I can never understand what is it that people see so wrong with suffering alone and in silence?

Question

i have a lot of issues that just hurt me and only me and they do so very, very much... i like to spare people around me from getting themselves involve in drama and they become offended ,specially my mother, she says i think she is just 'stupid' and gets very mad at me and calls me selfish , wich is alway a bonus for my misery and i just want to be alone and not spread my emotional pain to anyone...why is that bad?

Answer 1

people think it's wrong because people are usually at heart selfish and self-centered and can't bear to think that you might not want to involve them in something personal.

Answer 2

It may appear to be the most COMFORTABLE method of coping but it's not the best. In fact, suffering alone is the worst possible things you can do. Emotional pain can develop into depression and once at the stage of depression it begins to take on a life of its own. No matter how ridiculous the reasons for pain may seem it's ALWAYS important to talk about it. There is no one more understanding than your own mother. Perhaps at first she'll think it's a bit ridiculous but explain to her WHY it hurts you so much. She'll begin to realize that it's not such a trivial issue to you. You need to give it time to sink in all the way.  

Answer 3

sometimes, we need people around us, to help us find our way. We need to talk not only for them to help us but also for us to feel better. Because things inside will destroy you little by little.

Answer 4

People often have a hard time realizing that other people are in fact different from them. If your mom deals with her emotional pain by talking to and being with others, she probably can't understand why you aren't the same way. When she is in pain, she wants the people she loves around her, and probably wants people she doesn't like to stay away. Soo when you say that you dont want her to be with you through your issues she think that it's because you don't like her. She calls you selfish because it hurts her to think you don't love her. Maybe if you let her in she will actually feel better being there for you, not have you emotions spread to her. Mothers just want their children to be happy and generally get distressed when they are not and I would imagine that it's increased when she feels she can do nothing to help.

That is all just speculation as I know nothing about either of you, but I hope you figure it out.

Answer 5

People believe that you shouldn't suffer alone as you normally don't cope well when trying to deal with it alone, you more just put it away.

I'm currently 16 and like you i store everything inside, i don't tell people whats going on because i don't want to get anyone else involved, also personally i'm uncomfortable about speaking to people about my problems and what goes on in my head.

I major problem i've discovered from bottling everything up and not telling anyone is depression, I had a very bad depression about 3 years ago, and i got forced to go see a councillor, it did help but i didn't like doing it so i lied told them what they wanted to here and stopped going.

Now 3 years have passed and i've kept everything bottled up, and I'm having another really bad depression attack, ive had depression for the last 3 years but no its severe, such as thinking about suicide and other things etc

( more explained under questions ive posted http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...  and  http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...  )

Hoped that helped

Answer 6

usually person acting withdrawn are also suicidal u haven't said that but that is what the problem with wanting to isolate is i know because i do it to

Answer 7

I don't think that people see it as wrong but I think that they may get frustrated when they really want to help you but you refuse to accept it. When people really love and care for you, it isn't a problem when you come to them for help. I was the same way and wouldn't talk about what was bothering me because I felt that it was my problem not theirs. In the end it only led to more problems. Being a teen though I always thought I knew everything.

Why do you think you should have to deal with what you're dealing with all by yourself? Your friends and family are there because they love you and want to see you do well and be happy. I have had many friends who have gone through things that I didn't even need to be involved in and had nothing to do with me but if they ever asked for help or needed someone to talk to it was never an inconvenience for me to be there.  

Answer 8

i read this and thought of myself and i dont know if my words will change anything or make this situation better. all i can say is i am alot like u, i like to keep my pain to myself cause i am ashamed and cause i makes my feel like i have failed in some way by showing my pain. but with not reaching out to my family and friends and pushing them away i got to the point where i have almost lost some pretty important and amazing people in my life. i got lucky this time to where they did not give up on me. all i am trying to say is in the end its not good for u too push people away cause u can lose people or just dig a deeper hole for urself. everyone needs someone at one time or another.