really spell out on paper how lonely you are, and how you want some kind of social life.

Homeschooling can be a wonderful, enriching experience, with plenty of positive interaction in the community.  Or it can be isolating.  It depends how it is done.

For example, my daughter *was* feeling lonely earlier this year, she had friends at church but only saw them on Sunday and sometimes on Wednesday.  When she let me know how she felt I started looking very intensely for opportunities for her.

First we started making sure to make it to youth group at our church on Wednesday.  Instead of everyone staying home if a younger child was sick, I started calling other parents in the church and arranged a ride for her.

Next we enrolled in 4H.

We also started inviting her friends' families over to our house for dinner, to barbecue, and even arranged to go camping together with another family.

Next year she will be taking Biology, Literature, and possibly Art at a homeschool co-op with other teens.

Have you really expressed your loneliness to your parents and been willing to look into other options?  Even if they won't agree to Public School, maybe they *would* agree with something else.

Answer 17

In my opinion, that way you are being isolated goes beyond the normal scope of protective parenting. If you have an open relationship with your Mom, maybe you can tell her exactly how you are feeling. Do you go to church? Maybe you can confide in a clergy member if you do. I really wish I could tell you what the best solution is to your situation- best of luck.

Answer 18

I am sorry you do not have friends but hurting yourself is not the answer you are almost 15 hang in there you will be 18 before you know it and you can make your own decisions there are hot lines you can call to talk to counselors please look one up take care of yourself and good luck

contact Brittany she seems like a great person

Answer 19

I'll be your friend :D

Answer 20

Get a buddy, things will change.  We can't make it on our own.  Friends are a good thing and it works both ways.  Try to save yourself for a better shot at it tomorrow.

Answer 21

Dont kill yourself...You have your whole life ahead of you..these are just the lil tuff things that you have to go through rite now...it will get better trust me..Your not goin to 14yrs old your whole life..your goin to grow up and make your own decisions in life...everything takes time...just be strong. if you need to talk sometime i would be happy to be your friend..IM me at anytime..take care.

Answer 22

did u try talking to ur mom about letting  go to group meetings at ur church if u belive in god or go to the mall or chat lines just be on there to talk but DONT  MEET ANY ONE IN PERSON PLEASE . or u can go to the counsoler and get some help

Answer 23

omg are you okay well if it makes you feel better i will be your friend email me sometime mabey okay and dont kill urself its not worth it okay just cheer up and look at the bright side of life

Answer 24

this is so sad, I will be your friend! why dont you go to a public school!Oh and dont say that you want to die!You dont deserve to die!

Answer 25

Its alright, dont be sad.

I am public schooled but I'd give anything to be homeschooled. Public school isnt all that great either, the teachers spend half the lesson scolding us, so we dont learn anything. I also have to wake up at 5:30 am and sometimes school ends at five. Alot of the other students are mean too.

Schooling may seem to be awful, but just remember, it isnt forever.

Also, not being given the opportunity for social interaction definately isnt good for you. Try persuading your parents to let you join a homeschooling society and participate in their activities.

Cheer up, I'd love to be your email buddy! [e-mail]

Ps. Cutting never solves anything, trust me.

Answer 26

hmm....try playing world of warcraft - seriously, if you can't go out, play it.  or myspace.com or facebook.com - or even look online for a pen pal - or ask your parents if they can take in a foreign exchange student - good luck, and don't cut or kill yourself please.  i've dealt with a lot of people that do that...it's not worth it

Answer 27

I'll be your friend, www.myspace.com/geek10ne

aim- saintjujefruit

My name is Mohamed, what's yours?

Answer 28

I am so sorry sweety.

You need to stay alive and live through this so that you can let the world know how narrow-minded and ridiculous people like your parents are who don't allow their children to be socialized so that they can make sure they practice mind-control.  You can get out of there in 3+ years - that's NOT long sweety.  DON'T let them get to you, and then, when you are 18, fight like h**l and educated the world.

Answer 29

tell your mom everything. tell her how lonely you are how isolated you feel, how you would rather die than stay home schooled and shut away from the world. this isnt a childhood. this is a nightmare. this isnt your fault at all its your parents. theyre the problem

Answer 30

first thing u shouldnt ignorepeople who are talkin to u

im shy too and i got alot of freind

ur plan is doin is not good

Answer 31

i believe that you should try to convinse your mom by talking to her nicely and calm! have other members of your family influence her and convince her too. about the sports thing dont worry, if their to expensive dont join one at school join one out of school in your city or were your live those arent expensive at all.

With the friend thing dont ignore if you want friends start a conversation with people learn to be loud and bright but only on correct times!!!!! TRUST ME :]